Three-Pronged Trouser God Mafia GAME OVER- Happy Ending?

[God of Power Outlets]

Within the chapel of the Free Love Commune, an atypical meeting was taking place. Usually, the degenerates and pleasure-seekers of the Commune would come here to call upon the Three-Pronged Trouser God. They would address the Trouser God, asking that they be granted such gifts as virility and endurance. Tonight was different, however, and the Communers were gathered for a darker purpose. Most of them would find no pleasure in this ritual.

One of their own had been brutally murdered. And now, the Commune needed to call upon the Trouser God to find whoever stood in the way of their pleasure. The table surrounded by shadowy figures was illuminated by a very large white candle, its silver holder looking to all the world like a small and iron fist. The flame danced, while white wax dripped as if about to spew its moist load all over the sacred church floor. The twenty-some residents of the commune stared into the candle and began their chant.

"Kuribo... Tripod... T-Bone

Kuribo... Tripod... T-Bone

God of Passion, God of Lust, God of Pleasure, God of Pain, God of Fear, God of Joy, we invoke you, Trouser God. God of Leather, God of Steel, God of Seed, God of Milk, we invoke you Trouser God. Kuribo... Tripod... T-Bone..."

A wind seemed to pick up in the chapel, and the candel began dripping sticky hot gobs of wax(?) on the table. A subtle whisper crept sideways into the ears of each person at the table.

"My children, my beautiful, fertile children who are nevertheless all of legal age for the purposes of this fiction..." The Trouser God spoke to his followers, caressing their inner ears with his soft words. "There are traitors among you, my faithful. You must root them out, for they seek to put an end to the pleasures of the flesh. I call upon each of you, find the haters among you, and I shall reward each of you with erotic joy above any you may experience. Defend our way of life, defend your God, but most of all defend your right to find sweet release in any way you see fit. Destroy the earthly vessels of those that stand in the way, send them to me and I will... punish... them... in a manner... ngggghhhh... most befitting... ohhh yes... ohhh Me... of a... of a.... TRAITOR! YES! DESTROY THE TRAITORS AND LOVE ME! YES! YES! OH MYSELF YES!"

The candle squirted its wax (I hope) into the air, anointing all of the Commune residents with its sticky, fecund fluid. Some of the folks thought they heard the Trouser God sigh in relief afterwards, as if from a great distance. One by one, the residents of the Free Love Commune exited the chapel. Their mission was clear... they needed to find those that stand in the way of their lifestyles. This will be their erotic awakening.

PARTAKING IN SENSUAL DELIGHTS (Alive)

1. Warped

ZZZX

6. DrippingGoofball

Loranthaceae NakedJogger

22. Gorkington

FLACCID AND DRY (dead)

vezokpiraka - Dr. Franklinstein - Commune Hack Doctor

- Lynched Day 1

pisskop - Steve the Sub - Commune One-Way Neighbor

- Gunned Down Night 1

Flubbernugget - Brett Favre - Commune Dick-Pic Vendor

- Bible Thumped Night 1

Titus - Donald Trump - Wrong Place at Wrong Time Repubdickan

- Lynched Day 2

Progfessor Emotion - Sister Fister - Commune Reformed Evangelicalist

- Bible Thumped Night 2

Saint - The Gimp - Commune Gimp-turned-Vanilla

- Lynched Day 3

Slobberknocker- Wally the Window-Peeper - Wrong Place at Wrong Time Commune Guy

Bible Thumped Night 3.

Fresh- Brian Austin - Pruddite Vigilante Neighbor

Defunded Night 3.

White Narcissus- Willy-Wonka Manson - Serial Killing Factional Redirecting Gravedigging Child Pornography Distributor

Gunned Down Night 3.

Bacde - Officer Grant - Commune Vanilla Cop

- Lynched Day 4

Xtoxm - Voyeurhotsex.com - Commune 3-Shot Stalker of All Trades

- Lynched Day 5

Imperium - Brother Censorship - Pruddite Missionary

lynched Day 6[/color]

farside22 - Mistress Drusilla - Commune Madam Jailkeeper

- Defunded Night 6

Misaka Network - Bobby the 18-year-old-Virgin - Commune Vanilla Townie

- Bible Thumped Night 6

Voidedmafia - Congressman Scott Walker-Texas Cruz - Repudickan 2-shot Nofun Vanillaizer

lynched Day 7

St. Constantine the Hermit - Bruno Knight - Commune X-Shot Meth Addicted Lucid Dreamer

overdosed on crystal meth Night 7

shos - Dr. Alpha - Commune Macho Doctor

Bible thumped Night 7

SB - The Chair - Commune Furniture Bondage Enthusiast

was bonded to shos and committed suicide Night 7

dramonic - Nosy Nancy Goodwife - Pruddite 2-Shot Meddler

defunded Night 7

Anenien - Officer Hardbody - Commune Macho Cop

Lynched Day 8

Spiffeh - SeXFiLEs3769 - Commune Conspiracy Theorist

defunded Night 8

Jaqen Hghar - Jim Austin - Repudickans Vigilante Neighbor

lynched Day 9

BANISHED (AKA MODKILLED AKA THIS BETTER REMAIN EMPTY)

RULES:

1. You may not discuss this game outside of this thread, with anyone, for any reason, unless your role specifically states that you can do so. I will supply anyone a Private Topic who is able to talk outside the thread.

2. Once you die in this game you may not post any more. Not even a "Bah/Go Team" post. Please save it for the post-game thread.

3. You are dead when I say you are. Until I post that you are dead, you may talk.

4. Once you have received your Role PM, please confirm by replying to the Role PM.

5. No quoting PM's for ANY reason. If you have a question about your role, PM me. Do not ask in the thread. No quoting PTs or Mod communication either, you can still paraphrase however.

6. Day phases will last 20 days, and night phases will last 48 hours.

7. All use of personal day or night actions MUST BE PMed to your Three-Pronged Trouser God. Factional abilities may be decided in the appropriate PT, but all other abilities must be received via PM (members of private topics cannot confirm their personal abilities in those private topics).

8. All posts must contain visible letters. You cannot use text that has to be highlighted to read, or text so small that it has to be enlarged. Although, coding your messages is allowed.

9. EVERYONE must participate in the game. You will be prodded after 48 hours of inactivity. Continued prods means you'll be replaced.

10. If you need to go V/LA for an extended period time (like more than 48 hours) please let me know by PMing me. You can also bold it in the thread if you wish.

11. All votes must be in emboldened in this format:

Vote: Player A

; if it's not in bold the vote does not count. Unvoting must be done in the same manner, though you do not need to include the name of the person you wish to unvote. For example;

Unvote Vote: Player B

. Unvoting isn't mandatory to vote another player, however doing so would be courteous to the Mods and help ensure accuracy of vote counts.

12. This is a game of strategy, but it is also intended to be fun. Some people play this game more aggressively than others. Do not be offended by this! It’s best to not take most things said personally. Also, leave any pre-existing animosity at the front door. Out of courtesy to the other players, leave your flavor-knowledge cocks at home and put your differences aside while playing.

13. No excessive trolling in the thread. Examples of this may be repeated posts calling other players names, using excessive profanity, repeating the same post over and over again. Trolling will be met with forced-replacement.

14. I WILL NOT answer any questions concerning any of my posts in the thread. If you feel I made a mistake, you can point them out through PM. I will fix any mistakes that may exist quietly. If you have any questions about your role or game, PM me. If I can answer them I will as long as it does not compromise the game.

15. Please keep all heads inside the hydra at all times. If you hydra slip, please use your hydra account to quote the post you slipped on. Generally though, don't slip!

16. As your all powerful Trouser Gods we reserve the right to change the rules and otherwise do whatever the fuck we want. Good luck and enjoy.

[God of Power Outlets]

Game Specifics

A Game by Kuribo, T-Bone, and Untrod Tripod. Reviewed in part by Quadz08, Glork, Gammagooey and BBMolla

This game is HILARIOUSLY balanced...at least I'd like to think so. It's a non-vanilla game, we do not want any first timers here.

Oh also this is EXTREMELY Not Safe For Work (NSFW), Not Safe for your Parents House(NSPH), and Not Safe for you to Read When You Are Wanking it to Strangers (NSRWYAWS). Kuribo is soon to be a professional erotica writer...so think of this game and all of you, his test subjects. Also UT is pretty badass at this too, and Bone is just bad, so viewer discretion is advised.

This game features mature content not intended for an immature audience.

Here is an example of what a town Role PM might look like.

BBMolla - Bobby The 18-Year-Old Virgin - Commune Vanilla Townie

Hello, BBMolla, and welcome to Three-Pronged Trouser God Mafia! You are Bobby, the 18-year-old Virgin, Vanilla Townie. Please note the 18-year-old part because we don't want to go to prison. Since you're Barely Legal, you're not quite ready to partake in the delights of the flesh that await you in this town. But you're sure willing to watch everyone else so that you can get the hang of things!

Stay in the Corner: Watching, observing, you're a vanilla townie pretty much. (Wait a minute...)

You win when free love, sex, and depravity can be allowed to reign and nothing can prevent this.

Aside from this anti-commune factions will be able to request a fakeclaim or two.

Please refrain from trying to out-guess the Mods during the game. You can't do it, so don't bother. It'll accomplish nothing in-game except the wraith of your Trouser Gods.

Night actions will be resolved using NAR, you should be able to easily predict where your own role falls.

Roleplaying and shit is encouraged, but keep within site-rules. Also don't be a dick about it.

Generally don't be a dick during this game.

Uhhh that's it. Your Trouser Gods thank you for your patronage and worship.

[God of Power Outlets]

All Role PMs have been sent out. Those of you who have access to private topics should start seeing them within the next 5 minutes. Once that happens I'll unlock the thread. Good luck BITCHES.

[God of Power Outlets]

Game will begin when 19 confirm.

[God of Power Outlets]

TellTaleHeart walks through the woods, the weight of the recent meeting on his mind. Though he had nothing to say, he felt he was unready for this trial. He decided to leave the commune. Just as he approaches the border, a tentacle beckons to him. Curious, and more curiously aroused, TTH approaches the tentacle. He squeals in delight as the tentacle wraps its bulging, veinous limb around him. He moans in pleasure as the tentacle does the unspeakable to him, then collapses in exstacy. The tentacle climaxes, spraying thick white ink... Or something... All over him. TTH enters into a peaceful, eternal sleep. The white "ink" coalesces and takes on TTH's form, now identifying as Wisdom. Wisdom walks to the Commune, strong in mind and body where TTH was not.

tellTaleHeart is no more. Wisdom is come.

Wisdom replaces TellTaleHeart, effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

The game (finally sheesh) begins.

Currently Voting: No one

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

Please keep all hands, feet, and heads inside the hydras at all times please. We wouldn't want anyone to lose limbs...

[God of Power Outlets]

On a bright and sunny day, Wisdom finds a large, sticky tree on the outskirts of town. As he approaches it, the branches reach down and grab him. He screams in both terror and delight as the tree rubs its trunk vigorously with him. The tree starts to shake, then shudders. It sprays Wisdom in a white glob of sap, engulfing him completely. When Wisdom finally frees himself, he finds that he has grown another head. Together, they call themselves White Narcissus.

Wisdom is no more. White Narcissus is come.

White Narcissus (Wisdom and Sakura Hana) replaces Wisdom effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

The ground beneath wgeurts cracks, then opens wide. He falls into the damp hole, but is then immediately thrust upward into the air by a giant, iridescent, living cock. It throbs and undulates, the light dancing off its multi-colored hide. It opens wide its gaping maw and swallows wgeurts whole. Thrashing and thrusting into the air, it turns to the people of the commune. The cock throbs faster, harder as the hole of moist earth closes around it slightly. Finally, it spits its discharge into the town. Relieved, this avatar of the trouser gods withdraws into the earth from whence it came.

"Wgeurts is no more. Pisskop is come."

pisskop replaces wgeurts effective immediately

[God of Power Outlets]

Chuck Tingle is the greatest author of the modern time. Before our votecount, please enjoy this masterpiece of a cover. It's about a guy who clones his own butt which comes to life and makes sweet love to him:

Votecount #1

Currently Votes:

TheIrishPope (4)- White Narcissus, Gorkington, Titus, Profgessor Emotion
Oversoul (3)- NakedJogger, Oversoul, pisskop
White Narcissist (1)- hiplop
farside22 (1)- Xtoxm
Voidedmafia (1)- farside22
hiplop (1)- Anenien
ZZZX (1)- Fresh
Gorkington (1)- ZZZX
Titus (1)- masters of fart

Not Voting: Jaqen Hghar, Imperium, Idiot Savant, Quaroath, Saint, Vifam, TheIrishPope, ActionDan, Flubbernugget, dramonic, Voidedmafia.

If any of the votes are wrong, let me know.

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

Edited the votecount to reflect non-voters as per Titus' request and to straighten out farside's vote

[God of Power Outlets]

Slobberknocker (hiplop and Panzerjager) replaces hiplop effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

Spiffeh replaces Vifam, effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

Do not adjust your computer sets....this is not a drill.

Spoiler: Kinky

Vote Count #2

TheIrishPope (4) - Profgessor Emotion, Gorkington, Titus, White Narcissus
Saint (3) - Slobberknocker, Xtoxm, pisskop
Oversoul (3) - NakedJogger, Flubbernugget
Jaqen Hghar (2) - masters of fart, Spiffeh
White Narcissist (1) - Anenien
Voidedmafia (1) - farside22
ZZZX (1) - Fresh
Gorkington (1) - ZZZX
Pisskop (1) - Jaqen Hghar
Imperium (1) - Oversoul
Titus (1) - Idiot Savant
masters of fart (1) - Voidedmafia

Not Voting: ActionDan, dramonic, Imperium, Quaroath, Saint, TheIrishPope

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check: Prods going out

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #3

TheIrishPope (3) - Profgessor Emotion, Titus, White Narcissus
Saint (3) - Slobberknocker, Xtoxm, dramonic
Jaqen Hghar (3) - masters of fart, Spiffeh, pisskop
Titus (3) - Idiot Savant, farside22, Gorkington
Oversoul (2) - NakedJogger, Flubbernugget
White Narcissist (1) - Anenien
ZZZX (1) - Fresh
Gorkington (1) - ZZZX
Imperium (1) - Oversoul
masters of fart (1) - Voidedmafia

Not Voting: ActionDan, Imperium, Jaqen Hghar, Quaroath, Saint, TheIrishPope

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check: All good

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Sometimes I just troll google...

Vote Count #4

Loranthaceae (6) - Spiffeh, Voidedmafia, Flubbernugget, Slobberknocker, Quaroath, masters of fart
Titus (4) - Idiot Savant, farside22, Gorkington, ZZZX
TheIrishPope (3) - Profgessor Emotion, Titus, Anenien
Saint (2) - dramonic, Oversoul
Masters of fart (2) - Gorkington, White Narcissus
Jaqen Hghar (1) - pisskop
Oversoul (1) - NakedJogger
Idiot Savant (1) - Xtoxm

Not Voting: ActionDan, Fresh, Imperium, Jaqen Hghar, Saint, TheIrishPope

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check:

Loranthaceae replaces NakedJogger

, Prods going out

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Mod: 849 has Gork voting twice. Mistake?

Yes.

Now, let me introduce to you some of our more....famous creations. First...these guys...headlining Vegas and book clubs everywhere...

Vote Count #5

TheIrishPope (7) - Profgessor Emotion, Titus, Anenien, Imperium, masters of fart, pisskop, Oversoul
Loranthaceae (5) - Spiffeh, Voidedmafia, Flubbernugget, Slobberknocker, Quaroath
Titus (3) - Idiot Savant, farside22, ZZZX
Masters of fart (2) - Gorkington, White Narcissus
Saint (1) - dramonic
Oversoul (1) - Loranthaceae
Idiot Savant (1) - Xtoxm

Not Voting: ActionDan, Fresh, Jaqen Hghar, Saint, TheIrishPope

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check: All Good

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Today's votecount is brought to you by kuribo's sudden realization #224:

"Holy shit, Milked By Bigfoot? That could be a best-seller. So this lactating lady is in the woods, when suddenly she's accosted by a Bigfoot... with sexy results!"

Vote Count #6

TheIrishPope (8)- Profgessor Emotion, Titus, Anenien, pisskop, Oversoul, Quaroath, Voidedmafia, WhiteNarcissus
Loranthaceae (3)- Spiffeh, Flubbernugget, Slobberknocker
Titus (3) - Idiot Savant, farside22, ZZZX
Idiot Savant (3) - Xtoxm, Imperium, Gorkington
Progfessor Emotion (3)- TheIrishPope, Jaqen Hghar, Loranthaceae
Voidedmafia (1)- Saint
pisskop (1)- masters of fart
Saint (1)- dramonic
Not Voting: ActionDan, Fresh

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check: Idiot Savant is being replaced at their request

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Idiot Savant sits in the forest, contemplating how they wish they could attract a Bigfoot via lactation. No sooner do they find a solution (the details with which I won't bore you), then they are in fact approached by a Bigfoot. As they prepare to lactate for him, the Bigfoot reveals herself to be a Lady Sasquatch. A Snatchquatch. Holy shit that, amazing, man. Why thank you. Anyway, the Snatchquatch demonstrates HER powers of lactation, by spraying both of them with frothy, creamy pleasure. From head to toe, like, I dunno, a firehose. There you go, a Snatchquatch spraying milk from its chest onto two players like a big milky firehose. That's some seriously classy flavor, right there. Anyway, after Idiot Savant collapses next to Snatchquatch in pleasure, vezopiraka finds the three lying asleep in the frothy goo. He proceeds to steal their clothing, layering both sets of clothes on himself for some reason. He then shaves the Snatchquatch for good measure.

Idiot Savant is no more. Vezopiraka is come. Or milk. Or whatever.

vezokpiraka replaces Idiot Savant, effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

Improve Your Wordiness, with kuribo:

Bukkake:
1. noun Variety of fetish that involves repeated ejaculation on a female by many (8 will do) men.

2. verb To ejaculate on something, especially repeatedly
1. I think you have a future in bukkake videos.

2. Turn off your stereo or I will bukkake on it.

Vote Count #7

TheIrishPope (5)- Profgessor Emotion, Titus, Anenien, pisskop, Quaroath
pisskop (4)- masters of fart, farside22, Oversoul, Slobberknocker
Loranthaceae (3)- Spiffeh, Flubbernugget, Voidedmafia
Idiot Savant (3) - Xtoxm, Imperium, Gorkington
Progfessor Emotion (3)- TheIrishPope, Jaqen Hghar, Loranthaceae
Titus (2) - Idiot Savant, ZZZX

Oversoul (1)- Saint
Not Voting: ActionDan, Fresh, White Narcissus, dramonic

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check- Loranthaceae is V/LA.

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Just a friendly reminder to stay friendly and keep personal insults to a minimum, or we will sodomize you.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #8

pisskop (5)- masters of fart, farside22, Oversoul, Slobberknocker, Quaroath
TheIrishPope (4)- Profgessor Emotion, Titus, Anenien, pisskop
vezokpiraka (4) - Xtoxm, Imperium, Gorkington, White Narcissus
Loranthaceae (3)- Spiffeh, Flubbernugget, Voidedmafia
Progfessor Emotion (3)- TheIrishPope, Jaqen Hghar, Loranthaceae
Titus (2) - vezokpiraka, ZZZX
farside22 (1) - pisskop
White Narcissist (1) - Saint

Not Voting: ActionDan, Fresh, dramonic

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check- Prods going out, Loranthaceae on v/la

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Kuribo Presents....Porntacular Pickup Lines

"hey was your daddy a thief? Cause I'd love for you to take a shit on my chest."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd whip your nuts with a car antenna."
"Nice to meet you, can I smell your fuckhole?"

------------------------------------------------------------

Vote Count #9

pisskop (7) - masters of fart, Oversoul, Quaroath, dramonic, Jaqen Hghar, vezokpiraka, Fresh
vezokpiraka (7) - Xtoxm, Gorkington, White Narcissus, farside22, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, Flubbernugget
TheIrishPope (2) - Titus, Anenien
Progfessor Emotion (2) - TheIrishPope, Loranthaceae
Loranthaceae (1) - Voidedmafia
Titus (1) - ZZZX
White Narcissist (1) - Saint
Fresh (1) - Spiffeh
masters of fart (1) - pisskop

Not Voting: ActionDan, Imperium

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check- Seeking replacement for ActionDan, Loranthaceae on v/la

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

ActionDan decides to take a walk and clear his head. Today has been stressful, and he needs to make sure he makes the right choices this day. Around lunch time, he happens upon a fairly busy beehive. Why, he'd never noticed bees here before. He inspects the beehive closer, and notices sweet white honey dripping from the hive. The warm, inviting hive...

"Hmmm," says ActionDan, "it would be a huge mistake not to fuck this beehive."

Wait, what? ActionDan drops trough and before you can say "what the fuck am I reading?" He's balls-deep in the beehive. He starts pumping away at the warm hole for all he's worth, his balls slapping wildly against the home of these angry insects. But these are no ordinary bees, they're cock-bees. They become enraged, enveloping him from head to toe. He's more bee than man, and they cover him with their sticky white honey. The king of all cock-bees begins to partake of the honey that covers ActionDan. In doing so, he absorbs ActionDan's powers and takes on a human form. Calling himself "curiouskarmadog" he takes Dan's place in the commune. Hardly anyone notices.

The moral of the story is that if you flake out of my game, I'll have you fuck a cock-beehive.

Curiouskarmadog replaces ActionDan, effective now.

[God of Power Outlets]

And now for something completely different, we present to you kuribo's origin story. Please sing along to the tune of "Devil Went Down to Georgia"

Well the Devil went down to Maryland
He was lookin' for a hole to steal
He was in a bind 'cause he wanted behind
And he was willin' to make a deal

When he came across this young man
Jackin on his diddle and playin' it hot
And the Devil jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, "Boy, let me tell you what"

"You probably didn't know it
But I'm a monkey spanker too
And if you care to take a dare
I'll just make a bet with you"

"Now you play a pretty good diddle, boy
But give the Devil his due
I'll bet a donger of gold against your hole
I think I'm better than you"

The boy said, "My name's Kuri
And it might be a sin
But I'm gonna take your bet, you're gonna regret
I'm the best there's ever been"

Kuri you lotion up your hand and play your diddle hard
'Cause hell's broke loose in Maryland and the Devil deals the cards
And if you win you get this shiny penis made of gold
But if you lose the Devil gets your hole

The Devil opened up his fly
And he said, "It's time to dance"
And fire flew from his fingertips
As he lubed up his hands

And then he pulled his palm across his cock
And it made an evil hiss
And a band of demons joined in
And it sounded like he'd need a sock

When the Devil finished
Kuri said, "Well you're pretty good old son
But you just sit down in that chair right there
I'm gonna show you how this stuff's done"

Fire when he's peeing, run boys, run
The Devil's gonna put VD in my trunk
Beatin my meat as fast as I can
Spanking it till I got cramps in my hand

Well that ol' Devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And the devil turned Kuri's cock to gold
And it hung down to his feet.

Kuri said, "Devil, just come on back
If you ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch
I'm the best there's ever been"

------------------------

Vote Count #10

pisskop (8) - masters of fart, Quaroath, dramonic, Jaqen Hghar, vezokpiraka, Fresh, Loranthaceae, Saint
vezokpiraka (6) - Xtoxm, White Narcissus, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, Flubbernugget, Oversoul
Fresh (4) - Spiffeh, farside22, Gorkington, pisskop
TheIrishPope (2) - Titus, Anenien
Progfessor Emotion (1) - TheIrishPope
Loranthaceae (1) - Voidedmafia
Titus (1) - ZZZX

Please correct me if I missed a vote or two.
Not Voting: curiouskarmadog, Imperium

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check-

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Word's with your Trouser Gods!

Phone Throbbing: The act of searching for your phone in a stranger's snatch

Deep Jacking: The act plugging your penis into a DC outlet

Car Service: The act of of sodomizing your best friend in the backseat of their mom's SUV

Vote Count #11
vezokpiraka (9) - Xtoxm, White Narcissus, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, Flubbernugget, Oversoul, farside22, pisskop, Titus
pisskop (8) - masters of fart, Quaroath, dramonic, Jaqen Hghar, vezokpiraka, Fresh, Loranthaceae, Saint
Fresh (2) - Spiffeh, Gorkington,
TheIrishPope (1) - Anenien
Progfessor Emotion (1) - TheIrishPope
Loranthaceae (1) - Voidedmafia
Titus (1) - ZZZX

Not Voting: curiouskarmadog, Imperium

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check - Prods gone out

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Fun fact: Amazon is extremely picky about some of its erotica. Although bestiality is banned outright on amazon, shifter erotica and monster erotica are both perfectly okay! With shifter erotica, everyone must be in completely human form. With monster erotica, though, anything goes as long as the creature is either extinct or fictional. So if you want to write a story about fucking dragons, you're perfectly free to publish it on Amazon!

Barnes and Noble, on the other hand, allows almost anything, including bestiality, incest, and scat.

Vote Count #12
vezokpiraka (11) - Xtoxm, White Narcissus, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, Flubbernugget, Oversoul, farside22, pisskop, Titus, Saint, Gorkington
pisskop (8) - masters of fart, Quaroath, dramonic, Jaqen Hghar, vezokpiraka, Fresh, Loranthaceae, Voidedmafia
TheIrishPope (1) - Anenien
Progfessor Emotion (1) - TheIrishPope
Loranthaceae (2) - Spiffeh, Imperium
Titus (1) - ZZZX

Not Voting: curiouskarmadog

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

Activity Check - Prods gone out

Deadline is August 30th 8pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Final Vote Count

vezokpiraka (13) - Xtoxm, White Narcissus, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, Flubbernugget, Oversoul, farside22, pisskop, Titus, Gorkington, Jaqen Hghar, Saint, Anenien

pisskop (7) - masters of fart, Quaroath, dramonic, vezokpiraka, Fresh, Loranthaceae, Voidedmafia
Progfessor Emotion (1) - TheIrishPope
Loranthaceae (2) - Spiffeh, Imperium
Titus (1) - ZZZX

Not Voting: curiouskarmadog

With 25 Alive, it takes 13 to lynch

It is now Twilight, anyone but the lynchee may talk.

[God of Power Outlets]

[The Commune had spoken, and vezokpiraka was the first suspect to be sacrificed to the Trouser Gods. Cutting down his motionless (and still fully erect. Yes, that really happens, go look it up) body, the citizens of the commune are about to pray to the Trouser Gods when a roaring noise is heard in the distance. A grey 1983 Chevy Malibu clunks along at a high speed, finally parking next to the scene of vezokpiraka's death. A disheveled man with wild hair and track marks in his arm emerges from the car, which is parked haphazardly on the grass.]

"Oh! Thank God I've found it! Hi, everybody, I'm Dr. Steve Pungo. Licensed Fuckologist, family physician, and CEO of Pungo Medical University."

[The Commune stares at Dr. Pungo with indifference.]

"I received a call from a graduate of mine that his life may be in danger. Now, I want to start by saying that Pungo Med degrees are NOT valid outside of the Peoples' Republic of Sealand. However, I can vouch for this man's innocence, and---"

["Dr." Pungo finally notices vezokpiraka's corpse.]

"I... oh. Uhhh... geez. Well..."

[He shuffles his feet, looking nervously over at the body.]

"Ummm, listen, I'm just gonna go ahead and..."

[He tries to casually walk over to vezok's body, then begins rifling through his pockets. He opens vezok's wallet, takes out his driver's license, a small "Yes I am a doctor" card with Pungo University emblazoned on it, and what little bit of cash vezok had. He hastily stuffs the cash into his own pocket. He then finds a Pungo University degree in vezok's other pocket and takes that, too.]

"Can't really have the authorities linking me to another one, you know? Ahem. Yeah. Anyway, guys, if you could just do me a HUGE favor and bury this guy really deep, I'd appreciate it. I've uh... got some records to go burn."

[Steve Pungo climbs into his car and speeds off at a breakneck 35 mph. The sky parts above the Commune and the one voice of the Three-Pronged Trouser God booms from the clouds.]

"Your sacrifice is noted, but it was in vain. You are no closer to finding those that deceive and hinder. I do not accept your sacrifice! The death of an innocent doctor is no way to ensure our way of life. Go now, as night falls, and think about what you've done!"

[The clouds fold back in on themselves as night falls.]

FLACCID AND DRY

vezokpiraka - Dr. Franklinstein - Commune Hack Doctor

- Lynched Day 1

Night 1 Falls....and the Commune comes out to play....48 hours...send ALL actions via PM

[God of Power Outlets]

St. Constantine the Hermit replaces Quaroath, night will be extended for about 16 hours.

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is Approaching....Morning Wood is Being Achieved...

(Night has been resolved, if you think you should have gotten some feedback but for some reason didn't, send us a PM......Dawn will last for a couple of hours)

[God of Power Outlets]

[The sun rises, splitting the dark night wide and exposing its warm morning to the world. One by one, the throbbing members of the Commune awaken. After rubbing out their morning wood / morning puddle / morning whatever anatomy they might have, they decide to continue the business of seeking out the people who want to end their fun. Upon reaching the Town Hall, (Which is actually a large, granite, penis tower. Did I mention that? No? Okay, so they meet inside the penis tower) they realize that several of their own are missing.

"I don't see pisskop."

"Well, maybe we should go over to his house."

[Pisskop's house is not unlike a tasteful bondage dungeon. Although they have the throbbing urge to look around, they can't help but notice pisskop's unmoving corpse in the center of the dungeon. He wears an extremely skimpy leather outfit with chains adorning it in various places. In his mouth, a tightly applied ball gag would have prevented him from speaking during his play sessions. More notable than his attire, however, are the 163 bullet holes riddling his corpse. Someone really did a number on this guy. Needless to say, he didn't survive that. As the veiny members of the Commune leave this grim scene, a dozen news vans speed past them. The media circus descends upon Flubbernugget's house. The Commune rushes over to find out what's going on, and overhear a reporter filming her segment.]

"Hello, everyone, I'm Tara Kockov, with WABD News," she begins. "A shocking story in this Sex Commune today, as retired NFL great Brett Favre, has been found dead this morning. Preliminary reports indicate that he was beaten to death in the night by a stack of Bibles. Each of the Bibles had a passage highlighted...

"One day he drank some wine he had made, and he became drunk and lay naked inside his tent." -Genesis 9:21

"The Green Bay legend had apparently been living here under the name 'Flubbernugget,'" she continues, "and had recently moved so that he could engage in expressions of his erotic love. He enjoyed sending pictures of his genitalia to people, and in fact, I myself received several pictures of his Little Packer just last week."

"Yeah," says the cameraman, "Me too."

"Shut... the fuck up... WHEN I'M TALKING, Ben! Jesus fucking Christ!" The reporter explodes at her cameraman, but quickly recomposes herself. They can edit that out in post-production. She continues, "We're going to remain with this story as the news develops. Hey, folks! Anyone got any dirt on Favre? I'll give you a handy if you help me out!

[Again, they'll have to edit that in post, but what they'll really have to edit out is that Quaroath steps up to accept her handy. The reporter uses her skilled, yet strangely powerful hands to bring Quaroath quickly to climax--- almost pulling his manhood from between his legs. In fact, she brings him to orgasm before he can even share any information with her. He shivers and throbs in pleasure, falling backwards, his cock spouting wave after endless wave of sticky white fluid. And then some more. And still more. Paralyzed in the throes of pleasure, the sticky fluid never stops and instead covers him from head to toe like a cocoon. You probably know where this is going, don't you? After a few minutes, he stands up, but he isn't Quaroath anymore. He has become St. Constantine the Hermit. Quaroath is no more. St. Constantine is come.]

"God damn," says Tara Kockov, "This is one weird fucking town."

[In the midst of the media circus, the day has begun.]

pisskop was gunned down. He was Steve the Sub, Commune One-Way Neighbor.
Flubbernugget was Bible thumped. He was Brett Favre, Commune Dick-Pic Vendor.

No one is voting.
With 22 alive, it takes 12 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

I'd like to remind you guys of a couple of things. First please try to be nice to each other. Second please try to keep your heads inside your hydras/post from the proper account please/

[God of Power Outlets]

Mourning a Legend....

Brett Favre Career stats!
Passing Yards: 71,838
Postseason Passing Yards: 5,855
Sexting Messages: 164,032

Vote Count #1

Titus (7) - Gorkington, St Constantine, Farside22, Jaqen Hghar, curiouskarmadog, masters of fart, spiffeh
Saint (2) - Oversoul, Voidedmafia
White Narcissus (1) - White Narcissus
Voidedmafia (1) - Loranthaceae
St Constantine (1) - Titus

Not Voting (10) - Anenien, dramonic, Fresh, Imperium, Profgessor Emotion, Saint, Slobberknocker, TheIrishPope, Xtoxm, ZZZX

With 22 Alive, it takes 12 to Lynch

Activity Check - Prods going out

Deadline is Monday, September 14th, 11:59pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Also mod, is this correct?

vezokpiraka - Flubbernugget - Brett Favre - Dick-Pic Vendor

- Bible thumped Night 1

I have corrected the OP

[God of Power Outlets]

Mourning a Legend...

Brett Favre Career Stats!
Touchdowns: 508
Post-Season Touchdowns: 44
Touched himself while texting reporters: 52

----------------------------------------------------------------

Vote Count #2

Titus (10) - Gorkington, St Constantine, Farside22, Jaqen Hghar, curiouskarmadog, masters of fart, spiffeh, Titus, Xtoxm, Saint
Saint (2) - Oversoul, Voidedmafia
Voidedmafia (1) - Loranthaceae

Not Voting (9) - Anenien, dramonic, Fresh, Imperium, Profgessor Emotion, Slobberknocker, TheIrishPope, White Narcissus, ZZZX

With 22 Alive, it takes 12 to Lynch

Activity Check - Prods going out

Deadline is Monday, September 14th, 11:59pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count Final

Titus (12) - Gorkington, Farside22, curiouskarmadog, spiffeh, Xtoxm, Slobberknocker, St Constantine, masters of fart, Imperium, White Narcissus, Jaqen Hghar, Titus

Saint (2) - Oversoul, Anenien
Voidedmafia (1) - Loranthaceae
White Narcissus (1) - Saint
St. Constantine the Hermit (1) - Voidedmafia

Not Voting (5) - dramonic, Fresh, Profgessor Emotion, TheIrishPope, ZZZX

With 22 Alive, it takes 12 to Lynch

Activity Check - Seeking replacement for TIP

-------------------------

It is now Twilight, that will last until I say so.

[God of Power Outlets]

[The Commune have spoken, and the next to die is Titus. Her body slumps forward, twitching against the noose, then finally is still. Just as the Communers are about to write today off as another loss, Titus' hair begins to move. Flapping wildly in the wind, the sentient follicles speak.]

Hair: Losers! You know not what you've done! You could have had it all. If you'd simply given up your liberal ways, I could have slashed your taxes and ushered in a new prosperity! America could have been great again, you idiots! You're fired! All of you are fired!

[The talking hair atop Titus' corpse is interrupted by a voice from above. The loudest figure of the Three Pronged Trouser God speaks.]

Trouser God: My faithful, today you have smitten a nemesis. I accept your sacrifice. In exchange, I grant each of you virility, fertility, and endurance.

[A long, cock-shaped cloud slowly parts the other clouds and descends toward Titus' body. Titus is engulfed by the dick-cloud, which immediately rises majestically skyward, exploding in a show of white fireworks. The remains of Titus' body, the hair, falls limply to the ground. The Communers wait for it to move, but it does not. Before they can clean up the mess, a screeching vehicle roars into the scene. Tara Kokov emerges from the truck and begins her report.]

Tara: Shocking news today, the Free Love Commune--- where last night, NFL legend Brett Favre was found brutally murdered--- has suffered another surprising loss. In what may possibly be a case of auto-erotic asphyxiation, Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has died. Details are still sketchy, but rumor has it that his hair lived for several minutes without its life support. We'll have more on this story as it develops.

[Tara and her TV crew begin looking over the place where Trump died. Meanwhile, night is falling. A calm, peaceful moon rises into the dark sky. The evening is tranquil. The Trouser Gods are pleased for now, and their blessings smile upon the Commune as the inhabitants come out to play.]

Dead

Titus - Donald Trump - Wrong Place at Wrong Time Repubdickan

- Lynched Day 2

It is now Night Phase, it will last at least 48 hours and may be extended due to replacements

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is Approaching...

[God of Power Outlets]

[Morning breaks, and once the Commune has showered off the sticky remnants of last night's celebrations, they begin to emerge from their homes. Galvanized by yesterday's successful sacrifice, they start cleaning up the various yuppie garbage left behind by yesterday's media circus. How many copies of Variety did these guys need, anyway? In between picking used Apple products and wrappers from assorted soy products, they notice that one of them is once again missing. As they, one after another, realize Progfessor Emotion must have overslept, they soon find themselves on the doorstep of the two-headed Profgessor.]

"The door is unlocked," notes one of them. With the other residents muttering something about Captain Obvious, several of them approach the homestead cautiously.

"Are you okay in there?"

[With no answer, the search party pokes around in the home of the Progfessor.]

"Wow," says an onlooker, "Progfessor sure has a lot of vintage Catholic porn."

[The Vatican has one of the largest collections of pornography in the world--- at least, that's what the legend says. If that's true, Emotion's home must be a close second. The entire decor is a testament to religious-themed sexual escapades. She herself had been writing Jesus-on-Mary-on-Simon incestuous menage fiction. It seems Progfressor even had photos of a guy eating a Bible while being fellated. Any offensive, blasphemous act you can imagine any religious figure performing is represented in this home. It's clear that while Progfessor was extremely religious--- though not to the Christian / Hebrew god. A well-used shrine to the Three-Pronged Trouser God still smells of fresh incense. What draws the town's attention more, however, is Progfessor's corpse in a corner. Still wearing the habit of a defrocked nun, Progfessor has been brutally bludgeoned to death with Bibles. Just as before, inside each and every Bible, a single verse is highlighted.]

"He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed." Exodus 22:20

[With the death of yet another one among their ranks, the Commune now redoubles its efforts to root out the rest of the poison among it.]

Progfessor Emotion was Bible Thumped. They were Sister Fister - Commune Reformed Evangelicalist

The day has begun. With 20 alive, it takes 11 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

Goals to aspire to!

Ma Ko Wang holds the world record for World's Strongest Penis. In 1995, he lifted 250 pounds two feet off the ground with his cock.

Vote Count #1

Saint (5) - farside22, Oversoul, White Narcissus, Xtoxm, Gorkington
White Narcissus (1) - St. Constantine
Spiffeh (1) - dramonic
Loranthaceae (1) - Spiffeh
ZZZX (1) - Imperium

Not Voting (11) - Anenien, curiouskarmadog, Fresh, Jaqen Hghar, Loranthaceae, masters of fart, Saint, Slobberknocker, TheIrishPope, VoidedMafia, ZZZX

With 20 Alive, it takes 11 to Lynch

Activity Check - Beginning of day reminders, still seeking TIP replacement

Deadline is Monday Sept. 21st, 11:59pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

[The Irish Pope waves to people from inside a shamrock green Popemobile. Unfortunately for him, the Commune focused its fiscal efforts in sexual debauchery rather than infrastructure. He's so busy not doing anything that he drives head-long into a pothole that's... oh, let's say 30 feet deep. As he tries to extract himself from the wreckage, a large group of dickroaches fills the warm, moist hole. They quickly finish their roachy work, ejaculating all over the Popemobile. When finally Irish Pope emerges from the glass dome, he is covered in roach semen. More importantly, he has become an entirely different person. TheIrishPope is no more. Misaka Network is come.]

Misaka Network (FakeGod and Gaiden) replaces TheIrishPope, effective immediately.

Still looking for a replacement for Loracancaeceaheawtfe whatever his name was.

[God of Power Outlets]

Flavor goes here

DrippingGoofball replaces Lora effective immediately

[God of Power Outlets]

Goals to aspire to!
Lisa Sparxxx, pornographic actress, holds the world record for most sexual partners in one day--- at 919.

Vote Count #2

Saint (8) - farside22, Oversoul, White Narcissus, Xtoxm, Gorkington, dramonic, VoidedMafia, Spiffeh
dramonic (1) - DrippingGoofball
St. Constantine (1) - masters of fart
Spiffeh (1) - Jaqen Hghar
White Narcissus (1) - St. Constantine
ZZZX (1) - Imperium


Not Voting (7) - curiouskarmadog, Fresh, Saint, Slobberknocker, Misaka Network, ZZZX, Aneninen

With 20 Alive, it takes 11 to Lynch

Activity Check - Seeking a replacement for curiouskarmadog

Deadline is Monday Sept. 21st, 11:59pm EST


If I've made a mistake, please tell me. Can't have me thinking I can actually do a votecount correctly for the first time in 8 years. -kuribo

[God of Power Outlets]

Goals to aspire to!
Maoni Vi of Cape Town holds the world record for pubic hair length at 28 inches. She also has 32 inch armpit hair. So hot.

Vote Count #3

Saint (9) - farside22, White Narcissus, Xtoxm, VoidedMafia, Spiffeh, Slobberknocker, Misaka Network, Jaqen Hghar, dramonic
White Narcissus (4) - St. Constantine, Gorkington, Saint, Oversoul
dramonic (1) - DrippingGoofball
Fresh (1) - masters of fart
ZZZX (1) - Imperium


Not Voting (5) - curiouskarmadog, Fresh, ZZZX, Aneninen

With 20 Alive, it takes 11 to Lynch

Activity Check - Seeking a replacement for curiouskarmadog

Deadline is Monday Sept. 21st, 11:59pm EST

[God of Power Outlets]

Fixed, thanks <3

[God of Power Outlets]

Goals to aspire to!
In 2009, Masanobu Sato masturbated continuously for 9 hours and 58 minutes. Loser. I could probably double that.

Vote Count #4

Saint (11) - farside22, White Narcissus, Xtoxm, VoidedMafia, Spiffeh, Slobberknocker, Misaka Network, dramonic, Aneninen, masters of fart, Imperium
White Narcissus (5) - St. Constantine, Gorkington, Saint, Oversoul, Jaqen Hghar
dramonic (1) - DrippingGoofball


Not Voting (3) - curiouskarmadog, Fresh, ZZZX

With 20 Alive, it takes 11 to Lynch

Activity Check -

STILL Seeking a replacement for curiouskarmadog

It is now twilight. Anyone but the lynchee may post until I post the flip.

Will post the flip at about midnight EST after I get off from work.

[God of Power Outlets]

[With the sun about to set, television reporter Tara Kockov and her cameraman sneak through the woods toward the Commune.]

"Shhh, quiet," Tara tells her cameraman in a hushed whisper. "If you don't fuck this up, I might even get a Pulitzer for this."

"Uhh, isn't the Pulitzer only for print journalism?" The cameraman asks. "I'm pretty sure you're thinking of the Murrow Award."

"Why do you ruin everything good, Ben? Hmm? Is it your place to just follow me around all day, just shitting on my parades? Can't you just let me dream of winning a Pulitzer?"

"I've read your blog, Ms. Kockov. It's not good. It's not even literature."

"Okay, Ben, I get it."

"No, ma'am, you really don't. The syphilitic escapees of a Central American insane asylum for chimps could write better than you."

"Always with the syphilitic monkeys. Don't you ever let ANYTHING go?!"

"Easy for you to say, Ms. Kockov. You weren't the one that needed a testicle transplant."

[Tara stops abruptly, having reached the edge of the woods. She silently directs her cameraman to film the gallows at the center of town. The Communers are praying to the Trouser Gods. They stand in a circle around one of the members. As they finish their prayer, the circle closes in. They force Saint to the gallows, and within moments his life is over.]

"My god," says Tara with a hushed tone, "They're killing another one. I bet he's someone famous."

[The Communers cut down his body and several of them rush off to his home to find out what sort of sexual kink he's into. They return within a few minutes.]

"According to his journal," announces one of them loudly, "Saint was once a gimp. Apparently though, his gimp suit was stolen from him at some point."

"Shit," whispers Tara, "Just a gimp. There's no story here. Yet. Ben, go pitch a tent."

"We didn't bring a tent, ma'am."

"I hate you more every day, Ben. You realize that, right?"

[The sun goes down. Having sinned once again, the town retires to their homes. Tara Kockov and her cameraman retire to two separate beds of leaves. Tara snores like a dump truck, but Ben doesn't dare mention it. Night has begun.]

Saint - The Gimp - Commune Gimp-turned-Vanilla was lynched.

Night Deadline will almost certainly be extended while we search for a replacement for CKD. We will give 24 hour notice before we stop accepting night actions.

[God of Power Outlets]

Bacde replaces curiouskarmadog.

Everyone now has until 12AM EST September 17 to submit their night actions. .

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is approaching....

Replacement for ZZZX is being sought...

[God of Power Outlets]

[Tara Kockov, failing reporter, wakes up to the sound of sirens. Despite having slept in the dirt, she still looks TV-ready as always. She stands, walks over to Ben the Cameraman, and kicks him sharply in the ribs.]

"Wake up, idiot," she says. "We're missing something."

"Ugh," moans Ben, "I had the most wonderful dream. You were being mauled to death by a bear."

"Yeah yeah," says Tara, "we don't have time for your crap. Let's go see what's going on."

[They run from the woods toward the Commune, where a police helicopter circles overhead. One of the houses has at least ten patrol cars circling it. Obviously there's a story there, but Tara soon notices Commune members surrounding two of the other houses. Figuring she can't get access to the heavily guarded home, she approaches the Communers at Slobberknocker's house.]

"What the hell happened here?" she wonders aloud, "And who do I have to stroke off for a scoop?"

[As if to immediately take her up on her offer, two of the Communers lead her into Slobberknocker's home. Lying facedown, Slobberknocker is quite dead. His assless chaps expose his pasty-pale buttcheeks to the world. Bruises and abrasions cover his body, along with multiple Bibles. Inside each Bible, a single verse is highlighted.]

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." -Matthew 5:27-28

"Jesus. These religious freaks have done it again," says Tara.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," shouts one of the Communers, sticking his head through the door. "Follow me!"

[Tara, the cameraman, and the third Communer run toward Fresh's house, leaving the other two wondering about the handjobs they're owed. Upon reaching Fresh's house, they find a large collection of guns, NRA pamphlets, Bibles, and most of all--- his emaciated body. Fresh has pretty clearly starved to death. A piece of paper lies next to Fresh's horrific corpse.]

"Congressional Order #56621- The Defunding of Fresh, passed 435-0. An attached rider supporting the building of a bridge in Wakashaw, Oregon also passes."

"This is insane," says Tara, "Does Congress even have that authority? Ben, start the camera."

"Wait!" shouts a voice nearby.

[Tara turns around to find a police officer with his pants unbuttoned.]

"I can get you inside the crime scene over at White Narcissus' house," says the cop. "All you gotta do is give me a handy."

"Really? Okay, fine," Tara says. "I only have so many hands. Ben, you're gonna have to help out."

"Dammit, Ms. Kockov," Ben replies, "the Union said you're not allowed to make me give handjobs anymore."

"To hell with the Union, do you want to get paid or not?"

[Ben the Cameraman begrudgingly agrees. The police officer leads Tara, Ben, and the three people who are already owed handjobs to White Narcissus' house. Police are carting away boxes, as well as excavating the crawl space under the house. Police IT experts are carrying out computers.]

"What we've found," says the officer as he strokes his own cock idly, "is possibly one of the most prolific serial killers in history. Preliminary investigation has revealed a number of bodies buried beneath his house, as well as a crazy amount of child pornography. It seems that when the bodies here began to pile up, he started using the Deep Web to have others do his killing for him. He also apparently dug up numerous bodies so that he could have sexual relations with them. This was a sick, sick man."

"How did he die?" asks Tara.

"Natural causes," says the officer, his hand gliding up and down his average-sized shaft, "Well, natural in the sense that it's only natural to bleed to death after being shot 143 times."

"Jesus," says Tara, "Okay, Ben, start rolling, we got news to report."

"Not so fast," says one of the Communers, "I believe we were promised hand relief?"

"Oh, fine," says Tara.

[Tara Kockov begins stroking the first two Communers with her right and left hands. She uses her third hand to jerk off the third Communer. She then nods to Ben who reluctantly takes over masturbating the police officer. Three are dead, and day has dawned in the Commune.]

Slobberknocker- Wally the Window-Peeper - Wrong Place at Wrong Time Commune Guy

was Bible Thumped.

Fresh- Brian Austin - Pruddite Vigilante Neighbor

was Defunded.

White Narcissus- Willy-Wonka Manson - Serial Killing Factional Redirecting Gravedigging Child Pornography Distributor

was gunned down.

Day has begun. Still seeking replacement for ZZZX.

With 16 alive, it takes 9 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

The colors of the flips are correct.

[God of Power Outlets]

Salacious Celebrity Stories:
The entire World Championship Wrestling roster was barred forever from a certain hotel back in the 90s. The main cause for this was an incredibly drunk / coked up group consisting of Raven, Perry Saturn, Billy Kidman, and a hooker they had picked up. As the story goes, the three wrestlers set up a Slip-n-Slide in the hallway of the hotel. They sat the hooker spread-eagle at one end, then took turns sliding a naked Kidman full-speed headfirst toward her privates--- while he was wearing a dildo on his head. Management was not amused.

Vote Count #1

Imperium (6)- Xtoxm, Spiffeh, dramonic, Voidedmafia farside22, Bacde
dramonic (1)- Jaqen Hghar

With 16 Alive, it takes 9 to Lynch

Activity Check -

STILL Seeking a replacement for ZZZX

I suck at votecounts, please point out mistakes, etc etc

[God of Power Outlets]

Salacious Celebrity Stories!
Ricky Martin confessed a few years ago to enjoying golden showers. Which reminds me, R Kelly's sex tape from the 90s involved him urinating on a 14 year old girl. Lady Gaga was once interviewed while pissing through her fishnet stockings. Basically, if you ever have a chance to fuck a celebrity, they will pee on you.

Vote Count #2

Xtoxm (5)- Gorkington, Farside22, Voidedmafia, Spiffeh, St. Constantine the Hermit
Bacde (2)- Oversoul, DrippingGoofball
Imperium (3)- Xtoxm, dramonic, Bacde
DrippingGoofball (1)- Jaqen Hghar
ZZZX (1)- Imperium
St. Constantine the Hermit (1) - masters of fart

With 16 Alive, it takes 9 to Lynch

Activity Check -

STILL Seeking a replacement for ZZZX. No other prods needed.

[God of Power Outlets]

Warped replaces ZZZX, effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #3

Bacde (9)- Oversoul, DrippingGoofball, Imperium, Xtoxm, Spiffeh, Misake Network, Voidedmafia, Anenien, dramonic
Xtoxm (3)- Gorkington, Farside22, St. Constantine the Hermit
Imperium (1)- Bacde
DrippingGoofball (1)- Jaqen Hghar
St. Constantine the Hermit (1) - masters of fart

With 16 Alive, it takes 9 to Lynch

[After a fair amount of discussion, the Commune quickly turns against Bacde.]

"There's no way this motherfucker's one of us," says a member of the lynch mob.

[Bacde fights back and protests, but the citizens quickly overwhelm him, stringing him up from the nearby tree. His body convulses and he moves no more. Intrepid reporter Tara Kockov runs to the scene for her scoop, following the citizens who are already ransacking Bacde's home.]

"We're about to find out the identity of the latest fatality within the Commune. The citizens here knew him as Bacde, but as we've seen, these pseudonyms are often a way for them to anonymously engage in their sexual fetishes."

[One of the Communers leaves Bacde's house, looking downtrodden.]

"Unbelievable," says the random citizen. "This guy... he wasn't into anything, really. There's not a single sex toy, not nary a tube of ass lube or electric nipple clamp. All he has is thirty pamphlets about the missionary position. And some handbooks on identifying the sexual fetishes of others. Oh, and this."

[The citizen tosses a badge to the ground. Although he had no sexual kinks of his own, Bacde had been working 85 hours a week to protect the Commune, and would have continued to do so. You know... had they not murdered him.]

"I'm in shock," says Tara Kockov, "A football hall-of-famer, a Presidential candidate, a doctor, and now an officer of the law... The body count continues to climb higher here at the Free Love Commune, and with today's death, renewed media coverage is bound to occur. I'm Tara Kockov, reminding you... #PoliceLivesMatter."

Bacde - Officer Grant - Commune Vanilla Cop has been lynched.

It is now Night 4. All players have 48 hours from the time of this post to submit night actions.

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is approaching.

[God of Power Outlets]

(I'll put flavor in here later this evening but I'm out of town this weekend and I wanna get the thread open before my phone dies -kuribo)

Everyone has survived the night.

With 15 alive, it takes 8 to lynch

[God of Power Outlets]

Sex History Lesson 101:
* The word “sex” was coined in 1382.
* The first striptease dance was performed in Paris, France on March 13, 1894.
* The first issue of Playboy, in 1953, which sold for a mere fifty cents, was never dated, because Hugh Hefner assumed he’d never publish another.

Vote Count #1

Xtoxm (5) - Gorkington, DrippingGoofball, Voidedmafia, Misaka Network, farside22
Voidedmafia (2) - masters of fart, St. Constantine the Hermit
dramonic (1) - Jaqen Hghar
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

[God of Power Outlets]

Sex History Lesson 101:
* The Greek named the clitoris. The word means "divine and goddess like."
* In 1850 BC, birth control for women meant mixing crocodile and honey, then placing that in your vagina to prevent pregnancy. Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.
* President Johnson used to refer to his dong as "Jumbo." Jumbo Johnson.

Vote Count #2

Xtoxm (5) - Voidedmafia, farside22, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network
Voidedmafia (2) - masters of fart, St. Constantine the Hermit
Imperium (2) - Warped, Gorkington
dramonic (1) - Jaqen Hghar
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

[God of Power Outlets]

Sex History Lesson 101:
* In 1609, a doctor named Johannes Jacob Wecker reported finding a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, about 100 cases have been reported. Including that guy on reddit.
* Catherine the Great owned a sex salon with special furniture.
* Mozart once wrote a song called "Lick me in the Ass."

Vote Count #3

Xtoxm (6) - Voidedmafia, farside22, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network, Xtoxm
Imperium (3) - Warped, Gorkington, Jaqen Hghar
Voidedmafia (2) - masters of fart, St. Constantine the Hermit
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #4

Xtoxm (6) - Voidedmafia, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network, masters of fart, Jaqen Hghar
Imperium (2) Warped, Gorkington
Voidedmafia (1) - St. Constantine the Hermit
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic
Anemiem- (1) farside22
DrippingGoofball (1) - Xtoxm

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

[/quote]

Prodding: Gorkington and Oversoul

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #4

Xtoxm (5) - Voidedmafia, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network, masters of fart
Imperium (3) - Warped, Gorkington, Jaqen Hghar
Voidedmafia (1) - St. Constantine the Hermit
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic
Anemiem- (1) farside22
DrippingGoofball (1) - Xtoxm

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

Prodding: Gorkington and Oversoul

So...Warped took my vote somehow?[/quote]

Fixed, thanks

[God of Power Outlets]

Mod, can you prod or replace Oversoul? He hasn't posted for 9 days, 17 hours. And Farside, DGB, Dramonic, and MoF.

Oversoul was prodded as of the last vote count. MoF is not in prod range, having posted out-of-hydra within that time. (please don't do that) Dramonic, DrippingGoofball, and Imperium are being prodded.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #5

Xtoxm (6) - Voidedmafia, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network, masters of fart, Gorkington
Imperium (2) Warped, Jaqen Hghar
Voidedmafia (1) - St. Constantine the Hermit
Jaqen Hghar (1) - dramonic
Anemiem- (1) farside22
DrippingGoofball (1) - Xtoxm

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

Oversoul has not picked up his prod and will be replaced.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count Final

Xtoxm (8) - Voidedmafia, Spiffeh, DrippingGoofball, Misaka Network, masters of fart, Gorkington, dramonic, Jaqen Hghar

Imperium (1) - Warped
Voidedmafia (1) - St. Constantine the Hermit
Anemiem (1) - farside22
DrippingGoofball (1) - Xtoxm

Not Voting (3) - Anenien, Imperium, Oversoul

With 15 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

It is now Twilight

[God of Power Outlets]

[With the Commune still reeling from a string of confusion and outside protesters, the need to find the infiltrating forces becomes greater than ever. Seemingly endless, their arguments finally place accusation squarely upon Xtoxm. He argues slightly, then mutters, stepping to the gallows. With one last, "fuck you," he pulls down his pants and moons the Commune before they hang him. His body spasms, then is still. The Communers high-five one another, confident that another of the unrighteous has met his end. Xtoxm's phone in his pocket begins to vibrate, and one of the Communers grabs it, hoping it will implicate Xtoxm's friends. They read through his text messages, which are in part, as follows:]


JOEYSTROKES: d00d, this shit is so hawt

12LongDong: OMG man this hidden cam action is sexy

Cosby1405: Is she asleep? ohhhhh fuck i got my pudding pop out

[On and on. They also find hours upon hours of video footage. Footage of other Communers sleeping, talking, eating, and even engaged in various kinks. And millions of dollars in non-traceable ButtCoins. Xtoxm obviously ran one of the most successful voyeur websites on the entire internet. With the sun setting and Xtoxm now dead, the site was returning a 404 Error. The Commune retires to their beds, hoping that the dozens of loyal internet perverts don't find their way here. That's possible, right? RIGHT?]

Xtoxm - Voyeurhotsex.com - Commune 3-Shot Stalker of All Trades was lynched.

It is now Night 5. You have 48 hours to PM your night actions to the mod.

[God of Power Outlets]

[The sun rises yet again. The protesters from yesterday have been joined now by another group of protesters.]

"Bring back the porn," one shouts.

"I have a right to watch upskirt cam videos," shouts another.

[VoyuerHotSex.com apparently had a large client base. Beset by reporters and protesters, the town needs more than ever to flush out the evil remnants of its society. It was a simpler time before these infiltrators came along. Less murder and mayhem, less arguing.]

[Somewhere on the commune, Tara Kockov awakens with a dick in each hand. It doesn't much matter whose, does it? She rolls out of bed, looking for her long-suffering cameraman, and also finds him with a cock in each hand. Both are his. She does a double take, then shrugs it off and begins her day as the Communers leave their homes as well.]

Everyone has survived the night.

With 14 alive, it takes 8 to lynch.

STILL seeking replacement for Oversoul

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #1 and Also Final

Imperium (8) - masters of fart, dramonic, Spiffeh, Warped, Voidedmafia, St. Constantine the Hermit, Gorkington, farside22

Voidedmafia (2) - DrippingGoofball, Jaqen Hghar

Not Voting (4) - Anenien, Imperium, Misaka Network, Oversoul

With 14 Alive, it takes 8 to Lynch

Activity Check - Start of day reminders going out...still seeking Oversoul replacement

Twilight Has Begun...will extend until all players (sans Oversoul) check in

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote count corrected. We are now in an extended Twilight until all players (sans Oversoul) check in.

[God of Power Outlets]

Thanks, your well endowed Trouser Gods are actually on top of things though.

[God of Power Outlets]

[The folks of the Commune barely had the sleep out of their eyes before they decided that Imperium had to die. With very little protest, they drag Imperium out of bed, toss a noose around the two-headed person's necks, and string it up from the gallows. Hell of a way to wake up in the morning, at the end of a rope. As the body spasms, a ray of light shines down upon the corpse from above.]

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me," says one of the Trouser Gods.

"Uhhhh. That's been done before, I think the other guy has that copyrighted," says one of the others.

"Ugh, geez," says the first, "You guys never let me have any fun."

[The Trouser Gods bicker amongst themselves for a moment before retracting their beam of light. One of the Communers comes running out of Imperium's home, carrying a stack of Bibles and pamphlets. The pamphlets have names like, "Spreading the Good News," "101 Rainy Day Jesus Parables," and "Killing the Heathens- Last resort or cure for boredom?"]

Imperium - Brother Censorship - Pruddite Missionary has been lynched.

Still trying to replace Oversoul. Night will last 48 hours.

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is Approaching

Also SB replaces Oversoul, effective immediately. Day will start once SB has confirmed to us.

[God of Power Outlets]

[With yesterday's killing of prominent missionary, Brother Censorship, the Trouser Gods smile upon the Commune. Dawn breaks, and once again the Communers roll themselves out of last night's sticky fluids. Tara Kockov is busily moisturizing her hands for another day of respectable journalism. As she finishes doing her hair in preparation for the next newscast, there's a knock on the door of her motel room. Answering the door, she finds an unassuming older gentleman.]

"Hi, Mrs. Kockov," says the gentleman caller. "I'm Dr. Thaddeus Funkroy. I'm the medical examiner here in Sybian County. Last night, I awoke from a dream where a voice from above told me to autopsy the body of Imperium and bring the results to you."

"Hmm," says Tara, "It says here that he was a Missionary tasked with printing fliers."

"Nasty piece of work, that one," says Dr. Funkroy. "Anyway, I do believe I should be paid for my work."

[Tara sighs, grabs a bottle of hand lotion and invites the Coroner into her hotel room. With a big grin, he closes the door behind himself.]

[Meanwhile, right down the road, two more bodies have been found. Some of the Communers are at farside22's house. There, they've found her extensive sex dungeon. Mistress Drusilla, as most of them had known her, was well-known for keeping people snug and safe from harm between her once-bountiful bosoms... but also chained up in her dungeon. As the tax repomen begin dismantling her dungeon, the Commune can't help but note her emaciated corpse.]

[The other half of the Communers are a few doors down. Misaka Network was never the most vocal person in the Commune and it immediately becomes apparent why. As a barely-legal lad of 18, Misaka--- or, Bobby as he was known to them--- was still a virgin. He never felt confident enough in his body to partake in the earthly delights. And now that he's presently mouldering under a stack of Holy Bibles, he'll probably be a virgin forever. Ewww, did I just type that a dead guy would "probably" stay a virgin? WTF is wrong with me, this flavor is getting dark. Ecch, this isn't marketable, and I should probably delete these last few lines but, ugh, the backspace key is way up there and... Anyway, in each Bible, a passage is highlighted.]

Genesis 9:7 "Go forth, and multiply."

farside22 - Mistress Drusilla - Commune Madam Jailkeeper

- was Defunded Night 6

Misaka Network - Bobby the 18-year-old Virgin - Commune Vanilla Townie

- was Bible thumped Night 6

The Coroner has fully investigated Imperium. He was a member of the Puritan Luddites Mafia Family, was a Pruddite Missionary, and sent messages in the form of pamphlets to other members of the Commune with a message from God...though Imperium could obviously make them say whatever.

Day 7 has begun. With 11 alive, it takes 6 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count Final

Voidedmafia (6) - Warped, dramonic, St. Constantine the Hermit, Spiffeh, Gorkington, Jaqen Hghar

Not Voting (5) - Anenien, DrippingGoofball, masters of fart, Oversoul, Voidedmafia

With 11 Alive, it takes 6 to Lynch

Activity Check - Anenien being replaced

We have reached Twilight...

[God of Power Outlets]

"Wait! You can't do this to me," shouts Voidedmafia over the dull murmur of a murderous Commune. "You'll be sorry!"

[The Communers string him to the gallows as Voided pleads for his life.]

"You don't know what you're doing," he says. "You'll bring down a plague upon this town! I love you all!"

[The member at the control for the trap door hesitates.]

"I love you, Commune... I love your sweet tax dollars! YOU FILTHY PIGS. THE TIME FOR TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS IS NOW! Ha ha haha ha ha ha"

[The trap door beneath his feet gives way, and Voidedmafia continues cackling, muttering ancient GOP curses, even until his dying breath.
The town is relieved, but before they can learn his true identity, the gates of hell open beneath his feet. A booming voice from the beyond
breaks the eerie silence.]

"Well," says the voice.


[The familiar voice.]

"Well," the voice repeats.

[The voice of Voidedmafia's own dark god.]

"Well," says the voice once more, as a thirty-foot-tall Ronald Reagan emerges from hell. "It's morning in America, and I'm here to take this Commune's government
with me."

[He begins his work of slashing funding for essential Commune functions. The Electric Company... gone. The Water Works... gone. The Boardwalk... gone. St. James Place... Gone.]

"The only good government is a dead government," Reagan shouts. "BEHOLD as I trickle down seven plagues!"

[Before he can begin, the clouds split with the sound of a sexy trumpet. The three-headed Three-Pronged Trouser God, in all its majestic and naked glory stands before The Dark Lord
Ronald Reagan.]

"What I'd like to have right now," begins one of the heads, addressing Reagan, "Is for all you fat, out-of-shape, Long-dead legislators... keep the noise down
while I show this Commune what a real god looks like."

[The Trouser God undulates their hips suggestively in a show of Mary Sue hubris before tackling Reagan. Pinning Reagan to the ground, the Trouser God explains basic economics to Reagan, who shrivels and dies from a terminal case of logic. The Trouser God stands victorious.]

"My children," says the Trouser God, "Blessed and fertile may you all be. Continue to do my work, and I shall continue to smite thy enemies. For on this day..."

[The Trouser God is interrupted as the gates of hell once again split open, and a host of dead Republicans and evangelicals come pouring forth from its blackened maw.
The Trouser God is soon overwhelmed, becoming flaccid as he's attacked simulataneously by Richard Nixon, William Tyndale, William F. Buckley, and John Wesley. As they drag the Trouser God off into the night, T-Bone can be heard shouting.]

"My children! You must overcome the Pruddites and the Repudickans! It's the only way! The only way!"

[Night has fallen. The hosts of hell, whether evangelical or Congressional now walk the earth. Tara Kockov watches in horror, realizing that this Commune of perverts is now earth's only hope--- if they don't succeed, the world will be overrun with repression. She knows, one way or another, she has to be the one to tell the story.]

Voidedmafia - Congressman Scott Walker-Texas Cruz - Repudickans 2-shot Nofun-Vanillaizer

was lynched.
Night 7 has begun. You have 48 hours to submit any night actions.

[God of Power Outlets]

Dawn is Approaching

Also Shos replaces Masters of Fart, effective immediately.

[God of Power Outlets]

[Dawn breaks. The members of the Commune come out of their homes to find utter carnage and confusion. The ghosts of dead extremists and legislators are battling out with the Heavenly Host of deceased porn stars and prostitutes. An angel in a full-on gimp suit is sword-fighting with Andrew Breitbart. Nearby, another naked angel with five dicks is fist-fighting against Fred Phelps. A scream is heard nearby at Constantine's house. Someone has discovered his corpse, naked and surrounded by crystal meth. There is no question about it, this man has overdosed.]

"All those meth-fueled nights... such a waste," says Tara Kockov, washing her hands quickly.

[Yet another shriek pierces the sound of battle. This time, shos is the victim. While still bonded to SB the Living Sex Chair, shos has been pummeled to death with Bibles. A verse has been highlighted in each of them:]

"And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” - Mark 2:17

[SB weeps openly, shos' mouldering corpse still attached to him. The town reaches for a crowbar to separate the two, but SB presents a revolver instead. Um. With arms that he grew. I mean, chairs have arms. Anyway, it's not a plot hole it's a feature okay.]

"My... my dear, sweet shos... I can't go on without you! Goodnight, sweet prince!"

[Before anyone can grab the gun, shos shoots himself in the head... rest. The headrest. Fluffing and stuff fly out of it, SB now very dead. My god, will the carnage never stop in this town? No, no it won't, because someone is bulldozing dramonic's house. Dramonic runs over to the bulldozer operator to stop him.

"What the fuck?!" shouts dramonic.

"Sorry, bub," he says, "Can't stop now. I've got in my hand Congressional Order #136767--- The Defunding of dramonic and the expansion of military operations against Heaven."

[As the bulldozer topples the house, a stack of Bibles fall out of it Unlike the other Bibles, there are no verses highlighted in these. He blushes, then looks around nervously. They were obviously dramonic's own family Bibles. Dramonic... a Pruddite?! The town turns to him for explanation, but before he can answer, dramonic drops dead of starvation. Day has begun. Carnage is everywhere.]

St. Constantine the Hermit - Bruno Knight - Commune X-Shot Meth Addicted Lucid Dreamer

has overdosed on crystal meth.

shos - Dr. Alpha - Commune Macho Doctor

was Bible thumped

SB - The Chair - Commune Furniture Bondage Enthusiast

was bonded to shos and committed suicide.

dramonic - Nosy Nancy Goodwife - Pruddite 2-Shot Meddler

was defunded.

Day 8 has begun. With 6 alive, it takes 4 to lynch.

edit: it's day 8, not 9

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count #1

Anenien (1) - Spiffeh

Not Voting (5) - Anenien, DrippingGoofball, Gorkington, Jaqen Hghar, Warped

With 6 Alive, it Takes 4 to Lynch

Deadline is Saturday November 7th, 11:59pm EST

Activity Check - All good

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count Final

Anenien (4) - Spiffeh, Warped, DrippingGoofball, Gorkington

Warped (2) - Jaqen Hghar, Anenien

Not Voting (0)

With 6 Alive, it Takes 4 to Lynch

Anenien has been lynched....we are now in Twilight

[God of Power Outlets]

[As the battle rages around the Commune, the loyal perverts know the only way to end the carnage and bring peace is to offer another sacrifice. With time running out, they grab Aneninen and drag him to the town square.]

"No!" shouts Aneninen, "You're making a mistake! I'm an officer of the law!"

[They slam him down roughly, and not the way he likes. One of the Communers takes a ceremonial sword, quickly beheading Aneninen after a prayer to the Trouser Gods. His blood touches the ground... and nothing happens.]

"What the..." says one of the bloodthirsty mob. "This should have ended it!"

[Nearby, a twenty-foot tall porn angel is getting torn to shreds by the undead Republicans and Evangelicals. Thunder and lightning rip the sky as the clouds turn dark. The spectral face of George W. Bush looms over the town. The Disembodied Dubya begins laughing maniacally while the wind picks up.]

"How the fuck is this possible?" shouts Tara Kockov, her voice cracking from the dry heat of hellfire. "He's not even dead yet!"

"REALLY," shouts her cameraman, his two cocks now battling one another to the death in his pants. "THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINES OF DISBELIEF IN THIS STORY?"

[The Commune grabs the Aneninen's body, stripping him down to learn his identity. They're dismayed to find chiseled hard abs and a badge.]

"A cop?!" Tara asks the Communers. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Get your shit together, I don't wanna die!"

"Does this mean there are going to be more protesters?" asks the Communer.

"Look around, does it LOOK like any protesters are getting in here?"

[Sure enough, left and right the earth and sky are being torn asunder, attacked by the forces of Erotic Hell from two different camps. This is a battle the Commune and the Trouser Gods are losing. And with night falling, they don't have time to kill anyone else.]

"Get to your houses before night comes," shouts Tara over the rising wind and heat. "I'll see what I can do tonight."

[With the carnage surrounding them, the Commune tries to get some sleep and the flavor-monkey tries to incorporate this stuff into his NaNo word count.]

Anenien - Officer Hardbody - Commune Macho Cop

has been lynched.
It is now Night 8. You now have 48 hours to submit your night actions.

[God of Power Outlets]

#DawnisApproaching

[God of Power Outlets]

[Have you ever tried sleeping while the forces of Heaven and Hell battle one another outside your home? That was how the people of the Free Love Commune spent their night. As the Communers stumble from their homes, Tara Kockov has been busy holding the Disembodied Dubya at bay by debating him.]

"Where were the weapons of mass destruction?!" she shouts, as best she can in her exhausted state. "It was all a revenge mission, wasn't it?!"

"Who cares?" the voice of the Disembodied Dubya booms, "The mission was accomplished! AMERICA! USA! USA! USA!"

[This has been going on for several hours, Kockov asking Disembodied Dubya the hard questions and him responding with nationalistic gibberish. A Strom Thurmond Demon runs behind her and almost beheads her, but it's tackled by the ghost of midget porn star Percy Foster. Ghost Foster uses his powers to command badgers to attack Strom Thurmond.]

"Your methods are more outdated than a caveman corpse, you donkey!" shouts Ghost Foster. "Haven't you ever made a proper risotto before? You're useless, you fuck!"

[Tara Kockov's logical arguments seem to be weakening Disembodied Dubya. Needing to regain his strength, he turns to Spiffeh. Spiffeh is frail and hungry, and his web domain was seized last night in a Congressional motion. Without the sustenance of the government teat, he is rapidly starving to death. He collapses, very deceased. As the Commune attempts to retrieve his body, the Disembodied Dubya fires a beam of light from its eyes. The tractor beam draws Spiffeh's body into the sky, where it is eaten by Dubya.]

"Hahahahaha," laughs Disembodied Dubya, "Your paranoia only makes me stronger! Now, let's talk about another PATRIOT Act!"

"But how will we know who he was?!" shouts one of the Communers.

"I know that man," replies Ben the Two Dicked Cameraguy. "He used to post on the message boards as SeXFiLEs3769! He ran a website about how the Anal Aliens were coming to get us!"

"Anal Aliens? Republican demons, Trouser Gods," says Tara Kockov, "If we survive, I'm gonna win a Pulitzer for sure!"

"Again, that's only for---"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BEN!" Tara turns her attention to the Communers. "There's four of you left. Figure out how to stop this so I can go the hell home and get my award!"

Spiffeh - SeXFiLEs3769 - Commune Conspiracy Theorist was defunded

It is now Day 9. With 4 alive, it takes 3 to lynch.

[God of Power Outlets]

Vote Count Final

Jaqen Hghar (3) - Warped, Gorkington, DrippingGoofball

Gorkington (1) - Jaqen Hghar

Not Voting (0)

With 4 alive, it takes 3 to Lynch

We are now entering Twilight

[God of Power Outlets]

[The four communers stand at the town square. Intrepid reporter Tara Kockov and her handy cameraman Ben are documenting the events.]

"You guys don't have to do this today," shouts Tara over the roar of hellfire and wind. The screeches of the damned souls battling one another threatens to drown her out. "You can spare everyone today!"

"No," shouts Warped, trying not to be distracted by the Cock Dragon that's fighting Sarah Palin who rides in a giant mech suit. "This ends now!"

"We've decided," says

Lady Serene

, DrippingGoofball, "It was always Jaqen!"

"No!" Screams Jaqen, "It's Warped! Wait, it's Goofball! Wait, no, it's Gorkington!"

"Enough," says Gorkington. "It's now or never!"

[They hand DrippingGoofball a ceremonial sword. It faintly radiates with the dim power that remains of the Trouser Gods. Perverted runes are etched along the blade. With two other Communers asserting their assent, DGB casts the final vote by beheading Jaqen Hgahar. His body slumps to the ground, blood spilling upon it. For but a moment, the war within the Commune stops. The raging wind of hellfire cease and complete silence gives way.]

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH WHAT A RUUUUUUUUUUUSH!"

[The voice booms from the Heavens. The Three-Pronged Trouser God descends from the heavens, white and pink light radiating from its throbbing manhood. The attacking Republicans and Evangelicals burn to ash when the light touches them. Disembodied Dubya evaporates into nothingness, melting away into the clouds.]

Jaqen Hghar - Jim Austin - Repudickans Vigilante Neighbor

has been lynched

"Thank you, my children," says the Three-Pronged Trouser God, addressing the three survivors of the Commune. "Though there have been many sacrifices, you have returned me to power in this holy place. For serving me faithfully, I grant you gifts of pleasure.

DrippingGoofball, aka Denise the Dom. I grant you perfect memory. May you always and forever know your safewords.

Gorkington, or Viola Vale, last of the Great Vale line. I grant you fertility. You shall lead a new generation of WereDickWolf seers. May you defend mankind's dicks.

Warped, Agent Aardvark... You sacrificed your career in the name of protecting your way of life. I grant that your fursuit will never need cleaning, and its strategically placed holes shall always give you pleasure."

[Tara Kockov looks up to the skies]

"What about me?" she says.

"Tara Kockov," says the Trouser Gods, "You were following me all along in your heart. I grant you the gift of knowledge. Through your firm, but soft hands, you may gain insight into anyone's dick secrets."

[She bows in gratitude as the Trouser Gods address Cameraman Ben.]

"Benjamin Dover," says the Trouser Gods, "For your services to my Free Love Commune, I grant you the gift of power. And a task. Several congressional seats are now open thanks to the events of today. It is my will that you shall take one of them, and defend me against my political enemies."

"Oh. Great. Just what I always wanted," says Ben, not convincingly.

"And now, my children. Go forth and be fruitful! Multiply, that the Free Love Commune may once again return to its glory of orgies and decadence!"

[With that, the orgy begins. Somewhere, light years away, in a small metal spaceship, two dong-shaped extraterrestrials discuss the outcome of these events.]

"So," says one of them, "The only human that knew of our existence is now dead."

"Yes," says the other, "And now nothing can stop us from taking over the world."

"We must bide our time, for the Trouser Gods are too strong right now. But soon, very soon the time will be right."

[The two aliens laugh with one another. Back on Earth, the orgy is in full force. The Trouser Gods are radiating erotic energy to everyone. Our story comes to a happy conclusion, and all is well in the Free Love Commune. But for how long?]

DrippingGoofball - Denise the Dom - Commune One-Way Neighbor

Survived

Warped- Agent Aardvark - Commune Corrupt FBI Agent

Survived

Gorkington - Viola Vale - Commune Dick Seeing Seer

Survived

TOWN WINS!

[God of Power Outlets]

Repubdickans: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.php?f=90&t=62984

Pruddites: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.php?f=90&t=62983

Vigilantes: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.php?f=90&t=62986

One-Way Neighbors: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.php?f=90&t=62985