Open 561: Farmer's Market (Game Over)

[Formerfish]

I don't know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time. Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?

[Formerfish]

I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was with Special Forces... seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate some children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn't know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it... I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, my God... the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we, because they could stand that these were not monsters, these were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment! Because it's judgment that defeats us.

[Formerfish]

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

[Formerfish]

I remember the first time my bulb burned out. I thought, "That's it! I'm burnt out! Eighty-sixed! To the showers!" And then the master gave me a brand new bulb... and I just glowed.

[Formerfish]

Okay guys, one more thing, this summer when you're being inundated with all this American bicentennial Fourth Of July brouhaha, don't forget what you're celebrating, and that's the fact that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic, white males didn't want to pay their taxes.

[Formerfish]

You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to, uh, somebody, :You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella. He's one of us.: You understand? We were good fellas. Wiseguys. But Jimmy and I could never be made because we had Irish blood. It didn't even matter that my mother was Sicilian. To become a member of a crew you've got to be one hundred per cent Italian so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew. It means that nobody can fuck around with you. It also means you could fuck around with anybody just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything. As far as Jimmy was concerned with Tommy being made, it was like we were all being made. We would now have one of our own as a member.

[Formerfish]

You are probably thinking this review is way too long for a sex toy, but I like to be thorough. Now if you are here you have probably heard all the rave reviews on this beauty. So really my work here is probably done, but just in case you haven't here's my perspective.

I spent weeks debating on whether to get this. I thought it would be too small/too big for me to enjoy it, the curve was too extreme, and I just couldn't possibly justify the cost. Oh trust me, you can justify it, and you will love every single inch of it. First off the packaging, since this is what you will encounter first. It's pure black, with the njoy logo in silver on the bottom left corner. Inside is stiff foam lined with bright pink satin, with a little indent that makes it easy to pull the wand out. It's really sturdy packaging and even though 1.5 lbs of steel probably doesn't need it and the pink isn't my favorite color in the world, it's still a great storage case.

Next the wand itself. It's 1.5 LBS of gorgeous, mirror finish, surgical STEEL!! The large end measures exactly 1.5 inch diameter, with the small end ringing in at an inch. The middle tapers from end to end as I am sure you can see from the photos. I didn't think that there was such a difference in 0.5 inches, but there is a big difference. It feels heavy, solid, and you just know you will never have to replace it. For a sex toy that's saying something so let me repeat. YOU NEVER HAVE TO REPLACE THIS TOY. I know I don't have to worry about leaving this around, it looks like a piece of art, and if someone knows what it is they probably own it so I can raise questions of my own. You can sterilize it like no other because it's steel, I am talking boiling, bleaching, sanitizing, soap and water, toy cleaner, and whatever else you can think of. Which also means that any kind of lube is available for use with this toy, and it only requires a tiny little bit if any at all.

As for use, this thing will blow your socks off and make you squirt. It's what this toy is known for, making women squirt. I suggest a towel or waterproof blanket, because females will be gushing, sometimes without even an orgasm which is a new experience. Be prepared for a learning curve. It isn't like a normal dildo, it takes a bit of time to figure out how best to use it in a way that you will be thanking Njoy personally for coming out with it. I first walked away from it frustrated and worried I made a bad choice, but once you get it though the toy is amazing. I also want to say that it's perfect for temperature play. As you probably already know metal retains it's temperature beautifully, I actually got it a little too hot the first time and had to cool it down a little before I could use it. The end that's not in use is a great handle since this thing will never, and probably should never, be fully inserted. The curve also makes the 'handle' end more ergonomic.

Tip for use: Use the curve to your advantage and push towards your stomach, once you feel it firmly there pull it slowly in and out until you find your G-spot then do a sort of rocking motion against it.

Now for cons because yes, there are a few but it should NOT hinder your choice in buying. I just thought you should be aware. First off this dildo is steel, so it's going to be cold. I mean you will probably always need to warm it up before use unless you are into the cold thing. This isn't a bad thing per say, but it is kind of annoying when you just want to go without running to a faucet (fastest way I have found). There is a little problem with the shape, it's curved which feels great, but the curve is so drastic that it gets in the way of clitoris stimulation. Now it IS manageable to still use a vibrator on your clitoris while you use it, but it takes a little bit of trial and error. Now the weight was a blessing and a curse. You will want to play for a while when you use this, and the weight wears your arms out, but it feels great. Think of it as an extremely pleasurable work out. Other problem with the weight is it happens to make it fall side to side unless your hand is on the 'handle' end keeping it up right.

I haven't tried it anally, and I probably won't for a while if ever because it's not really my thing, but I like knowing I have the option and I hear it's great for both males and females.

I honestly will probably never buy another dildo for a very long time. For me, that's saying something, but I don't see my ADHD self getting bored with this... Ever... You can only have it if you pull it from my cold dead hands and EVERYONE should own one.

[Robocopter87]

I don't even know

[Bins]

He's pulling an Aronis -- must be scum.

[Formerfish]

Difference between us is that he was spamming the post to obfuscate what was being said. I am bringing attention to the thread to get some action here.

[Formerfish]

Toy Story 3 is about the Holocaust

Seems odd that Disney would recount humanity’s worst atrocity via a talking potato. But not according to Jordan Hoffman of UGO.com. Instead, when Andy leaves for college and abandons the toys, it’s exactly like when the Allies “left behind the Jews as the Third Reich conquered Europe.” You want proof? Ok - Woody then pulls the toys together to say, yes, we’ve lost friends (Bo Peep, but what is our new position in the world? Change a few words and it’s the station scene from Roman Polanski’s The Pianist. Buzz Lightyear then suggests finding sanctuary “in an attic” - oh come on - before the toys are put to work at Sunnyside: a technicolour Dachau, with guards and mutilating experiments. The climax? The toys are thrown into an incinerator, before escaping to a new homeland. What more do you need – a girl in a red coat?

[Formerfish]

Talladega Nights is Satanic propaganda

And there was you thinking Will Ferrell was just a real-life Homer Simpson in leathers. Thank God that YouTuber Warduck1 was on hand to reveal the truth: this 2006 NASCAR comedy is artfully-crafted Luciferian propaganda designed to seduce you from the Christian way. Ricky Bobby is Lucifer, who imagines himself set on fire before being cast from heaven (the racetrack by God (French rival Girard. Girard’s sponsor is Perrier (symbolizing “biblical floods” while Bobby’s car number (26 represents the name of God in the Hebrew bible. Later, however, this is reversed to read 62 to show he’s become the Antichrist – and upon victory, he changes his name to ‘El Diablo’. At which point… is anyone still reading this?

[Formerfish]

I think Anthony Bourdain is brilliant, not just because he is a great author or an even better chef, he also does things that others don’t. Eating beating snake’s heart or balut, fertilized duck eggs which are a delicacy in Việt Nam, is all in a days work for Bourdain.

If you are working in a kitchen with the goal of starting your own restaurant, let Anthony Bourdain inspire you too:
1. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.
2. Skills can be taught. Character you either have or you don’t have.
3. I’ve long believed that good food, good eating, is all about risk. Whether we’re talking about unpasteurized Stilton, raw oysters or working for organized crime ‘associates,’ food, for me, has always been an adventure
4. your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.
5. The journey is part of the experience - an expression of the seriousness of one’s intent. One doesn’t take the A train to Mecca.
6. Don’t lie about it. You made a mistake. Admit it and move on. Just don’t do it again. Ever

[Formerfish]

Hiking? Got a painful, liquid-filled blister on your foot? Here is a sure way of safely getting rid of your blister overnight:

Sterilize a needle by running it through fire (a lighter).
Thread the needle with regular cotton thread.
Push the needle through the blister.
Remove the needle and LEAVE the thread threaded through the blister overnight.

The liquid inside the blister will be absorbed into the thread.

It is much safer than trying to pop the blister which could lead to infections and a spoiled hiking trip.

[Formerfish]

Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Original recipe makes 3 1/2 dozen

1 cup butter, softened

1 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

3 cups quick-cooking oats

1 cup chopped walnuts

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into the creamed mixture until just blended. Mix in the quick oats, walnuts, and chocolate chips. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets.
3. Bake for 12 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

[havingfitz]

VOTE: Ice

[Young Edgey]

Difference between us is that he was spamming the post to obfuscate what was being said. I am bringing attention to the thread to get some action here.

It's moronic and not helpful. I should have something that is helpful and not moronic by the end of the day today.

[Formerfish]

Blow me.

[Robocopter87]

--:Vote Count:--

• Xayzeck [ 0 ]
  
• havingfitz [ 0 ]
  
• IceGuy [ 4 ] Bins, Xayzeck, Formerfish, havingfitz
  
  
• neil1113 [ 0 ]
  
• Young Edgey [ 0 ]
  
• Formerfish [ 0 ]
  
• Bins [ 0 ]

Not Voting

: IceGuy, neil1113, Young Edgey

Amount To Lynch

: With 7 alive it is 4 to lynch

Deadline

: None.

[Robocopter87]

• And I got nothing for you darling but a story to tell
  About the rain on the pavement and the sound as it fell

IceGuy,

Town Two Shot Fruit Vendor

, Lynched Day Four

It is now Night Four, it ends at noon PDT of August 22.

[Robocopter87]

"Lana. Lana. Lana. LANAAAAAAA!"
"WHAT!"
"Danger zone"

havingfitz,

Town Two Shot Fruit Vendor

, Killed Night Four

--:Vote Count:--

• Xayzeck [ 0 ]
  
• neil1113 [ 0 ]
  
• Young Edgey [ 0 ]
  
• Formerfish [ 0 ]
  
• Bins [ 0 ]

Not Voting

: Xayzeck, neil1113, Young Edgey, Formerfish, Bins

Amount To Lynch

: With 5 alive it is 3 to lynch

Deadline

: None.

[Robocopter87]

It is now Day Five.

[Young Edgey]

I have identified our culprit. It is none other than... Formerfish! Simply examine his play during Day Four. First, this interaction with Bins.

it should be ice today to rid wifom
then FF

Lynching me would be a bad idea for town. And on such weak reasoning too.

there's more I'm just too lazy and I find it unnecessary atm

Ice tho?

Of course we lynch Ice right now. We should have lynched him yesterday.

Vote Ice

Second, there is the matter of him spamming the thread. Recall how Formerfish described this.

I am bringing attention to the thread to get some action here.

As I have previously pointed out, he was not being helpful in the slightest. If that had been his goal, he would have been attempting to interact with the other players instead of... whatever it is he did, and he would not have responded to me with such hostility. It was nothing more than a failed attempt to look pro-town without being pro-town.
VOTE: Formerfish
Let's end this.

[Formerfish]

Did you see anyone interacting? We had days go by with nothing. Even with me closing around there was no activity. And how is my interaction with Bins indicative of anything?

How did your read through of the game go? You have any leads that aren't from the last 2 pages?

[Bins]

Well, I'm sad.