Age Of Empires 2
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Bioshock
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Goldeneye 007
Gran Turismo 3
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Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts 2
Lemmings
Mario Kart 64
Mass Effect 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
Oblivion
Pokemon Gold/Silver
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Portal
Portal 2
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri
Star Fox 64
Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic
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Super Mario 64
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Super Mario Galaxy
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Tetris
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Worms Armageddon
Zelda - Link To The Past
Zelda - Majora'a mask
Zelda - Ocarina Of Time
There will be no kisses tonight
There will be no holding hands tonight
'Cause what is now wasn't there before and should not be
I realized that I was planting seeds, and that it was important to stay low-key, because once you say, 'I've got it' or 'This is it,' then resistance starts to build. But, if you start giving away seeds, people will claim their seeds. Some nurture them and grow them, and that makes a foundational change.
I realized that I was planting seeds, and that it was important to stay low-key, because once you say, 'I've got it' or 'This is it,' then resistance starts to build. But, if you start giving away seeds, people will claim their seeds. Some nurture them and grow them, and that makes a foundational change.
I realized that I was planting seeds, and that it was important to stay low-key, because once you say, 'I've got it' or 'This is it,' then resistance starts to build. But, if you start giving away seeds, people will claim their seeds. Some nurture them and grow them, and that makes a foundational change.
#Dynamic Importing
imports = []
for each in os.listdir():
if '.py' in each and 'cmd_' in each[0:3]:
each = each.split('.')[0]
try:
exec('{0} = __import__({0})'.format(each))
imports+=each
except:
exit()
Disclaimer : Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Ramen belongs to Naruto. Enough said.
"Tatsujin Hiroshi ?"
"Present."
"Uzumaki Naruto ?"
"Here."
"Karakara ?"
Said student raised her hand.
"Muremaru ?"
"Hai."
"Perfect. Now, both as your primary instructor and as your ninjutsu teacher, I welcome you all to this year at the Konoha Ninja Academy. For all of you new students, my name is Umino Iruka and teaching ninjutsu is my specialty. To those of you returning for another year here, my job is to iron out whatever deficiencies you have and make you all better ninjas."
Said teacher looked around as most of the class nodded. A quick look around revealed easily the state of the class. Bigger than the previous one, which was somewhat unexpected. It was the first class whose starting student would have been born for sure after the Kyūbi.
The lack of members from preeminent shinobi families was also telling. Since none of the clan-born students from the previous year had failed to pass, there was only a branch Hyūga and a male member of the Kurama family currently in the room.
As for returners, there were ten, Naruto not included. That was higher than average and a good thing in the chūnin's mind, as Konoha needed the manpower.
"Now, I'd like for everyone returning for a new year to raise their hands. There's no shame in that, as there's always more students graduating than jōnin available for mentoring."
One by one the returners raised their hands. Naruto also did, and Iruka was proud of the fact that none of his other selves even twitched. It probably had helped that this wasn't the first time he'd gone through this ritual.
"To those who are in their first attempt, these are the students who have a good clue on how to proceed. I'll try to make myself available as much as possible, but unfortunately there's only one of me. If I'm too busy or I'm out of reach, ask around. I'm pretty sure you can find someone who can help you in this class."
Only a few nodded this time. Muremaru, the male Naruto clone, was one of them, but not the female one.
"Now, another show of hands. Outside those who are returning, raise your hand if any of you have already had some kind of official ninja instruction."
A good half of the class responded, with Ariko as one of them. Which meant...
"Those who haven't ?"
Only six people had their hands up, Muremaru included.
He nodded. "There's no shame in any of this, either. I personally was barely trained before coming to the academy, and I'm the one teaching you now. The most important thing each of you needs is effort. As long as you train hard and study hard, passing the required exams will be a certainty." (As long as you don't have some kind of birth defect like Rock Lee, he mentally added.)
"Now, as I said before, I'll be teaching you ninjutsu, and General ninja knowledge along with that. We'll be seeing each other every morning, along with..."
Two small thumps in her hair said it all.
Incoming.
"What a cute bunny ! Where did you find it ?"
The Naruto clone known as Ariko turned to the side to find five girls right beside her. One was looking at her face, but all the rest were cooing over Ichibō who was in his customary place sitting upon her head.
'So that's what he meant.' She mused.
"I didn't. My father bought it for me as an acceptance present."
"Lucky you !" The lead girl, and the only one who had looked at Ariko's face, cried out. "I only wished my father was as generous as yours." She brought out her hand out of her pocket to shake. "Suzuki Fumichi"
"Mori Nishi"
"Hayabashi Asano"
"Okita Mihoshi"
"And Kimura Ringo"
"Jōdan Ariko. And the little guy upstairs is Ichibō." It had been cleared with him. Ariko could use his real name. From what he said, it had been more than fifteen years since he'd been summoned, anyway.
"Can he do anything ?" Asano said.
"I don't know." The bunshin answered. She wasn't supposed to be much of a ninja, yet. "My father said he was a ninja bunny, though."
"A ninja bunny ? Where did he get it ?"
"Somewhere in grass, I think."
One left front leg thump. Yes.
"He agrees."
"How ?" asked Mihoshi.
"He seems to understand everything quite normally." She pointed toward the rabbit. "Ichibō, say yes again."
Said rabbit once again hit the clone's head with his left front paw.
"How intelligent." responded Fumichi. The rest were also looking at the animal in obvious awe.
"The other paw's no. That's pretty much all he does, for now."
That was quite false. The real Naruto had been working with Ichibō near full time since the last council meeting on silent communication. It wasn't up to the point of actual language, but by combining thumps from all four legs with specific noises, the rabbit could pass simple messages to the clone (or ninja) working as his perch. Naruto's side of the bargain was all in the fingers, snapping some either in the air or against the other hand.
"So, what does your father do ?" said Ringo.
"Merchant." She answered instantly. They had been part of her persona's set-up.
"What kind ?" asked Nishi.
That hadn't. Ariko answered the first thing that came to mind. "Clothing." She had been looking at the pattern on the lead girl's clothes at that time.
"Like your kunoichi outfit ?"
"No, civilian clothing." She'd bought her outfit in Konoha, so couldn't say that it was from her father. "He's rarely in Konoha, actually."
"Why ?"
"Most of his work is in Grass. We live on this side of the border with it, but that's where he does most of his sales."
"Then why did you come here, instead of Grass ?" said the leading girl.
"Father doesn't hold the ninjas there in high esteem, from what I can tell. He prefers dealing with those from Konoha instead."
All the girls smiled in pride at their village.
"You will have your father bring some of his best stuff, won't you ?" said Asano.
"But..." Ariko answered.
"Yeah, I wanna see the top fashions of Grass." added Mihoshi.
"I..."
"I'm sure they are better that the boring ones we see every day in Konoha"
"Wait..."
"Come on, it'll be fun !" completed the apparent leader of the group.
By the time lunch was over, Ariko's cover was as near fool-proof as it could have been. However, the girls had managed to wheedle out of Ariko the promise of a show featuring his father's wares.
Naruto had also learned one thing about women, that she's preferred having known before making that decision about her father.
Never get between women and fashion.
Ichibō, on his side, had passed the majority of said time hitting the back of the female clone's head with the digits of his left hind paw, all while purring.
Meaning, in their language 'I am laughing at this situation.'
Well, good for him.
"Good day students. My name is Hyōjin Kiritori and I will be teaching you both Taijutsu and weapon throwing." The chūnin said in his usual even tone. "We will usually have two periods together, one before lunch and one before leaving for the day."
The class nodded.
"First, I will evaluate you, to see where you stand and what to fix. Please split into two groups, with those who have already gone through a year at this academy on one side and the rest on the other."
The class split itself as asked, and the teacher started with those returning. He did each person in the group before coming to Naruto.
Only a person who would have known Kiritori for a long time could have noticed the very slight tightening of the eyes the man had upon coming to stand beside the bearer of the Kyūbi's seal.
"You have already done more than a year in the academy, have you not ?"
"Yes." Naruto said, standing ramrod straight under the man's intense gaze. He hadn't been that way with Muremaru, but now the blond boy found his teacher quite intimidating.
"Show me the first kata of the academy style, then."
It took a moment for Naruto to remember what that meant, but he wasted no time once he did. He performed it just as Mizuki had taught it.
"Horrible. Watch me." The man answered.
Said person performed the kata. Naruto quickly picked up quite a few differences that made the exercise much more fluid that he'd ever seen before.
"Now, can you repeat what I just did ?" Kiritori said once he was done.
Naruto did, to the best of his ability. It visibly wasn't enough.
"Bring your left foot towards the right." The man said as he performed the exercise. "Shift your center of balance a little lower. Extend less in the third movement. The sixth must start lower."
"Now, repeat that kata while fixing those holes until I tell you otherwise. And trust me, if you stop." The chūnin lowered his face right next to that of his student. "I will know."
Naruto started over again, trying to fix the mistakes pointed out, while the teacher went to the other group.
Ariko was one of the first to pass on her side. The chūnin was much less cold and rigid with her, but had her practicing the first kata nonetheless. He did physically help her in the placement of her limbs, however.
As Kiritori came to Muremaru, the teacher found the boy already performing the first kata. Near perfectly, even.
"Very good." The man said, with a very slight smile upon his lips. It was good to have his hopes confirmed. "The only issue I see is a block an inch too high on the seventh movement."
Muremaru redid the whole thing, this time perfectly.
His teacher nodded. "Try this one then." And he launched himself in the second kata of the academy taijutsu.
He then left Muremaru to his own devices, continuing with the other students.
By the time the first part of the class was done, Muremaru was up to the fourth kata, while most had started on the second. The teacher hadn't let Naruto move on from the first, however.
"Uzumaki Naruto"
Said boy straigthened from his seat. What had he done now ?
"Don't think I haven't noticed the message you just passed. Did you think that since this was the first day, I wouldn't notice ?" Kazuhi, the maths and history teacher, yelled out.
"You will put the cap as always and go stand in the corner as usual." He added, as some students started laughing at the blond's predicament. "You will stay there facing the wall until the end of the class, where I will find a suitable punishment for you."
Naruto, now in the corner, sighted. This was pretty much life as usual in this class. Nearly every day Kazuhi found an excuse to send him in the corner, and continued the class as if nothing happened. A few students always snickered at him, but they went unpunished, while he would join anybody in the corner if he did the same.
The man was a master of double standards, visibly.
Worse was that the chūnin was a teacher who wrote out his lesson on the board instead of explaining orally, so the punishment meant he missed nearly an entire class each time this happened. It might just have been Kazuhi's way of teaching, but Naruto was pretty much persuaded that the man went that way just to hinder him as much as possible.
A class like that was always long, and he'd learned that the punishment was always worse if he didn't wait for the teacher to acknowledge the end of the class before leaving the corner.
When he did, however, the man was waiting for him. As always.
"As punishment, since this isn't your first offense..." First this year, maybe, but not in total. "You will write down 'I will not bother other students' until I come back. You will unfortunately..." And his face visibly showed that he didn't find it unfortunate at all. "Be missing your next class. I will be back after the teacher's meeting, and I'll keep you here if I find you haven't written enough. Is that understood ?"
Naruto nodded, grinding his teeth.
"Good. I will see you later." He then left the class.
Naruto nearly tossed the stick of chalk in his hand at the teacher in retaliation, but stopped himself when a better idea came to mind.
Yes...
"So room and board in exchange for help serving the customers five days a week, is that correct ?" said a Naruto Clone in the shape of a mousy brown-haired girl of seventeen.
"You got it, girl !" answer the owner of the restaurant, an heavyset tanned man in his thirties.
"Deal then." The clone said, bringing his hand forward.
They shook on it, and the clone was shown to her room. It was small, a little smaller than Naruto's original bedroom, but it would do. There already was a bed and a desk, and she would eat downstairs in the restaurant itself. More than enough.
She was the third clone in this city, which happened to be the grass capital. She was the only girl, and the two previous already had jobs, one in a building in construction and the other at a caravan dock. They made more money than her, even including her easy access to food, but were pretty much in the same situation as she was.
As she was straightening her bed, a burst of memories came through her head. This was bizarre, as the original had instituted a near-complete memory-exchange silence during the hours where the three main clones were in school, with only urgent messages being transmitted. It was the first message since classes started, so she wondered what it would be.
Then she laughed.
Laughing at one's own mistakes and at falling prey to pranks had become a necessary survival skill to clones, as Kage Bunshins pranking each other meant that one would get both sides of the deal. Laughing at one's own misfortune came soon after, as sometimes one got the prey's side long before the prankster's.
So she laughed, all the while thinking of how to fulfill the expectations of those Konoha girls. She had passed a few clothing stores on the way, but hadn't paid much attention. This time she would, and hopefully a clone in Konoha would do the same. It wouldn't do not to have a point of comparison.
Iruka stepped in the academy's meeting room a little anxious. This was make it or break it day for Naruto and his clones, and his mind had sent him treacherous images of meetings where the other teachers spoke of infiltration assignments, and guessed at which village was the cause.
He hoped it was only his creativity playing with him and not some kind of premonition.
He was quickly joined by both Kazuhi and Kiritori, the first smiling and the second as impassable as usual.
As head teacher, it was his job to open the discussion, so he did. "We have thirty six students this year, the first full class since my arrival in the academy's service. Any issue with specific students ?"
"None whatsoever." answered the Taijutsu teacher. "I've tested just about every student in both throwing and academy kata, and can see no issue with the student as of now. It is of course too early to tell if any have specific issues that will need to be resolved, but everything is as it should for now."
"Good." Iruka nodded. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear." That is, no issue with the clones. "How about you, Kazuhi ?"
"Nothing unusual. The Uzumaki boy was once again disturbing the peace by passing messages, and is being punished for it right now." He said, then turned towards Kiritori. "You did receive the message I had sent to you, correct ?"
"Correct." Kiritori answered.
Iruka found it bizarre that Naruto would do such a thing. Especially since his usual partners in crime, Kiba and Shikamaru, were no longer in class. "I will note this in the boy's record." Afterhe'dconfirmed it with said boy, of course. "Anything else ?"
Kiritori answered no in a movement of his head. The maths teacher, however, was more verbal. "Nope, everything as usual."
"Then this meeting is over. We'll meet tomorrow at the same time."
Both nodded and rose, leaving in the next step. The head teacher on his side took a moment to unwind. Everything was as planned. The clones hadn't failed in their job, and had infiltrated the school without issue.
On one side the chūnin was glad of this, as this meant Naruto had this much more chance of passing, while another was dismayed a little that this had been so easy. While Naruto was good at what he did, this also showed how easy it was to infiltrate this academy. He'd have to make sure to fix this, at least as soon as Naruto and his clones were out of the academy.
Yup, that's what he'd do.
"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH !"
Iruka was interrupted in his musings by that hard yelling. Jumping out of his chair, he surged through the door, running full pace until he arrived at the maths classroom, where his college was standing, still raging.
After a quick look that the other teacher was fine, Iruka turned towards the classroom. And instantly had to hold his laughter back, as it would instantly destroy whatever trust Kazuhi had for him. It was evident who had gone through here.
On every surface of the class the words 'I will not bother other students' were written. And by every surface he really meant EVERY SURFACE. In chalk on both the blackboards, in ink on each poster and each visible sheet of paper. In paint on the ceiling, walls, and on every single tile of the floor.
Stepping inside the class, Iruka went to the teacher's desk and grabbed the maths book there. Looking through it, he saw how throughout his protégé had been : Every single page was now impossible to read due to the words on every page. A quick check at two random books in a closet at the back of the class showed the same.
"That boy must be punished harshly for this." Kazuhi yelled.
"That boy ?" Kiritori said as he reached his collegue. "You think a single boy made this ?"
"I must say it sound preposterous." Iruka added, still holding back his laughter. "It would take at least ten, if not twenty people acting in concert to manage such a thing." The head teacher thanked god right there that barely anyone knew of Naruto's skill in the Kage Bunshin. Hopefully it would stay that way for a while.
"I agree." added the taijutsu teacher.
"Well, he was the one alone in here being punished." responded the maths educator.
"I would find it more plausible that a group of people entered the room after this student left, and defaced this class hoping for this very result. I have no liking for the Uzumaki boy, but I won't have him punished for something he visibly couldn't have done." said the Taijutsu teacher.
"Well, at the very least, he's going to be the one cleaning it." answered Kazuhi.
"And why is that ?" said Iruka.
"He was supposed to stay in the room until I came back. And if it is as you said..." he added, looking at Kiritori. "This wouldn't have happened if he'd been still there."
"True. I will not oppose that."
"Then I'll have Naruto here before classes start to clean up." He couldn't go against both like that, and even there he wouldn't. One should clean up his messes, and that Naruto knew that well.
Iruka arrived in the council room to find every single Naruto there laughing. He was pretty sure what they were laughing at.
"I must admit, Naruto, you haven't lost your touch. But you do know that you'll have to clean everything up tomorrow, don't you ?"
The group looked at each other and started another and started another round of laughter, while a single one, which I expected was the real Naruto, answered. "No worries, I planned it that way."
The chūnin took the last empty place at the table, and Naruto started the meeting. "Welcome, all, to the meeting of those in the know. Today was the first day at the academy and, as such, the first day our prank is live. First, Iruka, status report. No suspicion amongst the teachers ?"
"None." The teacher answered, smiling. Naruto was doing well in a leadership position. "The only discussion I had with the other educators was about your prank. Nothing else came up."
"Perfect."
"I do have a few questions."
"Ask away." The real one said, while the others turned towards the chūnin.
"Did you really do anything to disturb Kazuhi's class ?"
"No." "Nope." "No, sensei." Answered simultaneously Naruto, Ariko and Muremaru.
"Nothing like that." answered Ichibō. "It was the blond boy two desk left of Naruto who threw a paper under his desk."
"Tall as this..." Iruka held his hand at a specific height in the air. "Wears glasses ?"
"Yes."
"Then I know who it is." He responded gravely. That was a returning student, and the teacher was pretty sure that he'd done it exactly to get this result. "I'll take care of this."
"Don't worry about it, sensei." said the original student. "It is better if it stays that way. Less pressure on the two others."
Iruka nodded, even if he didn't agree. He was going to mount a file against every single abuse of power recorded against Naruto, even if he wasn't going to be able to use it while said boy was in school. He was pretty sure the Hokage would want to know, anyway.
"Anything else ?" asked the Naruto upon which Ichibō was standing.
"No, nothing else."
"So, second point : Ariko's error." Upon which moment said bunshin yelled "Hey !". "We need to bring up what she promised."
"What she promised ?" said Iruka.
"Ariko made the mistake of saying that her father was a clothes merchant from Grass..." Muremaru said in a way much closer to the one the real Naruto uses, but with a different tone. "Before a group of girls asking questions about Ichibō. They ended up managing to have Ariko promise them a show of her father's best clothes before long."
"Suzuki Fumichi, Mori Nishi, Hayabashi Asano and Kimura Ringo ?" the chūnin asked.
"Yup, those and Okita Mihoshi"
Iruka laughed at that. He heard about those. Where most of the kunoichi in the year previous had been boy-obsessed, or even Sasuke-obsessed, those four were already known to be fashion-obsessed. And they'd gotten a new member too.
It was probably the worst choice of profession to say. Outside fashion designer, maybe.
The rest of the bunshins ended up joining in the laughter, even Ariko, and it lasted a good minute.
"To continue." Naruto said. "We'll need to have a number of clones looking at the fashions of Konoha for comparison. I'm appointing that task to you both." He pointed at the two civilian clones, Kumori and Kokuei.
The two nodded.
"We've already received confirmation messages from the clones in Grass, including a few memories of current fashions, so that side is taken care of. When you find something, have Anei or Jinei make the trip to Grass." They nodded again.
"Good. Anything else about school ?"
All the clones either answered or shook their heads no, while Iruka raised his voice. "A question actually."
"Go on."
"What's your opinion about Kiritori, the new teacher ?" he said, looking directly at the real Naruto.
"Strict with me, actually, much more than with the others." he answered. "But no real complaint. He's doing his job a hundred times better than Mizuki ever did." Mizuki tended towards ignoring Naruto, all the while appearing friendly when alone with Naruto. The boy now saw it for what it was, that is a way of sabotaging him while not affecting the rest of the class.
"He knows what he teaches." added Muremaru. "He's a better Taijutsu teacher than any we ever had."
"I'll second that." said Ariko.
"Then we can consider that matter closed." said Naruto as leader of the meeting, and Iruka left it at that. It would have to be good enough. "The next point : the clone network." He pointed at a group of three bunshins with twice as much paper in front of them as the others. "That's your show."
"Yes," said a clone in the middle, while unrolling a few maps. "Here's the latest."
The first map was one of Fire Country, while the second and third were both respectively of the east and west borders of said country. There were dots on all maps, though much more on the first. The only region outside the Land of Fire that had a large number of dots was Grass.
"As you can probably guess, the dots are the various places we have clones stationed. Most of them luckily have managed to find either jobs or shelter, if not both, but we have more than a dozen still looking. Said jobs are mainly physical work, especially for male clones, or the service industry in the case of females."
"None in the kind of service I am thinking of, I hope." the original Naruto said.
"No, but a few were asked. The closest we have to that is a bunshin working in a massage place."
"Good." said a few clones. The rest nodded.
Iruka, however, had not yet moved his face from the maps. At first he'd tried to count the dots, but quickly gave up on that as impossible. Looking wider at the regions didn't help.
He shook his head quickly to try to focus, and to dispel whatever illusion was in front of him. It didn't help. Naruto really was saying that he had clones in over half Fire Country.
"This is really true ?" The chūnin said, looking up at the trio. All three nodded solemnly.
"Mind if I test that ?"
"How ?" said the one in the middle.
He pointed at a dot at seemingly random. "Who's the one there ?"
Two of the clones in the trio turned to the one on the left, who started looking into a large ledger he'd been carrying. It took a few moments, but he came back with an answer.
"Two clones there. Brothers. They go by the name of Mizuno. Both work in the gold mines there. Eldest is Ichiro, youngest is Taro. They live together in a small room they rented at their supervisor's suggestion. Started working there yesterday." He looked up from his reading. "Is that enough for you ?"
Iruka nodded numbly. He'd chosen that place as he'd once done a mission there, one of his last as a chūnin outside the academy. It fit what he knew of the place.
That meant this whole map thing wasn't a prank on him by Naruto.
"Did you really manage to have Kage Bunshins in half of the country in close to a week ? How ?"
The original Naruto quickly looked around. "How about I answer that afterwards, Sensei ? I kinda want to finish this meeting as quickly as possible."
Thinking for a second, Iruka realized that Naruto was afraid that people outside would notice that either the two ninja clones or the two civilian clones were missing. He personally thought that this had a very low possibility, but there was little lost in humouring the blond.
"Ok."
"Good, then last point..." he said, once again sounding like a leader. "Civilian, that's you. What's been happening since the last meeting ?"
"We finally have the place we wanted, and are starting to make it ready for the shop. It cost us quite a bit more than expected, as the original owner haggled as much as possible for it. We ended up having to go over him to his boss to get anywhere." said the boy, Kokuei.
"We will be starting civilian school sometime this week, as soon as the paperwork goes through." added her 'sister' Kumori. "We should be starting to look for wares to selling either tomorrow or the very next day."
"Good." said the Naruto serving as a seat to Ichibō. "Hopefully everything will be perfect by the next meeting. Anyone has anything else to add ?"
Silence answered him.
"Good, then this meeting is now closed. The next one will be in three days, where I'll be summoning Nanabō-oh, so be ready to explain things if needed, ok ?"
"Ok." "Sure." "Yup." The mass of copies answered, and then left their seats one by one, leaving only the original, Ichibō and Iruka in the room.
"Now, about this explanation..." asked the chūnin.
"Can we talk while walking ?" Naruto responded, rising.
"While walking ?"
"You wanted me to fix the mess I made in Kazuhi's class, no ?"
He was silent for a moment. "Yes, right." He said, rising. He'd completely forgotten about it for now.
"Ichibō, stay here. I'll be back as soon as I'm done." Naruto added towards his rider.
Said rabbit jumped off. "Be back soon." he said, waving.
Naruto did not start talking until the two of them were in the tunnels. "Now, explaining..." He said. "How much do you know about the Kage Bunshin ?"
The teacher opened his mouth to answer, only to close it back up less than a second later. "Not much I must say." he finally responded.
"Now, I've been doing tests with this technique ever since I learned it, and I'm probably one of the people who know this technique the best." the student said. "So I know that calling it only a clone is like saying a ninja is only a soldier. It is, in a way, true, but only a part of the whole."
"The Kage Bunshin is a jutsu that makes a copy of everything the user is as a shell to contain an amount or raw chakra. Depending on how real you make the shell, it will both consume more chakra to maintain itself, and be an exact copy deeper."
"Deeper ?"
"Yup, deeper." Making a sign with both hands, he summoned a single clone beside him. "Look."
The clone took his kunai and started cutting his way into his hand. For an instant Iruka even saw bone, before blood obscured his vision. The clone dispelled itself soon afterwards.
"See ?"
He did. But that wasn't what had stuck to his mind. "How come it didn't dispel itself from the damage ?"
"Because I made it more real. It burns chakra like water though, and it wouldn't have lasted more than ten minutes at that." the boy answered. "The ones usually created have nothing but a paper-thin layer that's real, and that's why they're dispelled so easily. The ones I make now have a few millimetres of real surface, which is what I found the best in terms of toughness to time ratio."
"Along with all of that is a copy of the user's mind and memories, so that the clone can act independently and use whatever skills its creator has."
"That still doesn't explain how you managed to build a network like yours in a week."
"I'm getting there." he answered. "Now what makes my clones dangerous is that they have a way of draining chakra. And that there's chakra everywhere."
"Everywhere ?"
"Everywhere. Trees have chakra. Grass has chakra. Even the air has chakra ! It's different from human chakra, or so my clones say, but they can subsist on it."
"Now let's imagine one of my clones on a road. He basically has as much chakra as it wants, since it can drain the very environment when he needs. Say this clone makes another every time the road forks. How many clones will there be in the end ?"
"One for every fork on the road." Iruka answered quickly.
"Nope. One for every fork on every road. Because the copy made at the first fork will also make a clone when it gets to a fork, as will every clone he makes. And every clone his clones make. And every clone..."
"I think I got it now" the chūnin said, stopping his student. It wasn't addition, it was multiplication. No wonder Naruto had been able to do so much in so little time. "Why haven't you taken over the village or something ? With the manpower you have it would be easy."
"Cause the clones aren't without their weaknesses. Even removing damage, they are naturally weak against chakra."
"How so ?"
"You know the genjutsu dispelling method ?" the chūnin nodded. Naruto made another clone. "Use it on this one."
He did, not expecting anything, and was surprised when the bunshin burst into smoke. "Why ?"
"Simple. Most applications of chakra on the shell that is a clone disturb his containment ability, dispelling it. Someone powerful enough could actually go around dispelling hundreds at will, and it's not like ninja villages lack people who know how. The main reason my clones can spread easily like this is that nobody tests if they are real."
"Security through obscurity, really."
The teacher nodded.
"And now that we're there I'm going to show you another thing I found about the Kage Bunshin jutsu."
'There ?' A quick look around revealed to Iruka that the two of them were but a dozen meters from the academy, and he hadn't even noticed. He'd just focused on Naruto's words, and didn't realize the distance they were covering.
It seemed that Naruto could make an efficient teacher, also.
Unlocking the door, Iruka led the academy student to the class he had pranked. Opening the door and the lights, he motioned Naruto to come inside.
"Now, what else did you want to show me ?" He said, smiling. His favorite student was still full of surprises. He wondered for an instant if he could manage to have Naruto teach him his favorite technique.
"Watch." Naruto took a marker from the teacher's desk, put it in his pocket, then made another clone.
"And what is so special about this ?"
The clone took out the marker, uncapped it, and started doodling on a desk, making the words already there illegible.
"Hey !" Iruka yelled, but his student silenced him with a simple sign of the hand. The clone quickly finished his job, covering half the desk with black ink, then turned towards its summoner.
"Two minutes ?" it asked.
"Perfect." Naruto answered. The clone then dispelled itself.
And the desk was back in its original, albeit written-on, state.
"How ?" Iruka said, once again. This seemed to be his word of the day.
"When you make a clone, you clone everything. You don't summon a naked, weapon less copy, do you ?"
"No."
"Well, a Kage Bunshin is the same. Everything is copied. That also means that everything disappears once the clone does, which include paint, ink and the like. Watch."
The both of them waited for a minute, then everything written, outside of the lines on the board, vanished without a trace.
"The only issue with cloning objects is that the objects have the same resistance as the clone, that is to say none. And dispelling an object dispels the clone, along with every object that was created with it. That's why one doesn't clone food." That was actually how Naruto had found out : A clone had offered 'cloned' ramen to a group of bunshins, planning to dispel itself once they were all eating. The joke turned on him when he disappeared after the first bite.
After looking around one last time, the teacher turned towards the student. "Then I grade you A plus in pranking, with a perfect score. Surprising, efficient, harmless while not seeming so, and easily removed. I'll tell the other teachers that I had you come during the night to clean it off." He smiled, and then ruffled Naruto's hair with his hand.
"Now go. I'm pretty sure Ichibō's waiting for you, and that you have a lot to do."
Teacher and student then each went their own way, both with a smile on his face.
Happy 2011 everyone, and to all a great year.
As a New Year's gift to you I have a small challenge. There's a little hidden joke in some of the names of the new characters, that I ended up placing for fun. I am giving naming rights to the next original character (Please, at least something sounding even remotely japanese) to the first person who finds it. I read every single review or PM, so I'll find out either way.
To the few who asked about using names, characters or concepts from my stories, you have permission as long as you credit me for what you take.
I shall protect you!! 