Mini 1628: Rick Santorum Saves Xmas - Gaybepocalypse

[Flames682]

Jokes on you, box 2 was bait.

[Mathdino]

Watch box 2 be a 1-shot strongman vig/roleblock along with 2 shots of BP.

[Bert]

My box is a Hello Kitty Bedroom

[Flames682]

My box contains the Flames from hell

[T S O]

steal from mathdino

[Mathdino]

WAT

steal from random person other than Flames

[Mathdino]

Steal from Wisdom because he'll probably be online in the next few hours

[Wisdom]

lol reasoning

[Wisdom]

Steal Box 9 from Bert

[Shinobi]

steal from mathdino

Yes.

[Bert]

Steal Marquis's Box

[Bert]

Steal Box 9 from Bert

You started the trend.

I blame you for this game's escalating crime rate

[Wisdom]

Umm no I didnt

[T S O]

fink it wus me

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

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Selection order:

Thestatusquo (Box 12)
GuyInFreezer (Box 4)
Marquis
Aronis (Box 7)
Bert (Box 13)
Shinobi (Box 3)
Wisdom (Box 9)
Konowa (Box 1)
Flames682 (Box 11)
crazypianist1116 (Box 5)
FuDuzn (Box 8)
Mathdino (Box 6)
T S O (Box 2)

Boxes remaining:

Box 10

[Konowa]

Just take box 10.

[Marquis]

koonoowoo

[Marquis]

I don't think anyone would want to steal a box with number 死.

steal gif's 死 4 : ]]

[GuyInFreezer]

Take box 10

You're welcome folks

[Marquis]

ur supposed to keep go up the list

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

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Final gifts:

Thestatusquo (Box 12)
GuyInFreezer (Box 10)
Marquis (Box 4)
Aronis (Box 7)
Bert (Box 13)
Shinobi (Box 3)
Wisdom (Box 9)
Konowa (Box 1)
Flames682 (Box 11)
crazypianist1116 (Box 5)
FuDuzn (Box 8)
Mathdino (Box 6)
T S O (Box 2)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

*NOTE: Anyone who received a relevant ability as part of their gift will get a PM.

RICK SANTORUM:

"Okay, friends! Everyone's got their gift... now go ahead and rip 'em apart like Obama rips apart the constitution!"

Everyone begins to tear into their gifts on cue, shredding paper and ribbons and ripping open boxes to reveal their rewards...

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GuyInFreezer lets out an odd noise and everyone looks over at him...

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

As he carefully pulled the wrapping paper away, being careful to pull along the tape lines so as to save the paper for a later date, Ted Cruz held his breath. Christmas was such a rare treat from him since secretly converting to Judaism. He laid the wrapping paper aside and opened the box. He stuck his hand in the box and felt around to see if he could guess what the gift was by touch alone. As his fingers brushed the rubbery surface of the gift, the black sludgy ichor running through his veins in lieu of true Christian blood froze and slowed to a crawl, in accordance to typical Jew physiology. He felt around the gift, but his hands were growing numb with shock. He thought for an instant that he could somehow get out of this, talk his way out of it like he so often did with those gotcha reporter questions about whether or not he thought Obama was literally Hitler, but then Rick Santorum said "Teddy, what's in the box?" and he knew it was over. He knew that there was no getting out of this anyway, since clearly someone put this in his box as an attempt to blackmail him. Slowly, his whole arms tingling with shock, he lifted the gigantic black dildo out of the box. It glistened carelessly by the light of the Christmas Tree. Several participants audibly gasped. The women looked away. The big rubbery cock flopped about like a windsock from Ted Cruz shaking with rage and embarrassment.

Suddenly, he was a child again. The back of his neck burned red and he stared at the ground as his father mercilessly berated him. He had brought home a friend, a little black child, and was making him a sandwich in the kitchen. His father had come home and demanded to know why Teddy was giving this little

negro

a handout. That's what

Communists

did, and there were no fucking Communists in the Cruz household. This kid could work for his sandwich or go home hungry, as God clearly intended for him to do. Teddy was crying, because he didn't understand why. His father had taken his belt off and was threatening to whip Teddy, who barely registered the threat through his tears, while yelling that his friend was lucky he was in a good mood, because he wasn't going to whip Teddy THIS time, but next time he'd have to watch someone bleed.

He came back. He was still clumsily holding the dildo, although it was drooping closer to his face, and he had hit himself in the nose with it. The dildo finally flopped out of his hand and landed squarely in the bowl of cross-shaped pretzels. Ted wondered where his friend was now. He wondered if he could join him on welfare, since his career was over.

Ted Cruz, the filthy fucking Jew, has his career ended by a big black dildo. What are the fucking odds.

He slumped forward in his chair. He needed to stress-eat. He grabbed a handful of pretzels out of the bowl and crammed them in his mouth. He licked the salt off of his fingers and it was only at that point that he noticed that his hands were stickier than usual. While he usually had a least a hint of christian infant blood on his hands, from the ritualistic jew murders, this was an unfamiliar taste. Somewhat metallic. A little tangy. He was grabbing for a second handful of pretzels to shove in his shamehole when he noticed his face tightening up. He was having trouble breathing. He grabbed his throat when the pain started, but at that point he knew what would happen. He remembered the slimy texture on the dildo when he picked it up and knew in that moment he was going to die.

Rafael Edward "Ted" Tiberius Jiménez Saskatchewan Fingolfin Sousaphone Wongfoo Cruz died the way he lived, poisoned by a black cock.

GuyInFreezer [Ted Cruz] -

Jew

- poisoned by a black dildo WE1

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[T S O]

That was the greatest goddamn death scene ever.

[T S O]

it actually scares me to think how close I was to taking Box 10.