The Adventure of a
D
rUn
K
En
Alchemist
Game Status:
Game Over.
See complete wrap up at the bottom of this post.
Oh dear.
Ze Story
Somewhere in a land far, far away, an alchemist who went by the name of Yama Kapila arrived home in a drunken state after a night at one of the local bars. Instead of opening the refrigerator to look for some food or simply going to sleep, he slunk down behind his laboratory desk to mix different chemicals and potions together.
“A little bit of *BURP* this… uhm, a little bit of that,” mumbled Yama as he mixed the chemicals and potions together in a trance-like state.
Suddenly the constant mixing of the chemicals and potions created a violent reaction within his laboratory which nearly toppled him over! With a flash of bright light, a magic portal suddenly opened up before him, which seemed to have no beginning and no end.
“Heh. I wonder *BURP* what would happen if I…”
The alchemist walked to the entrance still in his drunken state to figure out what exactly this portal was, and *POOF!* he magically vanished from the room! Down, down, down the portal’s never ending black hole he slid until finally, BAM!, he landed flat on his rear in a room he had never seen before. The room had extremely high ceilings, a glass floor, and seemingly no walls – just endless, endless horizontal space and glowing lights with no light sources. Just then, a figure whom Yama was unable to recognize ran before him with terror in his eyes.
“PLEASE!” said the figure. “We need your help… Something or someone keeps killing the inhabitants of our…,” before he could get another word out of his mouth, he clutched his chest in pain. Yama looked at him and noticed a sharp, glass-made dagger entered through his back and exited through his chest impaling him and sapping the life out of his body. With the figure’s last bits of life, he removed a small vial containing a light green liquid from his own pocket, forced Yama to drink it, and died quietly.
Yama quickly stood up realizing that someone or something had flung this dagger at him to prevent him from sharing his news. He worriedly looked in every direction at the vast, wall-less room but could see nothing until a tall, beautiful, curvy woman walked in his direction and stood before him.
“Hello,” said the woman whom Yama recognized as… Carmen Elektra? “And welcome to the place that we call “The Temple”. You must be the new contestant on our game show.”
“Game show?” asked Yama.
“Hehhehe… don’t be silly. Now go get changed! All of our other contestants are famous people from Earthian history during the time period 2000 B.C. to 2100 A.D but since you're totally NOT famous, you'll have to dress up as someone who is,” said Carmen Elektra.
“But what about… him? Do you not see him dead there?” asked Yama.
“Oh yah. This game show is for the fun of our viewers at home but is completely real. Our contestants do die on set… it’s just a fact of life. The name of the game we are playing is Extreme Mafia. I’ll tell you your role when you get changed. Any questions?” asked Carmen.
“Heh… you have no idea,” says Yama.
Just then, Carmen presses a button on a remote located in her purse to cause a room to appear from the ground.
“There’s the dressing room. Get cracking!” encouraged Carmen. “Once you’re ready, you can come out and the other 11 players will be here waiting for you. Trust me… it’ll be fun!”
“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” thought Yama as he slowly walked towards the dressing room.
Little did he know he was about to be in for the ride of his life… or death.
“A little bit of *BURP* this… uhm, a little bit of that,” mumbled Yama as he mixed the chemicals and potions together in a trance-like state.
Suddenly the constant mixing of the chemicals and potions created a violent reaction within his laboratory which nearly toppled him over! With a flash of bright light, a magic portal suddenly opened up before him, which seemed to have no beginning and no end.
“Heh. I wonder *BURP* what would happen if I…”
The alchemist walked to the entrance still in his drunken state to figure out what exactly this portal was, and *POOF!* he magically vanished from the room! Down, down, down the portal’s never ending black hole he slid until finally, BAM!, he landed flat on his rear in a room he had never seen before. The room had extremely high ceilings, a glass floor, and seemingly no walls – just endless, endless horizontal space and glowing lights with no light sources. Just then, a figure whom Yama was unable to recognize ran before him with terror in his eyes.
“PLEASE!” said the figure. “We need your help… Something or someone keeps killing the inhabitants of our…,” before he could get another word out of his mouth, he clutched his chest in pain. Yama looked at him and noticed a sharp, glass-made dagger entered through his back and exited through his chest impaling him and sapping the life out of his body. With the figure’s last bits of life, he removed a small vial containing a light green liquid from his own pocket, forced Yama to drink it, and died quietly.
Yama quickly stood up realizing that someone or something had flung this dagger at him to prevent him from sharing his news. He worriedly looked in every direction at the vast, wall-less room but could see nothing until a tall, beautiful, curvy woman walked in his direction and stood before him.
“Hello,” said the woman whom Yama recognized as… Carmen Elektra? “And welcome to the place that we call “The Temple”. You must be the new contestant on our game show.”
“Game show?” asked Yama.
“Hehhehe… don’t be silly. Now go get changed! All of our other contestants are famous people from Earthian history during the time period 2000 B.C. to 2100 A.D but since you're totally NOT famous, you'll have to dress up as someone who is,” said Carmen Elektra.
“But what about… him? Do you not see him dead there?” asked Yama.
“Oh yah. This game show is for the fun of our viewers at home but is completely real. Our contestants do die on set… it’s just a fact of life. The name of the game we are playing is Extreme Mafia. I’ll tell you your role when you get changed. Any questions?” asked Carmen.
“Heh… you have no idea,” says Yama.
Just then, Carmen presses a button on a remote located in her purse to cause a room to appear from the ground.
“There’s the dressing room. Get cracking!” encouraged Carmen. “Once you’re ready, you can come out and the other 11 players will be here waiting for you. Trust me… it’ll be fun!”
“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” thought Yama as he slowly walked towards the dressing room.
Little did he know he was about to be in for the ride of his life… or death.
