The Spoil a Wish game

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But a non-shithead steals your lunch instead.

I wish I can fly.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted, but your mom threw them away.

I wish I have a bag of chips right now.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But when they wake up they sue you for sexual abuse which you cannot prove you didn't commit.

I wish my highschool teacher calls me and say she's thinking about me right now.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted, but they were gummy bears from Cloudy With Chance of Meatballs, and they strangle you till death.

I want a cat.

[drmyshotgun]

GG Thank you though.
Granted (well, actually it isn't but what is?). But it's my birthday and I can do anything I want.

I wish my highschool teacher is resurrected and calls me to tell me she has a secret gift for me.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But when you finish your match, the car pool lady crashes her tank on you.

I wish my eye sights get better.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But the lemonade was made by squeky little girl scouts who have never made lemonade before and gave you a pure lemon juice.

I wish I didn't drink redbull before going to bed.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But you couldn't help it but to test it to yourself. You're on the other side of the moon now.

I want to see The Avengers again.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But you don't have one.

I wish I can pass my Statistics assignment 2 on time.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But you go deaf on the same day.

I wish this weird dude next to my computer stop looking at me.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But after 2000 years from your death.

I wish my film reviews were read by everyone in the world all agreeing how perfect it is.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But I have no idea what you are wishing for.

I wish my umbrella has hidden shotgun in it.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. S/He was indeed crashed. By your car. You had strong motivation for that somebody's death. You were also drunk. You had death threat letters for that somebody in your possession. You are sent to prison for life.

I wish Powerade Black was free for all.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Whatever that was.

I wish people will stop making lame wishes that has possibility of actually being granted in real life.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. In your dreams.

I wish I can take sneak preview of The Dark Knight Rises.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted... You become sleepless guy and becomes so bored at night, goes around the empty streets. Eventually your night strolling attracts hobos and they rape you and steal your money.

I wish I get that job in Disney.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. After fiddling with that cursed cube for three days and three nights non-stop, you finally crack it. However, after you squeal with joy and leave for ten seconds to call your friend over to tell him your achievement, your three year old baby brother comes along and messes it up. You scream at your brother and strangle him. That moment, your friend enters the house calls the police and you are sent to jail. There you share your cell with 250 pounds Russian skin-head who is delighted that he got a skinny wimp with no hair in his arse has come to share some intimate times. Shawshank Redemption, this ain't.

I wish my printer doesn't suck up three pages at a time and wastes ink.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But your Skin-head Russian Mafia cellmate glares at your sandwich. You give it to him in the hopes of having a quiet night. He takes the sandwich, thanks you and says he will repay it by giving you the chance to penetrate his arse tonight.

I wish I destroy my friend in a game of Battleship.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Liam Neeson is a nice man. He smokes fatass cigar, has a gigantic ship, helicopter, and everything else you don't have. He invites you on his helicopter and throws you off on a snowy mountain where wolves rip you apart and eat you.

I wish to be invisible whenever I wish to be.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. I'm extremely happy!!

I wish for the person who grants this wish to be as extremely miserable as I am extremely happy.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Your now unemployeed Genie comes out of his lamp and beats the shit out of you. He then chucks you in a pool of Indian Cobras and you die slowly in agony.

I wish I had more time.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You set out on a long hard journey to "find" more time. After twenty years of traveling in a no-man's land, you

do

find some time. 20 seconds. Fuck man, 20 seconds, it was damn sure worth it!

I wish I have chocolate cake for dessert.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You trial fly it alone and crash land in Jurassic era. You are forever hunted by all sorts of dinosaurs, insects, fishes, etc etc. Finally you end up getting ripped tiny piece by piece by little compsognathuses.

I wish I had a pet compsognathus.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. It wasn't dead in the first place! In the sewer system, it mutates into an albino giant hunky monster and eats all the manhole inspectors in the city. But oh no! I'm a manhole inspector myself!! Eeeeek!!!!

I wish Loch Ness Monster exists.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Your work is basically male prostitution. Your computer fucks all your clients. You are soon fired from your job and your computer takes over your life.

I wish this mouse pad would just go fuck itself.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Tequilla's the drink of your choice. Your head literally explodes on the morning.

I wish I look good with my glasses off.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You go actually blind and thus no need for glasses. At ALL. How lucky! Now you don't require this annoying little lenses on your nose to see things. Actually, you don't have to see anything!

Granted! You borrowed money from loan sharks and paid off using that. Now all you need to do is just pay the loan sharks back. Good luck with that 35% interest per week!

I wish I had that pill from Limitless.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You are in your deathbed. As a corpse, you had some gas in your stomach left over and you really want to let it out.
Finally the guys in your funeral buries you six feet under and you are able to relax. Letting go of your remaining gas.

I wish an extension.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Only problem is that you get a throat cancer before you attempt to eat anything at all! Poor you. You won't even be able to drink water now. Not even your saliva. But hey, no worries about any consequences! Only that you can't do it.

I wish I win that auction on The Dark Knight Rises poster.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. However the reason why the date of the end of semester changing so suddenly is caused by you. You were having an experiment in the Health Science Department when your test tube and bunsen burner exploded. It caused major fire and explosion in that building, forcing the school to shut down immediately. No worries, it will be back to normal at the beginning of the next semester. Although it will be missing its Health Science Department.


I wish no-one knows my secret.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You decide to download some more and lo behold on your doorsteps. Federal Agents arrest you for being a super hacker which you obviously aren't.

I wish everybody can sing.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You are so fast and fill this entire thread with your own posts. You are a sad lonely man. I feel sorry but I can't help you because you are just making wishes and granting them at the same time. Still, your wish has been granted!

I wish Jurassic Park to be remade not have a 4th in its series.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. As a result of Greenhouse effect or whatever else its called, it snows in LA! Holy fuck. All the homeless people freeze to death. Hollywood stars flee the site.

I wish I live a life everyone wants.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Careful, it's a hot one! Oops! Oh SHIT. OH FUCK. FUUUUUCK!!!!

I wish my umbrella doesn't break.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! That makes a straight flush! Well done to you! But look around. Where are you? A dark, sleazy underground casino joint run by Russian Mafia. And who did you play against? Why, the boss himself, of course. He isn't too pleased, you see. He thought he had the better hand, but no. Good luck getting out of there, mate. Don't call me for help.

I wish Angry Birds just go fuck themselves.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! All you needed to do was to find your mirror. Et Voila! Found ya.

I wish my life was high class.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! FBI quickly finds out about this, locks you up in a glass room with nothing at all, and you stay there for the rest of your life.

I wish for a new Terminator film.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! They are honest indeed, but are you?? They've got a keen eye, and they aren't happy about you. You were the next player to Equinox (see post #9533 for more), and yeah, you're in trouble.

I wish for a peanut butter sandwich.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. They make themselves fake citizenship, passports etc, and now they are Irish Mafia.

I wish I never bleed.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You were removed from heaven and now transported to hell.

I wish zombies were real.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Every juvenile delinquents, bullies, school gangs select you as the most wanted guy. You get beaten up into unrecognizable pulp.

I wish no women I truly like didn't smoke.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You...ah, who cares. He ain't coming back no more.

I wish for an oxblood coloured fedora. The one Johnny Depp wore in Public Enemies.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! But their cover is blown so quickly. They were alts of male members of this site. Scandal ensues.

I wish Sacha Baron Cohen just stop what the fuck he's going to do next.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It costs $59.99 a cup.

I wish for some tissues.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! He becomes more attentive of it to keep being unattentetive.

I wish for more activity in my Vengeful Townie game.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It exists in a parallel world and you'll never get to see it.

I wish for my umbrella to have a sword hidden inside it and I have permission to carry it around.

p.s: I

am

the mod.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You start in Russia where you are captured by the Russian Mafia to become a sex slave and is dragged around the continent of Europe.

I wish to become a xenomorph.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's poisoned.

I wish for all cockroaches to disappear from earth.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's poisoned.

I wish for more complex wishes I can grant and/or spoil.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! After you eliminate yourself.

I wish for some Doritos right now. Not poisoned, not spat at, not fallen on the ground. Just plain bag of Dorritos.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! StrangerCoug captures it and makes untold millions of dollars. Gazillionair in making!

I wish trees grew quicker.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted!

I wish giant corporations combine to extinguish world hunger.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In that month's time, you break all your fingers and kissed your piano goodbye.

I wish other people fail the exam I took along with me.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! That fish grows into a mutant monster and crawls up your toilet bowl and bites your ass.

I wish this isn't too hard.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Millions and millions of potatoes fall on you and you get crushed and die. Death by potatoes is something so original.

I wish people knew what I meant with my wish on post#9625.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You went back in time and it's 2011 September! Only a year left for whatever you were hoping for!

I wish for more ammunition.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Remember how Murray got out of it at the end? You don't. Have a great awesome life!

I wish people don't call me a troll-alt-account anymore.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! But mith account gets hacked and you are back to being CMAR. It was worth it though, right?

I wish for some quiet time of my own.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's poisoned though. You are to sleep until a handsome prince kisses you on the lips. Mmmm, sweet dreams!

I wish for a very long stick.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Your little brother gives you one. What he forgot (?) to tell you is that he let your dog have a big lick on it seconds before. You eat it without realizing it and later find out that your dog's breath smells like that ice cream you just ate.

I wish for weight loss. 3kg would do nicely for me.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's all goods now. Like, actually!!

I wish for some evidence to prove my innocence.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In time, Korlash. In time.

I wish dusts were non-existant in this world.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Your mom gives you $2, and you get a brand new watch with Yu-Gi-Oh pictures on it!

I wish for a bit of rain.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! But you'd have to direct the new version yourself.

I wish for someone to clean my garage.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! As a man-whore. Viva Las Vegas! ay?

I wish for longer fingers.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In another time, in another post.

I wish for silence.

[drmyshotgun]

Sweet.

I wish for a very long stick.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! What are Edit buttons for, anyways?

I wish for a very large rock.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You move on to cooking. But sorry pal, you just ain't there yet. You go back to mopping.

I wish for a very thick paper.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You'll have me! Wait...no, that's not possible is it?

I wish for a very shiny coin.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You'll learn soon. Eventually.

I wish for a very tight belt.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It was [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] but you [REDACTED] it.

i wish for a very long ruler.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But I really wish this too. It's such a tragedy.

I wish for a very bright pencil.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. This wish will actually come true. In time.

I wish for a very dark chocolate.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You drown in it.

I wish for a very tasty bread.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Umm, yeah.

I wish for a very cold water.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! The person who spoiled that wish was you who came back in time from 30 years after. Meaning, you took 30 years to come up with that. So it wasn't that easy. Get it?

I wish for a very comfortable bed.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Oh boy, you are just asking for trouble aren't ya? Not gonna happen. You get on fine! So your insinuated wish: "I want people to screw with my eyes and teeth" is thus hereby spoiled.

I wish for a very big gun.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You die before seeing that happen.

I wish for a very warm meal.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You have a carcrash right after work.

I wish for a very good movie.

[drmyshotgun]

I wish for a very fast car.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You are now in a worse mood.

I wish for a very hard stone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You drove like a fanatic.

I wish for a very smooth curves.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! But first you must live the eternity. Whatever that is.

I wish for a very accurate ruler.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You are to keep it a secret for the rest of your life.

I wish for a very strong Pokemon.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! She gets well but now you are sick because you gave her every single one of your own organs for a transplant.

I wish for a very deep pool (which will cause no-one's death).

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! She's back, but you are behind.

I wish for very quiet students.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It eats you.

I wish for a very tame cat.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You know this already right? It's been done an unknown number of times already. It starts with that "Nice, cold glass of soda" and ends with you dead.

I wish for a very vivid marker.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Ooops! You know how this is going to end, don't ya?
You get to have a private jet, takes out hot girls for a "ride", have a fun party in the jet, but is tragically lured into a dogfight and crash.

I wish for a very ferocious T-Rex (that will obey me and not eat me nor my family).

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! A crazy lunatic dressed as Batman and wearing a hockey mask comes up to you and beats you up with a baseball bat asking: "Where is it! Where is it?!!"

I wish for a double headed coin.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In your coffin.

I wish for the ability to turn invisible and back whenever I want to.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! That wish made you tossed into a time loop-hole where you relive Friday-Saturday-Sunday forever and ever!
Trying to take advantage of this awesome situation, in your 3rd Sunday, you decide to rape people and rob banks and deal drugs and get into an awesome gunfight against the police! Who knew? You can still die in this situation! So you die.

I wish for Spiderman to save me from danger.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Your old english teacher comes back from the grave to teach you spellings and grammar in English language all over again! Good old times.

I wish for a comfortable rocking chair that will not kill anyone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! On that rocking chair that has been reported to be stolen. Stealing rocking chairs has recently been made as capital crime and thus you shall receive maximum punishment.
You know the rest of the story.

I wish for the most accurate watch in the history of mankind that will not get stolen, broken, nor kill anyone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! She wishes that you'd stick your head into a toilet and drink up! You actually do, but in fact, you were just licking the bowls. You spoilt her wish good man!

I wish for some distinction.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's a magical calendar! Unfortunately it soon develops higher intelligence than you and starts to make you its slave.
When you

do

become its slave, it makes you change its days.

I wish for my ex-highschool teacher to seduce me.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! No-one saves good ol' Daylight. Daylight dies alone in the cold dark prison cell.

I wish for cupcakes that's not poisoned.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! There is no Zombie apocalypse. But here comes Robopocalypse! They will not only eat your brains but also your cats.

I wish I was funnier.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! I get it! What wonders~! The big picture! Woohoo!

I wish I was quite a looker in real life.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Now everyone speaks the same language, share same culture! Have fun with findinga new occupation, Looker, who happens to be diverse languages scholar who can fluently speak 12 different languages (English, French, German, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, Korean, Malaysian, Maori, Italian, Spanish, Polish).

I wish for Abominable Snowman to exist in this world.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! We do! But you soon get bored and starts a drug cartel and later gets assassinated by Cambodian assassin who you personally raised since the age of 3.

I wish more people would donate their blood.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! I'll help. But in order to spoil this wish, I lied.

I wish for a cruise trip where I will NOT meet my demise.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You pay 10 dollars for one cup and it turns out it was spiked with date rape drug.
The girl scouts sell you to slavery in France high-class society where you end up doing sword swallowing to please your masters.

I wish for more supporters for this: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=23094

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It's taken off your head but while doing that half of your brain goes through critical injury.

I wish for more supporters for this: http://forum.mafiascum.net/viewtopic.ph ... 9#p4322239

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You cannot undo what you've already done, but you can try your best to fix it! You lick them all up. Thanks buddy!

I wish I could win the KOTH Image Edition this time.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You go batshit crazy for it and start beating up everyone for it.

I wish it wasn't just the two of us in this thread...

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! That's why you have me!

I wish I rock in that game.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You learn Korean and get sentenced to lifetime in Guantanamo for being a N.Korean spy.

I wish for a nice coconut powdered chocolate donut that's not going to kill anyone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You fly and get plane-crashed. Hit and run ftw!

I wish for X-ray vision that allows me to view through the clothes only.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You brutally murder her and dump her body somewhere so that no-one would ever find out! Her ghost though has other plans for you. She borrows your body for the rest of your physical life.

I wish to work for S.H.I.E.L.D.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Your 83 year old English teacher will always stay by your side to guide you through the life of perfect spelling. Always.

I wish for a change.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You win them and you go on 8pm news. Everyone "WOWs" at your skill. Wow.

I wish to finish quick so that I can get some sleep.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You become immune to cold and the government captures you and drains your DNA for research purposes.

I wish to participate in an interesting experiment.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You have approximately 0.0001 seconds more than normal. Lucky bastard. It's so unfair how some people have more time than others.

I wish for my concerns to magically disappear, making me happy for the rest of my life.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You are now locked up in maximum security prison located on the moon.

I wish for bacon.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Yes.

I wish for success.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You get it, spend it and live it! But then just to spoil your wish, it turned out to be a mistake. That money was no college grant.
It was the Irish mob's money. You work as their bartender for the rest of your life to pay them off.

I wish for a girlfriend from the different ethnic group to mine.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. But not today, pal. Not today.

I wish someone gifts me Fifty Shades of Grey and its sequels because I'm ashamed to buy them on my own.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! And surprise! It's not poisoned. You drink it, walks for 5 metres and get hit by a wild koala. And you die.

I wish for platypus invasion in NZ.


p.s: Is Fifty Shades of Grey for old ladies?

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Err, yeah. Keep it up (actually don't).

I wish for alligator steak for my dinner.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! Everyone wants to hear you sing, so you become the first ever: People's Singer Slave.
You sing nonstop for 30 years of your life in a 2 cubic meters glass cage and die...alone...forgotten...tired...

I wish for instructions of my life.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You should play for starters...and the victory shall follow.

I wish for high capacity.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! She comes back with vengeance!

I wish for 10000th post in this thread.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In another life, in another time. (actually, he could just edit his post and post some more about Lance, if that's what you really want)

I wish to stop.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! In another time, in another place. Maybe another person.

I wish for extra 30 minutes in my exams.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! He's

69

years old!

I don't want to make a wish since it's going to be spoilt anyways.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted!

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You choke on one of the cubes and die. When the cops arrive, they don't see the reason why you were killed because the ice melted. They announce your death a homicide and arrest your cat.

I wish for Friday night.

[drmyshotgun]

I wish for the simpler times.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You host Russian Roulette and you are the first one to go for it. Naturally, you die.

I wish for x-ray vision.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You prison break, but is shot down after three minutes of enjoying your freedom. Your "friends" leave you in the hopes of police going after you instead of themselves.

I wish for B+ or higher.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You win big and then you get kidnapped by the Triad. In order to survive, you act like a monkey which leads you to earn their trust and eventually your freedom after 13 years of living in captivity. You write this story in your biography and it becomes a mega-hit. Steven Spielberg adapts your story for his film and name it: The Strange MonkeyCoug.

I wish to see that movie.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You make that face and your mom punches you in the face.

I wish for everlasting love.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! To drive into your home.

I wish for the ability to see through cloths with my bare eyes.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You become a villain of the setting of whatever comic you wished to live in. When you die, you die for real.

Granted! It eats you whole and slowly melts you down inside its intestines. All while you are still alive, of course.

I wish for a picture.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You forgot to write your name on the paper.

I wish to venture into the land where no man has been before.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It gets discovered that you spent exactly $1299.98 to bribe the moderator in every game you join. You get sent to prison and they actually hang you. You flipped scum because you rigged your role from the very beginning.

I wish I did 10 good things today.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! They taste so good you try to shove 26 of them at once and choke to death. Your parents sue the Oreo company and they lose.

I wish for a pet alligator that will not eat/kill/hurt anyone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! After you pay them what you own

them

. Approximately $3000000, Coug. Pay up. Your parents' lawyers are batting their grapefruit sized eyes at you.

I wish for faster internet.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Whatever that was.

I wish to get over it.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You die of food poisoning.

I wish for a plane ticket to Korea.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! It costs you $4,000,000.

I wish for more time.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! NCEA? Good luck for real.

I wish for a new phone.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted! You are traumatized forever.

I wish for more channels.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. You are assassinated a day after this wish has been granted.

I wish to make 1000 more wishes to be granted.

[drmyshotgun]

Granted. Whatever that was.

I wish for more seaweed crackers.