Who would win in a fight out of...?

[Sailor Jerry]

Me and my old housemate used to while away the evenings with this game (and its counterpart "Who would you do out of...?")

For the forum version... the rules are as follows:

1) I start by posting five hypothetical matchups.
2) The next poster says who they think would win in a fight between the two contenders in each matchup.
3) That same poster then invents and posts a matchup of their own (bolding would help).
4) The next poster repeats the process by posting their own results for the five most recently posted matchups.

Mine are:

1) Karate Kid v Chun Li
2) Muhammed Ali vs Batman
3) Superman vs Jesus
4) Fievel (from An American Tail) vs Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)
5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

So... to clarify... the next poster should state who they think would win all these fights and then post Number

6

. The poster to follow that would post their results for Matchups 2-6 and post new matchup Number

7

. Clear?

[Jingolaw]

1) Karate Kid v Chun Li

Winner: Chun Li; not even close.

2) Muhammed Ali vs Batman

Winner: Batman. Maybe closer if Ali were in his prime, but not now.

3) Superman vs Jesus

Winner: Superman, though he would be damned to hell for all eternity as a result...so maybe that's a loss?

4) Fievel (from An American Tail) vs Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)

Winner: Jerry...he has access to explosives and giant hammers, etc.

5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

Winner: Powerpuff Girls...the power of cuteness cannot be disputed.


My long-imagined cage-match fantasy fight:

6) Oprah Winfrey v. Wilford Brimley

[remussaidow]

Jesus would so win. Every three days, he'd come back, turn supermans water to wine, and eventually superman would be so drunk that jesus'd kick his ass.

[Cogito Ergo Sum]

1) Karate Kid v Chun Li

Chun Li, obviously.

2) Muhammed Ali vs Batman

Batman, again, no contest. He just runs over in his Batmobile.

3) Superman vs Jesus

Jesus. Water to wine! That should kill Superman easy.

4) Fievel (from An American Tail) vs Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)

Jerry

5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

Predator. Dude, invisible.

6) Oprah Winfrey v. Wilford Brimley

Um, Brimley?

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

[ChannelDelibird]

3) Superman vs Jesus

Jesus would just ask daddy for help, so Superman's toast.

4) Fievel (from An American Tail) vs Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)

Jerry, on the movie and TV logic that those with dull names shall triumph through adversity.

5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

They're just a bunch of pansy kids ferchrissakes. Predator to own them.

6) Oprah Winfrey v Wilford Brimley

On the Jerry logic, Wilford has got the required skillz.

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddd...

8] Chuck Norris vs everyone else

[Eletriar]

4) Fievel (from An American Tail) vs Jerry (from Tom and Jerry)

I'd have to say Fiefel, if for nothing else than for the sole reason that that mouse (Jerry) is bound to have made enemies you can use as fodder to get to him... am I the only one who can't stand him? By the way, if Tom didn't hesitate to eat him, Jerry would be LONG gone.

5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

Predator, hands down. The PPG may have a monkey flummoxed, but who can seriously consider someone who calls himself Mojo Jojo as a threat? Predator, on the other hand, has proved time and time again JUST how effective he is...

6) Oprah Winfrey v Wilford Brimley

Sorry Brimley; Oprah's got a network.

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

With zombies, it's a matter of pointing them in a direction, getting out of the way, and watching while they try to find each other. The two, true to all zombie movies, would band together and shamble along, creating mass terror until someone gets his/her hands on the legendary Puce Kryptonite. This would fuse the pair, spelling doom for the multiverse in the form of Armageddon.

Hey, it IS the second coming, after all. Get your souveniers early; this will be the biggest show of your life.

8] Chuck Norris vs everyone else

Everyone else. Chuck Norris, a) ISN'T God, contrary to popular belief, and b) it's a bad idea to go against the population of a planet. If nothing else, kung fu v.s. bullets has a predictable outcome. There's power in numbers, believe it or not - I don't care what the movies say. There's a reason we don't see that in the 'real world'.

9) Carmen SanDiego v.s. Waldo

[Mr. Flay]

We've been playing this for a while on LJ: http://community.livejournal.com/whowouldwin/

[JDodge]

5) Predator vs The Powerpuff Girls

: Predator. The worst the PPG have ever dealt with is a monkey trying to turn everyone into dogs.

6) Oprah Winfrey v Wilford Brimley

: Oprah. Like Eletriar said (Welcome to MS, by the way), Oprah has a network.

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

: Zombie Superman. The priests would probably use holy water on their savior first.

8] Chuck Norris vs everyone else

: In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris kills everyone else!

9) Carmen SanDiego v.s. Waldo

: Waldo. Waldo blends in. Carmen has retarded henchmen that pop out of nowhere so you know that you're on the right track.

10) Julia Child vs Paula Deen

[John]

6) Operah vs Wilford:

wilford. oprah is fat again.

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

Zombie jesus. god will love his soe no matter what

8) Chuck Norris vs everyone else

chuck norris. hell chuck as much wood as he could chuck. at everyone.

9) Carmen San Diego vs Waldo

Waldo. he dresses spiffy.

10) Julia Child vs Paul Deen

Julia. Boobs rule

11) Elvis vs Dennis Rodmen

[M4yhem]

7) Zombie Superman vs Zombie Jesus

Superman. because he's stronger than god himself.

8) Chuck Norris vs everyone else

Chuck Norris. Everyone else would fall over from the sheer awesomeness of being in the same place as him.

9) Carmen San Diego vs Waldo

Waldo. He's so weird looking; he's probably some kind of Serial killer.

10) Julia Child vs Paul Deen

Julia Child. I like her last name more.

11) Elvis vs Dennis Rodmen

Elvis always wins.

12) The raptors from Jurassic Park vs The Alien from Alien

[Thok]

8) Chuck Norris vs everyone else

Everybody Else. Mainly because Chuck Norris would refuse to beat up his parents and little children.

9) Carmen San Diego vs Waldo

Carmen San Diego. One of these people has access to a time machine. waldo might be hard to find; Waldo's parents can be pwned before he was born.

10) Julia Child vs Paul Deen

Julia Child. Who the hell is Paul Deen?

11) Elvis vs Dennis Rodmen

Elvis always wins.

12) The raptors from Jurassic Park vs The Alien from Alien

The Alien, just by sheer numbers; it will start by using brontosauruses as nesting grounds for egs.

13) The Chewbacca Defense vs The Twinkee Defense

(Also disable smilies in this post is your friend)

[Eletriar]

8) Chuck Norris vs everyone else

Everyone else, again... same reasons as already stated.

9) Carmen San Diego vs Waldo

While Thok raises an excellent point, may I raise the following issues?
One - Who were Waldo's parents?
Two - How exactly could one follow Waldo through history to find this out? We have no last name, no address, no records...
Three - It takes talent to blend in while wearing what he does. I bet if Waldo ever actually INTENDED to vanish, you'd

never

find him. What do you want to bet his mom and dad were in the IRL version of MI?
I must say that I'd nominate Waldo. While we can and do track Carmen, we have no clue just where that guy's gonna show up next. I'm almost willing to bet he's even more well-traveled than

she

is.

10) Julia Child vs Paula Deen

French VS Southern cooking... The southern cooking, actually. Paula Deen causes heart attacks. Kinda like Kira. Wait a minute... PAULA DEEN IS KIRA! Hehe.... (For the Death Note fans, if there are any)

11) Elvis vs Dennis Rodmen

Elvis is apparently among the immortal... seriously. He never really did die, did he? He's just out there somewhere, watching us, biding his time... I doubt he's even human.

12) The raptors from Jurassic Park vs The Alien from Alien

The Alien... just by the fact that they are skilled at takeover. Makes me wonder how many planets succumbed to them... seriously, it's like the ant v.s. that one breed of wasp. Say what you will; the wasp will win. The alien will use RAPTORS as breeding grounds. (Sorry, troodonts; I still love you)

13) The Chewbacca Defense vs The Twinkee Defense

Wookies against Twinkies... Hmm. A legal term in an attempt to blame actions on junk food against using red herrings in order to confuse and therefore get people to do what you want?

Give em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazle 'em... how can they see with sequins in their eyes?

Sorry, but the long arm of the law ends with Chewbacca. Wookies always win. Take Chewbacca. He lives on the forest moon of Endor. But he's from Kashyyk where there are carnivorous trees. He lives with teddy bears. THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! You see what I'm getting at? This has nothing to DO with the case, it's nonsensical. Here I am talking about Wookies! This case makes no sense!

With legal jargon, this is already nearing reality, sadly, and I'm just waiting to see SP's mockery of the courts actually come to pass... and Stan say 'I told you so'.

14) Ninja vs Jedi

[Mr Beck]

(8)Chuck Norris versus Everyone Else: Chuck Norris was in my lineage of instructors in my martial art. That said, he is a badass. However, some people in my martial art are MORE badass. They being "the rest of the world", "the rest of the world" would win.
(9)Carmen San Diego versus Waldo: In my martial art, the "Wol Do" (moon sword) is a 50 pound 10 ft long halberd. It could decapitate Carmen San Diego, even if she was on a horse.
(11) Elvis vs Dennis Rodmen: Elvis will return from space and nuke earth. HE WINS.
(12) The raptors from Jurassic Park vs The Alien from Alien: Assuming neither bred, that would be an awesoe fight to see. Someone should make a movie of it-who wins is un is not predictable.
(13) The Chewbacca Defense vs The Twinkee Defense: If they are both defenses, how could one fight another? The would both sit there spouting nonesense at each other until Chewbacca would give up and dismember Mr Twinkee. At that point, Chewbacca wins.
important. Aliens have spikey tails, and raptors hunt in packs. Victory(14) Ninja vs Jedi: Jedi are Ninjas without the black, but are able to mess with popele's minds and make up cool quotes. Lightsabers break katanas, so Ninja weapon is useless. Jedi force powers can see ninjas coming even if they try to be sneaky. Jedi can move stuff with their minds. Finally, even if a ninja kills a jedi "By striking me down you will make me more powerful than you can imagine." In short, Jedi beat ninjas whatever ninjas do.

(15) Animated emoticons versus text emoticons:

Sorry for breaking rules, but I had to put in some propoganda about Soo Bahk Do (Korean martial art) in there.
Sorry again, but for some reason my bold thxt was not working. I'll try to fix it later.

[BeHappyNewyear]

9) Carmen San Diego vs. Waldo: As much as I like our favorite little traveling lost-person, Carmen San Diego's Ninja Skillz win out. Besides, Waldo just looks stupid in red and white stripes.

10) Julia Child vs. Paula Deen: Simple. Julia uses her death-stare and melts the plastic off of Paula's face. Game over.

11) Elvis vs. Dennis Rodman: Well, Dennis is in a lose-lose situation here. If he kills Elvis (again) surely the waves of his devout followers would gang up and kill him. Besides, Elvis knows a REAL martial art.

12) Raptors vs. Alien: Two words: Acidic Blood. Raptors from JP stand no chance.

13) Chewbacca Defense vs. Twinkie Defense: Chewbacca Defense wins this one. Johnny Cochran FTW!

14) Ninja vs. Jedi: Jedi wins, solely on the basis that Pirate has to show up and sabotage Ninja somehow.

15) Animated Emoticons vs. Text Emoticons: Since Text is older, and can't move, Animated has the distinct advantage here.

and the next match:

16) Condoleeza Rice vs. Hillary R. Clinton

[Mr Beck]

Soo Bahk Do is real. You just have not heard of it.
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