Be a jerk to the above poster

[CuddlyCaucasian]

i give you surprise cake but i secretly cut off your legs and cooked them in the cake beforehand

[theaceofspades]

secretly? i think i'd notice if you cut my legs off. And anyway. i'm delicious!

I soak your clothes in nut oils. You are nibbled to death by a horde of squirrels.

[Bowser]

i unleash the man-eating dogs on you.

[StrangerCoug]

I hire a hit man to kill you.

[T S O]

I command your mother to wear a dress covered with my cum.

[Klazam]

I command you to eat that dress

[StrangerCoug]

I cut the cord to the chandelier over your head.

[Kazekirimaru]

I replace every cutting tool you own with salisbury steak.

[theaceofspades]

that's a bad thing?

i remove your teeth

[StrangerCoug]

I remove your head.

[D3f3nd3r]

I remove your soul from your body. And then I behead you.

[StrangerCoug]

I stack the deck in poker so that you never get a hand higher than a pair of tens.

[theaceofspades]

ALL IN!!!!

i remove your pants, and cast a spell that means you can never put on another pair

[Kazekirimaru]

I reprogram every television in your house so it only plays reruns of Bonanza on full-volume 24 hours a day.

[theaceofspades]

When God was main you and me, we waited in line for him to hand out the good stuff such as talent humor, good looks, not being fat. some people like Jennifer Lawrence, and Annette Olzon got a lot of stuff some like the hobo down the street got only slimness. I was drinking a strawberry smoothie. Which I spilled on your white robe, meaning that you were in the bathroom trying to clean yourself up when your turn came, adn all the good stuff that was to be given to you, was instead given to me.

[StrangerCoug]

I stop reading everything you post.

[Kazekirimaru]

I stare at you uncomfortably.

[T S O]

I give you the eyes of death. Then you die.

[StrangerCoug]

Oh, uhh... Your toilet was clogged, so I went in your vase.

[T S O]

Your toilet was clogged, so I went in your mum.

[StrangerCoug]

I castrate you for putting that disturbing image in my head.

[Feirei]

I summon undead hands from beyond the beyond to pop up from the grounds and carry you down under...

[StrangerCoug]

I siphon all the gas out of your car.

[Kazekirimaru]

I eat you.

[RichardGHP]

I drink you.