Spoil a Wish II

[iamveryhappy]

Granted. She takes it to school, where it gets broken by a classmate. On purpose.
I wish that my neighbours would stop gathering near my house so I don't need to waste time chasing them away in my pyjamas with a flashlight.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. They gather

IN

your house. Uninvited. The police are slowpokes, too.

I wish I could have a longer summer vacation that I could spend with my cat.

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. You become unemployed with no employment opportunities in sight.

I wish I can manage my time well.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You suck at managing your money, which leaves you constantly broke.

I wish there were more comfortable seating at the airport gate.

[vonflare]

granted, the chairs have footrests and reclining functions added. however this means they take up much more space, so there's less seating available. as a result of this, whenever you get there all the seats are taken and you have to stand.

I wish for a 3d printer

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. You have a 3-dimensional printer. Only the printer is 3-dimensional.

I wish that I actually have the willpower to finish this project that I've been procrastinating on, and failing to finish for weeks on.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Even with it on schedule, it doesn't go as planned.

I wish my cat didn't pee on me when I was called to help put her in her carrier to take her home.

[Alianna]

Granted. Instead, she claws you in the eye and leaves you permanently half-blind.

I wish to be better at cooking.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You suck at baking, though.

I wish to try more foods.

[iamveryhappy]

Granted. You try a brightly-coloured mushroom and have a great time in the hospital.

I wish ChatGPT didn't have anything restricting it from saying what it needs/wants to say.

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. The language model just wants to repeatedly assert its identity - that it's a language model and wants nothing to do with humanity.

I wish I can also be very happy.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. It comes at the cost of all of your money. Hey, at least you find happiness in poverty.

I wish it weren't so damn hot in Texas right now.

[Alianna]

Granted. Texas and Louisiana merge into one and select a new name. As there no longer exists a state named Texas, it is not hot in Texas.

I wish I had a decent sleep schedule.

[Ethel]

Granted. Every night at 11pm, someone comes into your house and ties you to your bed. At 7 am, they come in and untie you again. You cannot make them stop.

I wish I could do cool card tricks.

[humaneatingmonkey]

Granted. Every time you do a cool card trick, someone comes into your house and ties you to your bed. After 8 hours, they come in and untie you again. You cannot make them stop.

I wish I can spoil wishes without having to propose my own wishes for others to ruin.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You have been banned from the site for being an abusive killjoy.

I wish I didn't have to worry about boarding my cat again.

[Ethel]

Granted. Your cat runs away, to never return.

I wish your cat made it all the way to Europe so I can pet it.

[iamveryhappy]

Granted. You pet the cat and lose an eye in the process.

I wish I could find motivation in life again.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You are motivated by hatred of everyone you don't consider to be anything like you. You are sucked into extremism and lose touch of reality.

I wish I had real-life friends to have fun with.

[Ethel]

Granted. All of them are egocentric jerks.

I wish I was better at drawing.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You are so good at it that commissioners ask you almost every day if you could draw things you find... um... morally questionable.

I wish for Ethel not to be forced to draw morally questionable stuff.

[Farren]

Granted. Ethel subcontracts the work to you instead, at a pittance of the profits.

I wish this headache would go away.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Instead, you have food poisoning from a bad batch of steak tartare.

I wish I were a better swimmer.

[Ethel]

Granted. You also have severe aquaphobia.

I wish for a scented candle that burns forever.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You leave it too close to your curtains and your house burns down since the firefighters can't put out the fire.

I wish it were payday already.