Mafiascum.net

Congratulations! You are , and, while the mod does like your music well enough, she decided it would be funnier if you were an actual *dead* Kennedy as opposed to a punk rocker. So put away your posters of the penis landscapes and instant Jell-o mix, and start hunting for brains. As one of the zombie remnants of one of America's most well known families, you obviously have a gourmet appetite. You don't have a win condition since you're already dead and dead people can't be president, *but* if you uncover who was behind the conspiracy/cover-up of your death, you get a chance to eat the brains of all the college co-eds you come across ^_^

Mod note: This is only funny when the mod is insanely tired.

You are (or depending on translation) from Berserk. And you are the main character!!! Besides a couple of friends of yours in the game, pretty much everyone is trying to kill you. But, because you're so fucking insanely awesome, just nightkilling or lynching you once or twice won't get the job done. The bad guys win when they attempt to kill you through lynching or abilities 10 times. You and your friends win when everyone else is dead. If (<insert player name>) dies, you lose 2 lives, but get to kill 4 people in a fit of rage. If (or depending on translation) (<insert player name>) dies, you lose 1 life. And to describe your night ability... well, a picture is worth a thousand words...

http://img.bleachexile.com/manga/berser ... 016-17.jpg

You are from Berserk. You used to be a pretty awesome fighter... but then you got raped by a bunch of demons. Sucks to be you I guess. You are pretty much worthless, but your friend Gutts loves you and will try to protect you from the bad guys. Try to survive the demons to win... crazy lady.


You are from Berserk. You follow Gutts around and heal him. Oh yeah, you are a fairy too, so a lot of the people in the game can't hurt you. Besides that you can't really do much... besides annoy people of course. You win by surviving til the end of the game. You might be able to take on some lesser monsters though.......



All other characters except maybe one or two are monsters from the manga and have the win condition of killing Gutts. Most have a conditional one time Night kill (like Gutts has to be voting for them at the end of day, or they have to follow a post restriction to use the kill). Catch is, they are not told who Gutts is.

Basically, the bad guys are the town and the "good" guys are the mafia, except the mafia doesn't have a night kill and has one guy that is freaken impossible to kill. Monster's all think they are alone though .

PS: Japanese manga reads from right to left... in case something doesn't make sense >.>

Ah...that reminds me.

Congratulations! You are , "that shrewd and knavish sprite [...] that frights the maidens of the villagery." You have no regard for law or order and, unless explicitly ordered by Oberon, you will cause good humored confusion and chaos to reign supreme. At any point during the game, as often as you like, day or night, you may switch the rolls of any two players, or cast a spell making any two players lovers. (The lovers spell will only last until your next bit of mischief), however, is a price to pay for all this mischief. You must include in each of your posts some reference to Shakespeare, be it metaphor, quote, or an imitation of style. Additionally, since you *are* a fairy, you suffer the dual curse of your race. First, you must run around in tights, preferably bright colored ones. Second, you will die if people stop believing in fairies. So you must convince someone to type the word clap at least once per page. (You may not reveal that you are a fairy or that your life depends on it.) You are chaos-aligned and win when your lord and master Oberon gets laid, because we all know he's just cranky because he isn't getting any.

Modnote: Oberon can only direct Puck's choices to try and make their effects less severe, but there is only a 50% chance of that working.

which is a nice segway into:

Congratulations! You are . You win when you copulate with a donkey.

You are

You may only post statements that are irrelevant to the conversation at hand. You may only post in caps. You win.

You kill the person who posts after you every post. You win if you're recognized as a highly intelligent blackman who wants to kill whitey.

You also may only post the word "poop"

Bit of meaninglessness...

You are a . Every night, you may PM me the name of one person you would like to know the alignment of. I will respond, saying they are "innocent", regardless of actual alignment. You win with town.

You are . You have nothing to fear but fear itself, and so cannot be lynched. However, if you are night-killed, whoever killed you gains the ability to show up as 'innocent' to any role investigations and a random vanilla townie becomes a miller. Plus, you totally did Marilyn Monroe.

You are . Your nose is browner than the dirt you kneel on to kiss Mrs. Crockpot's feet. You break the curve, win every single gold star for participation and helpfulness, distribute handouts, wipe up the chalkboard, feed the classroom guinea pig, pick up of the toys, and always get the good comments on report cards and in parent-teacher conferences. Life is good, right? Wrong. Here's the dirty little secret: None of your classmates like you at all. Mrs. Crockpot only appears to like you because you basically do her job for her. Unfortunately, you can't afford to slow down. Due to the precdent you have set, you won't fit in with the normal kids anyway, are bound to the ten million duties to which you have volunteered, and you don't want daddy to start beating you again. Throughout the game, any time somebody makes a request -- either to you specifically or in general -- you comply in your next post (if possible) or else you will be modkilled. You also have to toe the line, staying careful not to anger any of the bullies (who will surely beat you up and take your bagged lunch, as healthy and disgusting as it may be). Your win condition is to survive to the end of the game. Don't piss anybody off. Don't let anybody down. Good luck, you obnoxious little bastard.

Peers wrote:You are

JFK

. You have nothing to fear but fear itself

Heh...actually, that was FDR who said that. Close, though.

You are FDR. If the majority of the town votes for you, you won't be lynched, you will instead become president for the next day. You win if you are president for 4 days in a row.

Congratulations! You are and the mod thinks you're a cutie. Unfortunately for you, the government is out to get you and your partners Frohike(X) and Langley(Y), though they haven't found you just yet. Each night, the mod will give you a clue as to who the bad guys are and you may talk amongst yourselves. Be very careful though, because every time you hack into some new information (i.e. the mod sends you a hint), there is a 30% chance of one or all of you being identified by the powers that be. Also, you need to be ever more careful during the day. There are two players who you may not have a hand in lynching, and don't let your partners convince you otherwise, because they have different win conditions than you do. Because the mod thinks you're cute, she'll let you in on a little secret: both of your partners *are* protown, so you don't need to worry about subterfuge. You win when you live in a perfect world where the government isn't corrupt and you're happily married to Susanne Modeski. Oh...and one more thing...you and your partners really need to hurry up with putting down the government conspiracy. There's this evil little ticking timebomb of a virus out there, and if it explodes before all the conspirators are done away with, well, the three of you die. Oh, and by the way, you might want to keep your identity under wraps. With the conspiracy afoot, you never know what harm may come of it.


Mod notes: Byers cannot be on Susanne Modeski or Alex Krycek's bandwagons. If he has a hand in killing Modeski, he commits suicide. If he has a hand in killing Krycek (who is pure awesome, and quite possibly more attractive than Byers), he loses his mason powers and nightly modhelp. In addition to this, The Lone Gunmen are selective millers. They appear as guilty to any investigative role in the game except for Mulder (should Mulder chose to use his investigative powers as opposed to his other powers). If Krycek dies at any of their hands, Byers and his comrades become all become death millers. So claiming masons is a *bad* idea. The virus will go off night 9. I also feel kind of bad writing this role, because Byers deserves a viable win condition (and a hug), but since this *is* the worst role ideas thread, I don't feel compelled to give him one.

Mod note edit: just for kicks (and because he's awesome), in this game, anyone who has a hand in killing Krycek will have bad things happen to them, the degree of badness depending on type of involvement in his death as well as my affinity for the character involved. Example: If CSM nightkills Krycek, he automatically dies. If he is involved in voting for a Krycek lynch, he, unknowingly, will lose mafia powers and become a survivor. He will not be informed of this change, but all of his cohorts will be told that he is kicked out from the mafia, and it is up to them to decide amongst themselves what to do with him. He will not, however, lose his invesigation result as guilty. On the otherhand, if WMM nightkilled Krycek, he would lose all of his godfather privileges. If he was in on the lynch, he would just lose his investigate as innocent status, but not his immunity. It's kind of obvious which government conspirator I prefer ^_^

Yosarian2 wrote:

Peers wrote:You are

JFK

. You have nothing to fear but fear itself

Heh...actually, that was FDR who said that. Close, though.

You are FDR. If the majority of the town votes for you, you won't be lynched, you will instead become president for the next day. You win if you are president for 4 days in a row.

There's a meta-irony to having an FDR quote in a JFK role in Worst Roles Ever. Like having Captain Picard as a role with an Obi-Won Kenobi quote.

You If at any point you are NOT, you have lost.

kuribo wrote:You

are.

If at any point you are NOT, you have lost.

Thats just a survivor PM. Try again next time.

Nah. After he gets killed, he dead. He's not not anything. Ever.

But only if he was ever anything to begin with. It begs the whle existential question of "do you really exist"

Cognito, ergo sum.

Too bad Descartes was insane.

You are a . Your quack won't echo, so nobody may quote you. If anyone does quote you they will be immediately mod-killed.

You are a . I'm having a baby, and it's yours.

Mirth wrote:Congratulations! You are

John Fitzgerald Byers

and the mod thinks you're a cutie. Unfortunately for you, the government is out to get you and your partners Frohike(X) and Langley(Y), though they haven't found you just yet. Each night, the mod will give you a clue as to who the bad guys are and you may talk amongst yourselves. Be very careful though, because every time you hack into some new information (i.e. the mod sends you a hint), there is a 30% chance of one or all of you being identified by the powers that be. Also, you need to be ever more careful during the day. There are two players who you may not have a hand in lynching, and don't let your partners convince you otherwise, because they have different win conditions than you do. Because the mod thinks you're cute, she'll let you in on a little secret: both of your partners *are* protown, so you don't need to worry about subterfuge. You win when you live in a perfect world where the government isn't corrupt and you're happily married to Susanne Modeski. Oh...and one more thing...you and your partners really need to hurry up with putting down the government conspiracy. There's this evil little ticking timebomb of a virus out there, and if it explodes before all the conspirators are done away with, well, the three of you die. Oh, and by the way, you might want to keep your identity under wraps. With the conspiracy afoot, you never know what harm may come of it.


Mod notes: Byers cannot be on Susanne Modeski or Alex Krycek's bandwagons. If he has a hand in killing Modeski, he commits suicide. If he has a hand in killing Krycek (who is pure awesome, and quite possibly more attractive than Byers), he loses his mason powers and nightly modhelp. In addition to this, The Lone Gunmen are selective millers. They appear as guilty to any investigative role in the game except for Mulder (should Mulder chose to use his investigative powers as opposed to his other powers). If Krycek dies at any of their hands, Byers and his comrades become all become death millers. So claiming masons is a *bad* idea. The virus will go off night 9. I also feel kind of bad writing this role, because Byers deserves a viable win condition (and a hug), but since this *is* the worst role ideas thread, I don't feel compelled to give him one.

Mod note edit: just for kicks (and because he's awesome), in this game, anyone who has a hand in killing Krycek will have bad things happen to them, the degree of badness depending on type of involvement in his death as well as my affinity for the character involved. Example: If CSM nightkills Krycek, he automatically dies. If he is involved in voting for a Krycek lynch, he, unknowingly, will lose mafia powers and become a survivor. He will not be informed of this change, but all of his cohorts will be told that he is kicked out from the mafia, and it is up to them to decide amongst themselves what to do with him. He will not, however, lose his invesigation result as guilty. On the otherhand, if WMM nightkilled Krycek, he would lose all of his godfather privileges. If he was in on the lynch, he would just lose his investigate as innocent status, but not his immunity. It's kind of obvious which government conspirator I prefer ^_^

Wow. Wow. Wow. You are my new favorite scummer. If I had a desire to have sex, I would beg you to allow me entry into your vagina immediately. You, madam, are a god among these mortal fools.

AniX wrote: Wow. Wow. Wow. You are my new favorite scummer. If I had a desire to have sex, I would beg you to allow me entry into your vagina immediately. You, madam, are a god among these mortal fools.

...I am not sure whether to slap you with my piggie-ballerina gloves challenging you to a duel such that I may defend my honor through use of my trusty shotgun (or, that being disallowed, finally get my father to cough up that gift of dueling pistols he promised me when I turned old enough to legally own guns), or to take that as a compliment...

You are . You shall die on Night 1.

Have a nice day.

Mirth wrote:

AniX wrote: Wow. Wow. Wow. You are my new favorite scummer. If I had a desire to have sex, I would beg you to allow me entry into your vagina immediately. You, madam, are a god among these mortal fools.

...I am not sure whether to slap you with my piggie-ballerina gloves challenging you to a duel such that I may defend my honor through use of my trusty shotgun (or, that being disallowed, finally get my father to cough up that gift of dueling pistols he promised me when I turned old enough to legally own guns), or to take that as a compliment...

Well, you could always take it as a compliment but shoot him anyway.

You are John Wilkes Booth was wrong: you didn't die. That was an imposter. It was all a setup. You're actually better known as Matthew Ryan, a rogue scientist/time traveler. In your original world, slavery was never abolished, and China now controls slave trade in the US. Twelve years ago they began development on a high-powered weapon that only destroys organic material. Eleven years ago, you boarded a space station controlled by Korea, who in an odd twist of fate is one of the few powerful nations to oppose slavery, and as a result one of the most peaceful places to live. After China began using their super-weapon, Korea quickly developed a special shield to protect the space station. As a result, ten years ago, Korea became the SS Shield, and Earth became China. In a world where the free are predominantly Asian, and one where rampant racism has never quieted, you spent the next two years carefully avoiding all people, while working with a small group of people who lived miles away from you. You eventually managed to get control of the technology that they had built: time travel. Your goal was to reverse the flow of time that led to the world being in the state it's in. You eventually became President in an altered time line. Altered is the key word, though: your old world is still out there, floating along. After you got here, you used your technology to increase your life span exponentially, and you've been carefully watching for signs that the Koreans have found you. They have, now. Some of their own are in your world; but you have one of their bodies, and you can send people back to them. You may send any player from this game to game N+1 every night. However, be warned: your mortal enemy, John Wilkes Booth, is also sending people to your world. Who they'll align with depends on who they were in game N+1, but their alignment might change. You win when the Mafia (the Koreans) in game N (this one) all die, or when John Wilkes Booth dies in game N+1.

You aren't not a Being not not corrupted by the local Mafia (who aren't not XXXX, YYYY and ZZZZ), you're not not used to having to weasel-word your way out of whichever perfectly non-non-illegal actions which you've not been not caught not not perpetrating. Therefore, you don't not have a post restriction. You mustn't not tell the truth at all times, and all of your posts mustn't not never not contain a string of double-non-positives.

Win condition: When it doesn't not not become possible for the Town to not not kill your non-non-non-non-faction.

Yosarian2 wrote:

Mirth wrote:

AniX wrote: Wow. Wow. Wow. You are my new favorite scummer. If I had a desire to have sex, I would beg you to allow me entry into your vagina immediately. You, madam, are a god among these mortal fools.

...I am not sure whether to slap you with my piggie-ballerina gloves challenging you to a duel such that I may defend my honor through use of my trusty shotgun (or, that being disallowed, finally get my father to cough up that gift of dueling pistols he promised me when I turned old enough to legally own guns), or to take that as a compliment...

Well, you could always take it as a compliment but shoot him anyway.

I agree with Yosarian2.