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Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2021 6:45 am
by brighteningskies
I'm gonna make something on the weekend, posting here so I can't chicken out!

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:16 pm
by brighteningskies
Potato dumplings
!

peel some potatoes (I used maris piper variety)
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chippity chop, rainbow knife optional
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you might die from raw potatoes, so good idea to boil them
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[Do The] Mashed Potatoes
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Add to a big bowl some salt, pepper, 5-6 tablespoons of flour, pinch of nutmeg or two if you're into that, add mash to bowl! Stir until all mixed. Add a splish splosh of milk until there's a dough-like consistency.
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Swear colourfully while you roll the potato dough into lil balls or if you're feeling sensible, wait for the hot potato mix to cool then roll.
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Boil them in a pot of hot water until the float to the top like potato flavoured buoys
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Make a stew to go with your dumplings! I don't have an exact recipe for this because I like to cook stews with the Force but I cooked beef mince, garlic and vegetables, added stock, tomato puree, worcestershire sauce (or your preferred form of umami goodness) together. I added a bayleaf and various dried herbs: basil and lemon thyme I think? downsides of hanging fresh herbs to dry in your kitchen is that they aren't labelled...
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Fry some breadcrumbs in a bit of butter until they get all crispy & cronchy
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Serve the dumplings next to/on top of the stew, top with crispy & cronchy breadcrumbs!
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Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:35 pm
by Haschel Cedricson
That looks wonderful, and I am definitely down to try cooking some potato dumplings. Thank you for submitting!

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 7:14 am
by xofelf
You ever have one of those days where you're hungry, but your level of effort or physical ability is pretty much nothing? Well, let me bring you my usual potato dish for these days. I call it:
Depression Potatoes
! The best part is there's so much versatility baked right in(no baking will be necessary)!

Step One: Get together all your various potato making ingredients like so:
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If you have more ability, going actual potatoes is highly encouraged, but not necessary! So Instant it is today. And if you're making instant or normal mashed potatoes, you need milk and butter. You'll notice that there is corn hanging about, this is the key ingredient aside from potatoes for this dish. If you have them and feel up to it, you can also toss in things like pieces of ham or hot dogs, for that extra oomph. For spices and flavour we have garlic salt, parsley, onion powder, and black pepper. There's also some parmesan. Measurements on these are difficult in that I never measure, I just put stuff in until it tastes how I like, so play around with that I guess? You can also try tossing in things like onion salt, or Italian seasoning for different flavours if you want.

Step Two: Put all these things minus the potato flakes into a pot on your stove, and because you're going to do this fast and will be hanging around the stove, turn it all the way up!
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The number one rule of heating milk on a stove is, you may as well watch it at all times because milk is a bitch and likes to boil over in seconds if you aren't watching. I like to take the cooking time to do some of my physical therapy exercises. These involve putting my hands on the counter, and kicking a leg behind me as far back as it will go while extended, and alternating legs 30 times each. And also from that same position, kicking legs off to the side as far up as they will go while extended and feet still pointing towards the counter alternating 30 times each. By the time you get through both sets of these, the butter will be melted in the pot, and the actual cooking part is done.

Step Three: Pour all the stuff from a pan into a bowl
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Wow, so easy!

Step Four: Now put in the necessary amount of potato flakes
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I happen to like my potatoes a little on the smooth and saucy side, so I put slightly less than the recommended measurements from the box. But now you mix those suckers up til potatoes look properly blended up.

Step Five: Now get some shredded cheese of your choice and plop that in
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It'll be hot enough the cheese will melt, and who doesn't like melty cheesy potatoes?

Step Six: Decide whether or not you want to deal with washing a different dish or if today is a day that eating straight from the serving bowl appeals
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Rainbow Spoon is not necessary but highly encouraged. But there you have it, a fairly easy fairly filling actually have cooked something on a stove dish for those days when you know you gotta eat something but you only have so much effort to spend in the kitchen. Also gives you that boost of accomplishment you may be looking for. It's also not bad as a side dish for a full meal. The sky's the limit!

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 5:22 pm
by Malkon05
Flim donnt has potate wut do? Cann meh uze yohgurht insteade? For scienc ov coarse muah <3

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 5:34 pm
by Haschel Cedricson
In post 29, Malkon05 wrote:Flim donnt has potate wut do? Cann meh uze yohgurht insteade? For scienc ov coarse muah <3
There is literally one rule, and it states that you must use a potato.

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:23 pm
by Aristophanes
Oh I have a thing but I have to edit it because I did video..

Maybe tomorrow

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:23 pm
by Aristophanes
Also I love the submissions so far <3

Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:43 pm
by xofelf
You could just do the video! Up to you :)

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:33 pm
by caledfwitch
last minute potato entry, my family is hosting a surprise dinner party so i decided to make a recipe ive been dying to try forever: j. kenji lopez-alt's best roast potatoes

first i boiled my potatoes (the water also has 2 tbsp of salt and 1/2 tsp of baking soda)

Spoiler: potatoes in pot
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then while that is happening you must infuse the roasting oil with chopped garlic and rosemary, then strain out the top so you have perfectly crispy toppings for later

Spoiler: oil being infused and dry seasonings
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after the potato is cooked thru you drain it in preparation for the rough toss

Spoiler: boiled potato
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next you must roughly toss the potatoes with the infused oil until there is a little mashed potato-y crust on the outside. this by itself is also quite delicious

Spoiler: potatoes pre oven
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then you bake without touching on a baking sheet at 450 degrees f for 20 mins. after that you flip and continue to bake at 15 min intervals or whenever all sides are golden brown

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j kenji lopez alt is a genius. this is quite possibly the best roast potato i ever make. i highly recommend everyone try it
P.S.!!! the youtube comments were very helpful: to prevent potato stickage to the baking sheet you must preheat the oven WITH the baking sheet still inside. the sheet will be hot and the potato will sizzle a little when it hits the sheet but u will not have inconvenient stickage

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 2:41 pm
by Malkon05
In post 30, Haschel Cedricson wrote:
In post 29, Malkon05 wrote:Flim donnt has potate wut do? Cann meh uze yohgurht insteade? For scienc ov coarse muah <3
There is literally one rule, and it states that you must use a potato.
Flim sadface :(

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 2:43 pm
by xofelf
I think it's time for you to do Science with a potato.

Also, Caled, those look so fucking good!!!!

Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 4:41 pm
by Aristophanes
Alright! Hopefully coming in under the wire is this...uh...masterpiece?

Just, watch and enjoy.

*note that this is my first time with the mic so I scratched in a few places. My apologies!
**also note that the main chunk of video would not load in my editor so what I was going to trim got left in and well, it's a video in 3 parts. You have a real life Ari and I have done 0 editing to it... *cringe*







Interesting things to note:
This was really easy, as you can see!
As it cooled, it actually solidified nicely and was far easier to eat.
I noticed that the Bacon flavouring was lost in the mix, but the Sour Cream & Green Onion flavouring came out very strong! I was pretty impressed by that!
Texture was legit that of boxed mashed potatoes but with a unique flavour opportunity. I mean, imagine if I'd done All Dressed! :O

Oh, and here's the dish after some cooling!

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Posted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 8:54 pm
by Who
Does all the washing up and ingredient gathering for xofelf's depression potatoes seem like way too much effort? Were you patient zero for covid 19 as a young child, forever removing your sense of smell, causing you to seek recipes which don't rely on spices? Try
Covid Potatoes


Preheat the oven to 400ish degrees. Really anything between 375-450 is fine, I generally cook something else in the same pan and base the cooking temperature on that rather than the potatoes.
Spoiler: Take a potato
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Spoiler: Cut it up
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Now put it in a pan. I used a cast iron skillet, but really anything which can go in the oven is fine. If you do not want to have to do any dishes, coat the pan in aluminum foil.
Spoiler:
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Spoiler: Spread some mayonnaise on the potato slices
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That was too much mayonnaise. Oh well.

Cook it for like 20 minutes, take it out, add some kind of meat/protein. Cook that for another 30 minutes. (This part depends on what kind of meat/protein you add. The potatoes themselves should cook for 40-60 minutes depending on temperature)
Spoiler:
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Spoiler: Put on a plate, add vegetables
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2021 3:34 am
by Haschel Cedricson
And with that, it's time to vote! Please make your way to the poll in this thread.

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2021 2:36 pm
by Haschel Cedricson
Oops, the deadline for this ended when I was doing a bunch of family stuff and then I forgot to go back and announce the results.

At any rate, with a commanding victory the very first Iron Chef winner is
brighteningskies
! They have won the people's ovation and fame forever, as well as the right to choose the theme ingredient for the next contest. That contest will launch November 1, so brighteningskies, please PM me the ingredient before then.

Congratulations again, and thank you all for participating in the first contest.

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2021 5:11 pm
by Aristophanes
I was thinking of bumping this today, thanks for beating me to it! :)

Looking forward to the new ingredient!