We now return to Life on Sesame Street.
Narrator of Homicide: Life on Sesame Street: This show contains adult content and is brought to you by the letter H. [wailing sirens. Inside an apartment, a phone rings, and Bert groans as he tries to pick up the phone]
Bert: Hello? [sighs heavily] Son of a bitch. I'm on my way. [he gets out of bed naked] Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hoopers. [he puts on some pants and drinks out of a beer bottle and coughs]
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish YOU wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED!
Ernie: Bert, you're shouting again, Bert! [Bert groans while comedic instrumental music plays in the background]