So unfortunately something has come up, and I will also need to request replacement. That said, I did want to leave you guys with a few thoughts, rather than just disappearing without saying anything. Also, this has been keeping me up all night and I just need to get some stuff off my chest before I go so I can get a proper four hours of sleep.
It's funny Tammy should bring up Oldy Mafia 2, because I was actually going to bring that up myself.
This is mostly to address GC, who seemed to rapidly change his stance on me from D1 to D2. It may also serve to address Tammy's point against me that she's not seeing the same behaviors from me between that game and this one.
In Oldy 2, I defended LmL on D1, because I felt there was a bad push against him, and he wound up being lynched as scum anyway. I was then lynched D2 by an all town wagon, and a large bulk of that wagon happened because of my defense of LmL on D1. Essentially, I was lynched by eleven protown players for being wrong about one scumbag on the first day of a large game.
These types of expectations are ludicrous. They are one of the things that made the game largely unfun for me, and it's one of the reasons I hardly play mafia anymore. So to see someone like Tammy come into a game and say that I'm not living up to her expectations of me (when we have played all of, what, one game together, and we were both parts of hydrae to boot?) is something that immediately took me back to that game, where I spent most of my time trying to defend myself in a futile struggle against the inevitable. That's pretty much what I feel here, too. GC changed his tune based on the hindsight of me being wrong about BiBob, and not fitting with his expectation of how I would start D2. GC, if you are town and wind up mislynching me for that here, then shame on you. You will have shown that you have learned nothing from your obscenely high expectations of me a year ago, and that would be very unfortunate.
Secondly, to address Tammy's meta point: I feel like I already touched on something similar, but please do me a favor and take a long look at the player list from that game. Compare it to the initial player list of this game. Oldy 2 was basically a reunion game featuring many of the most prominent veteran players who were still around in 2014. I have played countless games with those players and had extensive meta to form a baseline from which I could engage with them. I had virtually NONE of that here. So yeah, there is going to be a noticeable difference in style of play because as a player with a decade of forum mafia experience, I know that I have to approach a mini game full of newer players that I'm not familiar with differently than I would a large game full of experienced and generally competent people. I was trying to point this out earlier when I was addressing why I hadn't just plunged deep into the psyches of everyone here -- because I was completely unfamiliar with nearly everyone who had signed up for this game, and I didn't have that baseline meta that I could rely on in Oldy 2.
The other game I wanted to highlight for meta purposes is my last scum game, which was actually over two years ago but I think it does a pretty good job of illustrating the difference between town-Glork and scum-Glork. In
Pokemon UPick, if you look at my/MBF's post game comments, you can see that I calculated DAYS in advance how I was going to work towards and ultimately win in endgame. And all of my notable scum performances (California Trilogy 2 comes to mind) are like that. In order to make that a success, I need to be in absolute control of myself at all times. Things like getting caught up in the BiBob mislynch, or tunneling Tammy essentially 1v1 upon her replacement into the game, or even my staunch and adamant set-defense against most anyone who has even expressed doubts about me aren't really indicators of GlorkScum because those types of things distract me from my long term goal. The degree of self-defense has a distinct parallel to Oldy 2, where I also found myself on the back foot D2, and spent most of that day trying to talk my way out of a mislynch. Town Glork is often a very ego-centric Glork, whereas scum Glork is very externally focused on executing a plan, and that's no different here.
Anyway I wanted to post this more for the sake of my eventual replacement than anything else, because when I step back and look at the forest instead of the trees, I feel kind of bad for putting someone into this situation where I've stumbled my way into a potential D2 mislynch after having a sub-par D1.
I also just wanted to post my thoughts on my current approach to playing (I don't give a flying fuck about being one of the best town players anymore, and just wish to have fun playing games with cool people), and how managing others' expectations of my gameplay has been difficult for me, because while it has nothing to do with why I need to replace out (that comes from RL/external issues), no matter what happens I will be happy to corroborate this in a post-game or out-of-game setting. Several years ago I was easily one of the best mafia catchers around. I had to put an exorbitant amount of effort into doing that, and while I believe I still could if I had the time to catch up on site meta, build relationships with the current player base, and re-hone my craft, I think I still could. But at least right now, I don't care to put that kind of effort into mafia games. I just want to have fun playing them.
Best of luck and sorry for adding another replacement to the pile.
Mod: Please replace me
