Survivor: League of Legends (GAME OVER)

[BROseidon]

Ayyyy this is open.

Also MORN5? Seriously?

[BROseidon]

Eh, it exists.

It means "This person was there ALL THE TIME but never gave thoughts on anything"

[BROseidon]

When does Elo come out. I want to no longer have the worst Elo!

[BROseidon]

Ayyyyyy no longer completely in the gutter.

[BROseidon]

Also, to address something from the Skype spec thread now that I've calmed down from how much everyone actually hated me this game:

i kind of hope bro figures out that a lot of the reason he didn't win this game was his own play. it's not that he played terribly, but it's coming across as arrogance and I'm not seeing justification for it. Esp. that OTTN ending, snakes is right, had he not done that it would have been easier (though maybe it still wouldn't have happened) to flip.

like I guess its hard to take someone seriously who's like "they lied to me so they don't deserve my vote" as an expert of survivor, it's what you signed up for. I understand the emotional part of it and he's free to do whatever he wants with his vote

for me I think he just kinds of comes off as arrogant, and it's just like...who are you, you're new here, I don't think Jarvan played as well as I'm sure you think he did and I don't know what you're going to think when you see how people thought you did. I mean, kudos for making it to merge and not being a goat and such, you were clearly here and important at times but...

1) Not specifically trying to call out Fen here, Fen was just articulating what a lot of people seemed to feel about me this game, and he put things in the most clarity so I actually have the ability to respond.

2) Yeah, I'm aware that I lost because of my own play. I'm the last fucking person who will ever say that someone's loss in a Survivor game wasn't their own fault. One of the things I take pride on about myself is that I will always take ownership of my actions, and, more importantly, my mistakes. The insinuation otherwise stings.

3) What you saw in my boot round wasn't arrogance. It was anger. I knew I was acting against my rational interests, and I didn't care, because Ori and Gnar lied to me to my face with a really, really shitty lie, got called on it, and then acted

offended

that I dare call them out for blatantly lying to my face with a super obviously terrible lie. It felt like they'd both written me off and that they both thought that I was a complete idiot (which was additionally angering b/c I knew Gnar ID'd me a few days in). If they'd just owned up to trying to blindside me the previous round, it would have been possible to have repaired that bridge and make something happen that round. As I said, I take pride in taking ownership of one's actions - Ori and Gnar not taking ownership and expecting me to believe their peddled bullshit is one of the things that will set me off hardest.

4) It's not "they lied to me so they don't deserve my vote." It's about how you lie to someone to put them there. It's about how much you open up. It's about how forthright you are about the fact that you're going to be manipulative. It's about how you take ownership of your actions. In how Ori and Gnar booted me, they showed me no respect. They called me a moron and spat on me as they then put me on the jury. Garen and Lulu, if anything, backstabbed me

more

that round, since they told me they were voting with me and then booted me, but they didn't do it in a way that was a massive "fuck you" to me as a person. Either of them would have had my jury vote over Ori and Gnar, and literally nothing would have changed that.

5) "You're new here" is a pretty shitty argument when you have no idea about my Survivor experience. I played a lot of f2f and online games in college - this has been my 12th game, f2f or online. This also is relatively public knowledge - Skrew ID'd me in #2016 based on me talking about my past Survivor experience, and I talked about it a bit at the meet that I'd done f2f before. It also got directly referenced in that conversation. Of those games, the only two where I didn't make at least jury were BotB and #2016. Of the other 10, I've won 1, and been on the jury 9 times (all 9th-5th place finishes). I've voted for the winner 8/9 times. Yes, Mr. "You lied to me so I'm not voting for you" votes for the winner almost 90% of the time from the jury!

And there's a reason for that. People rationalize about wanting to vote for the person with the most strategy, but, at the end of the day, people vote for the person they're happiest losing to. And if there's a big discrepancy between how much you like the finalists, the vast majority of people are going to vote for the one that they like the most, not the one who played the "best strategic game" when the rubric for what that means is somewhat arbitrary to begin with. Ascribing that to "meta" is also a bit of a cop-out, since it's more along the lines of "people aren't fucking gamebots, we're fundamentally emotional creatures."

Basically - reading through the Skype thread about how much I annoyed everyone hurt. I guess part of it is also how hard I specifically got called out, when nobody else was getting called out for their mistakes nearly as hard. Or at least the call-outs didn't feel like they amounted to "Fuck this person" as much as they did with the ones against me. Idk, maybe I'm being egotistical here, but the attacks broadly felt a bit personal in a way that were unnecessary and kind of hurtful. It cooled off a bit towards the end (thanks, Xof), but by the time it got there, the damage was done.

tl;dr: As a spec, please try to be respectful towards the players. We're all trying our best, and having that met with "this person sucks" really doesn't feel very good. Especially when you're talking about someone that you don't know very well.

[BROseidon]

Yeah. I'm sorry. If I saw what I wrote direct at me, I'd be really upset by it, so I'm not sure why I would say things like that, and if it's any consolation, I do regret my words.

You're new here was the dumbest thing to say. I didn't mean it, and I immediately took back, please don't hold that against me.

Honestly, this isn't really an excuse, but I've been having a shitty time of things lately which makes me more prone to cattiness and negativity. The way you talk reminded me of certain people in my life who have made me feel bad, which made me bothered by your statements, but you don't seem like that type of person. Please know this didn't come out of hatred for you. I think you're a good player and I think you played a decent game, I hope you can forgive me and that this doesn't hurt you much.

It's all good <3

[BROseidon]

Yeah, I definitely said some things I would be hurt having said about me, and I apologize for that. I think a lot of my annoyance came 80% from your overuse of ~iconic~,

This is a schtick. Specs were definitely part of this, too.

and the other 20% was how much you appeared to care about your edgic and how much of a fan favorite you would be rather than your position in the game.

This is a really weird thing to assume. Like, did I really look like I was sitting in confessional all the time talking about my edgic and my ~iconicness~? I spent a metric fuckton of time pming, doing challenges, etc. Especially towards the end, I was barely posting in confessionals.

The issues I had pretty much came with how you carried yourself as a person, and that's probably just a problem I'm always going to have, because there's no reason you should change as a person to make me happy.

Going through life thinking like this is a really good way to make people not like you. If one person articulates something about you that's offputting, odds are other people are thinking it.

You probably don't care what I have to say either, but the fact that you brought up how you've made jury in almost all your games just now brings me to my main problem: it doesn't feel like you have a lot of self-awareness in regards to how you come across. That comment struck me as bragging, when I don't think that's what you intended for it to be.

I'd like to hear if it struck other people this way, and how I could have made the point without it coming across that way. Like, I directly responding to the "he's a newb what does he know" point. I've played a lot of Survivor. My track record is not-terrible. Appealing to authority when you don't know what level of authority someone has is a dick move.

This is probably super unhelpful, and again, I'm sorry for everything I said earlier. If it was me in your position, I would want people to tell me why they felt the way they did, and that's what I tried to do here. I don't mean to offend you with any of this.

It's not unhelpful, and I'm not offended that you're articulating things in a clear manner. I was mostly just upset last night because I had a lot of fun playing this game, and I was hoping that the specs enjoyed my part of the bigger picture of this game, and so it hurt when I read a bunch of "Wow BRO fucking sucks," especially when only 1 person articulated any sort of reasons.

I think for my next game, I'm mostly going to do video/audio confessionals once every day or two.