the off topic game

[AniX]

Oh, Hello Tyler Fritz.

[Jingolaw]

Last time I was in Minneapolis I wanted to take a picture of the Mary Tyler Moore statue (and I did), but there was a crazy/homeless guy actively yelling at her and blaming her for getting him fired from his job as a delivery driver.

[Eletriar]

I used to know someone who wanted to become the homess guy under the Congress bridge. I wonder if he wanted to commune with all the Mexican Freetailed bats that lived there...?

[Gadzooka]

Mexican food gives me gas.

[Eletriar]

Gasoline is so expensive these days! Just yesterday I saw a sign saying it was $3.49 a gallon...

[Narninian]

You should really try to drink a gallon of water a day!.

[GreenLiquid]

Why are there only hot and cold water handles? Why not a lukewarm one?

[Pie_is_good]

Now that I think of it, Darth Vader being Luke's father is actually a really dumb plot twist.

[Jingolaw]

I laughed when Bill Sykes lynched himself. Come to think of it, it reminds me of some mafia players.

[spectrumvoid]

I thought the posts must be remotely related to each other, just in weird ways? Don't really get this.

[Jingolaw]

(Bill Sykes is a character in Oliver Twist)

[Gadzooka]

Wanda Sykes was the voice of Bessy the Cow in a movie called "Barnyard."

[Jingolaw]

"The Voice of Bessy" would be a good name for a band...or a horror movie...or, come to think of it, a children's book.

[Eletriar]

Rubber bands and sticks make excellent slingshots.

[Jingolaw]

Slingshots are great for launching G.I. Joe over the house and into the pool...until his parachute deploys early and he gets stuck up on the roof.

[Eletriar]

Frizbeetarianism - the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

[al4xz]

Ever heard of the joke about the...Oh, never mind. I'll just tell it.

There were 3 men, stuck on a high roof with no one for 50 miles. They were stuck, in short. God felt sorry for them for being such idiots and gave them a each a chance to jump off and fall into a pile of something.

First dude thinks, then says, "I'd like to fall into a pile of pillows!" And he was tossed off the roof and landed in a truck heading to Joe's Pillows.

Second dude thinks, then says, "I'd like to fall into a pile of gold!" And he gets thrown off the roof and lands into a pile of gold.

Third dude walks up to God, but accidently trips, and nearly falls off the roof. "SHIT!" And so, God grants him his wish and throws him into a pile of shit.

[Eletriar]

Ohhhh Iiiiii--- Wish I were an Oscar meyer Wiener
That is what I truly want to be
Cause If I we- hey, hey, why are you biting me? Oh- oh my dear God stop! NOOOOO-*crunch*.

[pablito]

I've never been more disappointed when they gave the Oscar to that weiner James Cameron. He'd make the worst king of the world.

[Jingolaw]

If I were King of the World, I think that the first thing I would do would be to invent some goofy gesture of formal address. Like, instead of bowing or curtseying or whatever, like one would do before royalty now, I would make people learn a few tap-dance moves, or slap themselves in the head really hard, or something like that.

Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Every time someone would address the King, or every time He walked into a room, all the people would jump up and down, or do the Watusi, or pinch themselves on the butt, or something. Man, you better hope I never get to be King of the World.

Though, on a more serious note, I think that my second official act would be to revoke James Cameron’s Oscar...so, you know...silver linings, and all that.

[Gadzooka]

In a deck of sdtandard playing cards the suicide king is the king of hearts. He get's the 'suicide' knickname because his picture on the English deck looks like he stabbed himself in the head.


Another common knickname for face cards is the pair of "one-eyed-jacks" (spades and heats).

Even the Queen of spades has a seldom used knickname - she is sometimes reffered to as "the bedpost queen."

[Boris Moskovitz]

I don't like the English. They do little more than speaking weird, drinking tea, and having bad teeth.

[Occult]

I once read a sign that wasn't in english.

[Jingolaw]

Spargelsuppe (German for "asparagus soup") is a really fun word to say, even if you don't like asparagus soup.

But you should at least try it. It's good!