Spoil a Wish II

[ORAM]

Granted. Your home is now filled with fish. Good luck ever getting rid of the smell.

I wish for all bigotry to stop forever.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Climate change doesn't. The world may not be unbearably hateful anymore, but it's still unbearably hot.

I wish I didn't suck at chess.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. With the world not being unbearably hateful, negative terms to refer to someone are eliminated completely. There no longer exists words to describe your skill at chess.

I wish for less fish.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. I hope you're not a pescetarian, because all fish species have gone extinct.

I wish I could afford new dining room furniture.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. These supposedly "new" dining room furnishings smell strongly of fish.

I wish for the portal gun

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You accidentally kill yourself with it.

I wish to get rid of the fish smell.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. A team of mice coat and cover the smell of fish with the smell of various cheeses.

I wish for a box containing money disguised as inconspicious gold bars

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. The money is counterfeit and you are arrested.

I wish work were more interesting.

[Ircher]

Granted. Your work becomes so interesting that you let yourself burnout from accepting too much responsibility and overworking.

I wish bad things didn't happen to good people.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. The optics of having nothing bad happen to you becomes much more appealing to bad people, causing those that have power and influence over the media to bend it to their will, fooling the masses into believing that they must be righteous as nothing bad hath fallen onto them.

I wish the cake wasn't a lie :(

[Iprobablysuck]

Granted. Sadly, to obtain the cake, you must survive Apeture testing. Good luck!

I wish for the Eagles to win another Super Bowl in my lifetime

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. They win Super Bowl LIX, and you die the day after.

I wish I could do something about Iprobablysuck having only about a year to live.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. You donate your heart to Iprobablysuck, and they can live longer. But you also don't have a heart so you die.

I wish I always knew whether things were socially acceptable to say

before

I said them.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You're seen as too nice and taken advantage of.

I wish for my family's financial situation to improve.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. You are sold into slavery, and your family's financial situation improves dramatically.

I wish I stopped having dreams where I am being attacked by a swarm of venomous insects.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You start having dreams where you are being attacked by a group of ax-wielding zombies.

I wish I got paid every day.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. Your employer gives you five 10-dollar cheques every day which you have to deposit one-by-one before you can use. (you can replace the amount so that it adds up to your actual salary).

I was able to come up with a witty and useful wish.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. It'll still be spoiled just the same.

I wish that more flags would use a purple/green color combination.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. They are ridiculed for reminding people too much of Barney's color scheme.

I wish I had more toys for my cat to play with.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You grow new and exotic body parts for your cat to play with. You still get scratched up just the same.

I wish squids are real.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You are killed by them.

I wish ChatGPT were a bit better with brainstorming for my story.

[Silverclaw]

Wish Granted. It becomes so good that it writes the whole thing by itself, and your story becomes mired in controversy.

I wish for a good life.

- T

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You, specifically, have a good life, at the expense of everyone else. You remain oblivious of this fact, to remain feeling happy and satisfied.

I wish to be literally perfect.

[DragonEater70]

Granted. You become a perfect marble statue.

I wish skill decay (e.g. becoming worse at chess after not playing for a year) didn't affect me.

[Jake The Wolfie]

Granted. You become incapable of playing chess.

I wish Thomas Midgley Jr. wasn't all that interested in chemistry and/or making money