The Bachelor - {Episode 2 Rose Ceremony}

[Klick]

I'm sorry, CC,
but seventeen syllables
is not enough for

[Aronis]

Forever and ever
I will never stop loving you
If you choose me

[D3f3nd3r]

People do not get
How to write a true haiku
Five, seven, five, geez.

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Counting is so hard!
I don't need a math major,
Just passionate love.

[Wall-E]

My haikus are the worst
Every line the very worst
this line's not too bad

[Zebulin]

I promise to play
the one alcoholic girl
out in the first round

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Episode 1

What's Love Got To Do With It?

One by one, all the beautiful suitors walk out of their limousines toward the CuddlyCaumansion. The decent-looking ones come too! CuddlyCaucasian struts out the door with attitude and a mission: decide which one of these young Juliets wrote him the best love letter.

Spoiler: First Impression Rose

Gamsimbre did try
But he decided to leave
Why does he hate us?

I don't want a man who only dwells on the past, how can I trust you to care about our future?

"Cuddly Caucasian:
Pretty fly for a white guy"
Says all the girlies.

Oh Axxle, flattery will get you everywhere! And the tie-in to my username was pretty nice.

CuddlyCaucasian
Please prepare to be bachelor'd
Like never before

I'm not exactly sure what "bachelor'd" implies, but it sounds kinky. You weren't the first to open with my username though, so how will I know you won't always just be like everyone else?

I'm not creative
But I want to play this game
This is my haiku

Well I definitely appreciate the honesty here! I really love someone who can keep it simple and be mine without always having to be over the top.

First I saw your face
And it was over for me
Now it's everywhere.

Why is already over? We haven't even begun!

CC, see the sea
what do you see in the sea?
Is it Jelly...fish?

Wow, this is very poetic. And flawless reasoning here.

Oh my Zod! Yu...mi?
I'm Happy, you Vast Dufus!
Love's Far; Luck To Ya.

If you made that any more of a stretch, I would have assumed you were Elastigirl! Although I love Elastigirl, I don't know how far we'll get together if all you can do is talk about me, instead of

us

.

I am your girlfriend
And am gonna lose this game
Don't make fun of me

Very true, very true. I will do my best to keep my joking to a minimum.

Let's try this again
Something about romance here
You still want a car?

All I need is love, and you're driving me to sleep.

Oh CC, you're so fine
you're so fine, you blow my mind
hey CC (huff huff), hey CC (huff huff)

The first of our suitors to break the rules for syllables, and very daring to do so! I definitely appreciate the sentiment as well.

Our love can be crazy
Black as snow and white as night
Will I be your knight?

The contrasting imagery is beautiful here. Maybe opposites do attract?

I was going to
Not join, but you convinced me.
I see bad counting.

I hope that your initial reluctance doesn't mean you aren't truly interested in our relationship together.

A dog's love may
With the right lick, lick licking
Trouble you each day.

Wrong syllables in the first line, I am definitely an animal lover... Not in that way, of course.

Cuddly Caucasian
So horny me so horny
Me love you long time

Hey now, I didn't know it was outdated reference today! Do I make you horny, baby? You are the weakest link. Where's the beef?

Earning CC's love?
What an opportunity!
I just hope...I do.

Simple, but sweet!

This game looks like fun
I guess I can pretend to
Love you. No homo.

I promise I'll change your mind about that by the end of this.

Let me be the Oak
To your Sycamore and I'll
Show you my Onix

I'm certainly one for Pokemon references. Is your Onix a shiny? I'll trade you for a perfect-IVs Timid Meloetta.

This game is cutthroat
But you're a genius so you'll
Give a rose to me!

Wow, impressive confidence! And bringing up shows that only the two of us have watched together makes me feel like we're already starting to have something special.

You'll never realize
what lies beneath
the shadow of my eyes

Well then! Ominous! Dark! Can't count! Just my type!

I've been invited
So clearly I am wanted:
Reciprocation!

I thought that said 'reproduction' at first. But if you give as much love as you can, it'll certainly be the same returned back to you!

Fuck haikus
Poems are stupid
And so are yous

My prince charming.

I'm sorry, CC,
but seventeen syllables
is not enough for

Very intriguing! You definitely know how to leave a man wanting more, and that's just what you've done here.

Forever and ever
I will never stop loving you
If you choose me

All I need is proof now, hun!

My haikus are the worst
Every line the very worst
this line's not too bad

Oh believe me, they can't be worse than mine! And props to you for showing that last underappreciated line some needed love.

I promise to play
the one alcoholic girl
out in the first round

I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed if we aren't ALL drunk every night.



So, who wins my

First Impression Rose

?


























































































Klick! I just can't wait to hear what else you couldn't express in your seventeen syllables, and this rose might be what gives you the opportunity to show me more.

[SleepyKrew]

I don't wanna die

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Episode 1 Dates

Today, I'll be taking four one-on-one dates, two two-on-one dates, and obviously a big group date! Sign up in the thread for whichever date you would like, and they are first come, first serve.

One-on-one dates:

-Axxle
-PrivateI
-AcRv
-xofelf

Two-on-one dates:

-SleepyKrew
-Flameaxe
-YurikoJasmine
-Klick

Group date:

-Aronis
-Bellaphant
-Blackberry
-Cephrir
-Cheery Dog
-D3f3nd3r
-Elbirn
-flobee
-Jelly
-Not_Mafia
-Save The Dragons
-Snakes
-TheBadOne
-TheBreeze
-vonflare
-Wall-E
-Zebulin

You have

(expired on 2015-06-04 02:19:47)

to decide on your date! 18 roses will be handed out at the end of the dates.

[SleepyKrew]

gimme dat 2 on 1

[Axxle]

1v1 me bro! (one-on-one date please!)

[Flameaxe]

2 on 1

i can take two

ayy

[TheBadOne]

I'll go on a group date

[PrivateI]

1 on 1 please. Maybe we can watch 500 Questions?!

[YurikoJasmine]

/in two-on-one

[Klick]

I'll take that last two-on-one, then.

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Just remember guys, the smaller dates will help you out considerably when I'm choosing my perfect match at the end of the game, but they are much harder to survive than the group date!

[AcRv]

Let's try something new.

one-on-one

[xofelf]

/in 1 v 1

i feel like i know CC well enough not to die off here.

[Bellaphant]

Group dates it is then

[Snakes]

I guess that leaves group dates for me.

[Not_Mafia]

I guess that leaves me with a group date

[D3f3nd3r]

Group date, I guess.

[vonflare]

Welp

[Cheery Dog]

Since I can't find my haiku, I'll assume that means I should be going on a 1v1 date. (I think I see one left?)