the number one thing i hate coming from anyone in a game is a veiled i-know-better-than-you attitude and when you posted
4644 in response to me pointing out there isn't a guilty (which there isn't, but LLD should confirm this anyway so there's no confusion), i responded by questioning your competence. from my POV, it was the latest in a long series of things you've done in this game that were bugging me (the rest of which should be clear by now)
when i insult a player in game, it's strictly to do with their play. i don't make character judgements and none of my insults are actually personal. i will call something in game stupid if i think it's stupid. i will tell someone i think they're bad at mafia if i see things that i think are a good indication that they're bad at mafia. none of this relates to how i feel about a person personally (and, frankly, i don't have any issues with you, even if you dislike my play or think i've been an asshole here)
i try not to initiate things like this for no reason. at least from my perspective. i entered the game with no ill intent. but after seeing mathblade's "reaction test" (which i honestly think will never catch any decent scum player so is utterly pointless and adds nothing to the game over just asking them to confirm public information) and seeing that he wouldn't drop it (even though i asked him to), i got fed up and decided to openly mock him for it by claiming everything but my role. what left me surprised is that you actually thought that was me seriously denying the role. and then you said that i denied the role and i asked a question to clarify what you meant and you took that as a sign that i was confused about the self-janitor thing and therefore lying. i was confused why anyone would think that i had denied it. i didn't. i said "flipless miller" is not my fake-claim and refused to answer what i thought was a dumb question because mathblade needlessly added the "miller" part and i didn't think it warranted a serious response. that will never catch scum. ever. any scum who gets asked to claim immediately after replacing in is going to read their predecessor's ISO. that will never catch anyone ever unless they're just really new at the game or something... so when you took what i thought was obviously said in jest seriously, i probably started making it clear that i didn't have a positive opinion of what you were doing. i'm not going to say it was a good thing or that i should have done it; i am just someone who has a low tolerance level for things i deem bad play and that probably surfaces a lot more than i'd like it to
i probably should have just played it straight and answered the question. but what i said about it (that i think it's insulting to actually think that could catch anyone) is true and i have zero respect for anyone as a player who thinks that sort of thing would work, let alone on seasoned scum. there was no fucking reason whatsoever to add the "miller" part to the question. that's what i took issue with and that's why i never gave him a serious response after i asked him to drop it
still, i tried to ignore that and get into the game (which wasn't helped by the fact that any time i asked people for reads and explanations, or claims, or anything like that, i was met with silence apart from a couple players). and i wasn't trying to start any fights. but every time that whole "caught in a lie" thing was brought up, my attitude about it probably became readily apparent (until i just couldn't be bothered dealing with it anymore and asked the mod to replace out). and i probably should have just refused chamber's request to stay in the game. i didn't want to play because i figured i'd act like this if i kept reading more of the same "caught in a lie" crap. and the fact that you think i said that because you disagreed with me just added more fuel to the fire that was already lit in me
you probably don't see eye to eye with me on what constitutes an insult and maybe you think i crossed some line even prior to recent posts. you probably don't think that what you said to me in 4644 was bad in any way or that your general attitude towards things i've been saying in this game has been bugging me. that's fine. i expect a lot of players will probably agree with you and disagree with my philosophy. i'm just letting you know how i think and why i draw a distinct line between game-related content and actual personal attacks and why i took issue with certain things that you've said in this game and thus responded with what i thought was an appropriate response to what i perceived as veiled condescension. i certainly could have handled things better than i did in this game, though. but i genuinely did not come into this trying to start shit
if you feel i went overboard, then sorry. i get carried away sometimes. it's easy for me to differentiate attacks on play or how someone plays the game and attacks on a person, but i can understand the idea that you might take issue with, for example, me calling you 'stupid' for wanting to lynch a flipless player. i didn't mean that you're a stupid person in general; i was strictly referring to the play. i do think that's just bad play, even if for some reason you think i'm lying (and i honestly don't know why anyone would assume my predecessors would do that, even if they were scum) and i'm generally not one to shy away from being explicit over using euphemisms (so i tend to say something is stupid over calling it something like 'not ideal'). but i'll probably just try to avoid talking about things like that in future altogether instead of calling it stupid. though it's probably going to be a conscious effort and i don't expect i'll be able to hold back altogether
and i am genuinely sorry that i've made the game less fun for you (most of the stuff i say is spur-of-the-moment stuff that shouldn't be taken seriously and i have a tendency to not put much forethought into how negative things i say might affect enjoyment, even though that might not make much sense). hopefully this gives you at least a little insight into where my posts come from and why i thought i was just responding in kind, even if you didn't perceive it that way and why i wasn't actually trying to make it personal
anyway, this is probably a bunch of rambling since i was just writing out thoughts as they came to me, but i will make an active effort to refrain from doing the sorts of things i've done in this game from now on
