oh, how the mighty have fallen

[Zulfy]

this is a zulfy thread wtf

This thread is rotten.

Mutually exclusive.
That apple looks like DRK.
Apples are basically muffins in this life

[Zulfy]

It's only happened once CoolDog

[Zulfy]

Okay I can't handle this

[Zulfy]

Alright it's become apparent that since some of us don't know the proper apple consumption procedures I'll have do like Prometheus and share my ancient knowledge.

Observe:

Spoiler: First we obtain the apple, firmly grasp this apple in one hand

I recommend holding it from the top and bottom ends but this is not required.

Spoiler: Begin by biting around the bottom. The vertex of the apple will serve as leverage so as to help produce a clean cut from your bites

Spoiler: Systematically make your way around the apple, doing your best to avoid the core for now

Spoiler: Once the core is exposed, bite into that fucker with one decisive incision, make sure to not chew the seeds are they can have a rather bitter flavor that distracts from the apple's natural sweetness

Remember to align the apple core with your mouth

before

biting into it so as to not injure yourself.

The rest is pretty straightforward. Gnaw at what's left,

making absolutely certain you avoid biting the sticker

, nibble around it until it's all you have left.

Spoiler: This is all you should have left once you've finished

Notice how clean my hands remain. Now that's what I call a properly eaten apple!

Lastly, make sure to dispose of the sticker as that is not something you want to be accidentally picking up and eating absentmindedly at a later time.

Spoiler: I myself decided to set it next to my desk for now

[Zulfy]

Blasphemy

[Zulfy]

How dare anyone question my methods

[Zulfy]

Slice your apples

Put them in tub

Lime it up

Two teaspoons salt