said the fag
s, or whatever, but I don't really care at this point. I think that the experiences I've had here are worth sharing and might give some people some perspective.We're a fantastic community. At this point, this community has done more for me than other friends and my family could've ever hoped to do. I joined this community back in March of 2009, almost three years ago, as a result of curiosity if the game of mafia was still played and how it was played. I found this place, and despite the negativity of this place and the thickness of the "cliques", I was intrigued. I was a bit of a douche (see: huge tool) for the first while I was on the site. I occasionally look at old posts I've made and literally cringe at how bad they were, but I guess that's just part of growing as a person.
The true impact of this community didn't matter to me until Fall of 2010, when I moved to Wilmington, NC. I didn't know anyone down there, and the day I moved into school, I was supposed to head to Caffwagon, mostly because I wanted to meet up with a man I had met over the internet after creating my drunken "OMG AM I GAY?" thread, Guys, Pt. 2. Dramonic & I had spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and it was my first time with internet dating. I took off from my new dorm room in Wilmington towards New Jersey. On the way, Kise asked me to pick him up at his work in Maryland, so I stopped. I spent hours in the car with Kise, shooting the shit, getting to know each other. It felt very natural.
We arrived in NJ, and I was able to spend a fantastic few days with someone I actually loved. I got to meet Yosarian2, OGML, Ether, Patrick... some real veterans of the site. I was still disliked as a relative jackass poster and spammer, but at the meet, I felt really accepted and had a fantastic time. I remember having some amazing conversations/games with hasdgfas, BloodCovenent, magnus_orion, Elmo, and others. I returned back to North Carolina a little sad, because I didn't know people as awesome as that.
I have this theory that meeting someone first over the internet allows you to create a sort of friendly intimacy with them before you actually meet them, meaning the physical time you spend together is more valued. Which is interesting, because at the time, Nuwen fucking
hated
me. Every once in awhile I stumble across an old post of Nuwen hating on me, being a general bitch, and I responded obliviously. I remember when I first started, I played in a few games with Glork, and I greatly respected him. He won Paragon that year. I wanted to be that good. I wanted to be a part of the community. I played games with SpyreX, and Fate, and Ellibereth, and SocioPath. We formed the SCREAMING DEATH CLAN. It annoyed most posters, but I felt happy just to be included in something like that.A year later, I was hosting The Reckoning. Mastermind of Sin had RSVP'd, and I felt
honored
because I had never spoken to him. He was an old player, a veteran, and I felt even honored that someone who had spent that long on the site would be interested in a meetup I was hosting. I guess it goes back to there being some kind of draw to this site's OOC community that allows people to be drawn into its unique atmosphere. Other people RSVP'd. The week before the Reckoning, I got a PM from Nuwen. She apparently had just moved to the state, and had either forgotten about how much of a douche I was, or didn't care. She asked for directions and wanted to show up. Several other people did, as well. I was excited. I got to host a meetup with people I thought hated me or didn't give a shit about me, or know who I was.The night before The Reckoning, I got a call from my mother. December 27th. She was fucking hysterical, all she could say was, "WHYYYYYYYY, WHYYYYYYYYY, WHYYYYYYYYY?" And when I finally asked "Why, what?" she responded with "Why are you gay!?!?!?". I had been in the closet for awhile and then she responded with stuff such as "I wish you had been a murderer" and "I hope you have fun in Hell" and "why couldn't you have just been a rapist". Hilarious shit, but regardless, I was in tears the entire night. I got drunk. Gammagooey came over. I hadn't known him long, but I posted on MafiaScum saying I was moving out and needed help, and he lived in my city, so he volunteered. The first time I met him was him showing up at my house to help me move. That night, with The Reckoning on the horizon, he was coming over anyway. I got drunk. I told my story on MafiaScum.
I passed out at some point that night. I woke up the next morning to my boyfriend waking me up, saying, "Hey, I just picked up MoS from the airport. You have friends here."
I walked out in Superman PJ pants and a bathrobe to find MoS's jolly ass sitting on my couch, and he responded with, "Sup', Reck?". I engaged in conversation with him, forgetting what had transpired the night before. We talked all day. Gamma came over, we all hung out.
Nuwen arrived late in the day. I hadn't spoken to her since months before where she basically bitched me out for being a douchebag. I opened the wooden door and looked through the clear storm door. Nuwen held out a hand, with a giant handle of Kraken rum in one hand. "From reading the threads last night, I hear you need this." I took it in one hand, unsure of what to say. I gave her a hug. She hated me, for all I knew, but here I was hugging her.
She burst inside, shaking everyone's hand. I took a shot. I gave her a tour of the shithole I live in, and told her where she'd be sleeping. I helped her put down her bags, turned, walked upstairs, and stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. Nuwen joined me. I was used to smoking alone. As she stepped outside, Nuwen asked me, "So, I hear you and I have stories to share about shitty parents," and I was stunned. I suppose it's not unrealistic to see people that post on the same forum as me show an interest in my life that I have posted about prevalently on the forums, but less than 24 hours after my life was devastated, I had this person who had supposedly hated me a year earlier taking a genuine interest in my life. After the conversation, she said, "well, it's a good thing I brought you comfort rum!" and we began taking shots at like 7:00PM.
I was comforted the rest of the day. We didn't need to talk about my parents, or my situation, or anything. I was surrounded by people who were awesome and who cared and who didn't need to be bitches. It's hard to explain. Later that night, Fate showed up with Kise & InflatablePie in the car. It was awkward at first, but it was only the beginning of the meet. The Reckoning was only supposed to last a few days, but ten days later, we were all still there, including Hinduragi, who got drunk with us online one night and decided to come up and stay with us.
My birthday is January 4th. In lieu of a gift, my mother sent me page after page of Bible verses about how I was an abomination. I spent the day mostly being like, "oh, hey, thanks for saying happy birthday" while everyone was at the meet. I didn't get a single gift from family or real friends. Then, a group of scummers show back up at the house. One of them calls my name, "RECK, GET YOUR OLD ASS IN HERE" while I'm downstairs. I walk up and find them holding a handle of Patron in my face, screaming happy birthday and saying we should all get wasted. I still haven't forgotten that. It may seem shitty, but a year later, the only memory I have from my last birthday is one of the people I had just met online giving me the only gift I got on my birthday...a handle of tequila, which is exactly what I needed.
The meet ended. We made friends. Fate moved to NC, to be with Nuwen. A few months later, Pie joined us, because he wanted something better for himself, and we could offer it to him. The NC Scummer Commune started. singersigner asked to come visit, and she did, and we loved her. She stayed for a week. We didn't know it, but that visit would spark her and quadz08 uprooting themselves and moving cross-country to live in the same city as ScumHaus. After that, esuriospiritus visited. I stayed up all night to pick her up from the train station. She didn't know us, we didn't know her, but we got along. She met Pie. They fell in love. Now I'm annoyed at how great they are together. Pie still lives here. Glork moved down.
And here I am, a year later, about to host another meet and all I'm thinking about is that amazing moment opening the door to Nuwen and giving her a big hug the day after I was destroyed by my parents, and my birthday where scummers gave me the only gift I got on my birthday. This community has kept me sane, stable, and happy. I love the Commune. I love hosting new people. I love getting random messages from other people on this website. Kdowns & Kise might be joining us in this state soon.
It's insane, still, that a community over almost 15 people actually spawned from a single website. UT & I have collaborated on a screenplay, something I had given up entirely until UT & I decided to try together. My boyfriend & I have become much better overall after talking to some people on the site and getting advice. When I was broke and nearly homeless, anonymous scummers sent money to my PayPal account without asking for so much as recognition or repayment (thank you, whoever you are). I've received more love and outreach from this community than I could've ever had hoped in my years alone.
If you're a newbie and you're seeing hate and vitriol spewed on this site, don't worry, I did too. This is a wonderful place that nearly brings me to tears when I think about how much it has done for me. If you're a veteran and you think this is cheesy as fuck, yeah, it is, so what? Sometimes, truly amazing things deserve some cheesy recognition. And if you're accustomed to this kind of treatment from Mafiascum, I expect this testimony comes as no surprise to you.
It's a wonderful place and I hope, if you took the time to read this whole long wall of wordvomit, you've taken something out of it. Thank you all. I love you... yes, even
you
.<3 Reck
It was so lengthy already, I didn't mention you or Faraday or CDB or esurio or Oman or lots of people.