Mini 1628: Rick Santorum Saves Xmas - Gaybepocalypse

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

*NOTE: Anyone who received a relevant ability as part of their gift will get a PM.

RICK SANTORUM:

"I know it's been a troubling start to the party here... but hey, let's try to get back on track! Everyone open your next round of presents!"

Everyone begins to tear into their gifts on cue, shredding paper and ribbons and ripping open boxes to reveal their rewards...

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Konowa lets out an odd noise and everyone looks over at him...

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Timothy Dolan froze as his hand caressed the unknown object in the giftbox, and immediately he became erect. His whole body shivered, and the whole room was staring at him. "Father? Are you okay?" asked Rick. He could barely contain himself. A Cardinal, purchasing one of these for himself? That would be excommunication material, right there. But if it was given as a gift... well... luckily, the Holy Scriptures were a bit vague on the morality of White Elephant gift exchanges. "Err... yes, Rick, I am fine. I just received... uhhh... an urgent message from the Lord... I must go pray and receive him! Privately, of course... can you direct me to the, err, restroom?" Timothy Dolan stammered as his hand massaged the massive head in the box, and he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Well, you can use our bedroom, Father, no need to lock yourself in the restroom," Rick explained.

"No, IT MUST be the bathroom! I need to feel dirty!" And with that, Timothy Dolan rushed past Rick, down the hallway, and into the bathroom. He slammed the door and locked it, turning his attention to the box. He tenderly lifted the object out of the box, and now the giant black dildo shimmered in the dim lighting of the bathroom, showing its glory for all to see. He kissed it, pressing his lips against the rubber. It tasted funny, but he didn't care, this felt so right. Cardinal Dolan knelt before the bathroom mirror and crossed himself. He knew what he was doing was so wrong, but it felt so right. He lifted the dildo before his face and bowed his head, saying a quick prayer. Suddenly, the dildo levitated in mid-air and slapped him in the face.

"Cardinal... Dolan..."

The dildo moved on its own, forcing its way into him and tickling the back of his throat. At first, he resisted, but then he started to love it. His eyes welled as he gobbled that black cock, as pools of saliva and lust formed at the corner of his lips. Faster, faster, faster, he couldn't stop... he was moaning, gagging, choking, loving it... and suddenly, the voice spoke to him again.

"CARDINAL DOLAN!"

The facefucking stopped and Dolan peered over the top of the dildo to see a floating light in the bathroom mirror. All at once, he felt shame and humility. He knew who the light was. Frantically, he tried to remove the cock from his mouth, but it was only sliding its way in deeper and deeper.

"Cardinal Dolan", Jesus said "you are guilty of the most heinous of crimes and so you will die the way you forced others to live. On your knees, facefucking a holy cock."

Cardinal Dolan's eyes rolled back in his head and he bobbed back and forth until he felt the Holy Spirit came in his chubby cheeks.

The other guests found him dead on the bathroom floor with the poisoned dildo tonsil deep in his mouth.

Konowa [Timothy Dolan] -

Righteous Christian Warrior

- choked to death on a black dildo WE2

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[Shinobi]

Wow, lol.

[Wisdom]

This isn't going very well

[Wisdom]

So Bert had box 9 before konowa stole it
Prolly means Bert town unless gambit

[Flames682]

From Bert taking box 9 my read shifted on him a bit but he could've just been taking a gamble.

Either that or scum decides the kill after all the boxes have been taken, which is unlikely since mod posted who would die 20 minutes after everyone took a gift.

[Mathdino]

Guess I could've guessed this but I have a 1-shot cop. The entire playerlist looks good to use it on, so I'll decide before we get a lynch (it resolves at the end of the phase).

Agree on Bert.

VOTE: Shinobi

[Wisdom]

(it resolves at the end of the phase).

Sounds convenient given it will likely be lylo tomorrow

[Mathdino]

With 3 scum alive I really think we should do my plan, it'd be huge if we could bag a scum during their phase.

[Wisdom]

Is this an attempt to remind us you had this awesome plan and therefore should be regarded as town?

[Mathdino]

No, it's an attempt to say "Goddammit guys why didn't we do this yesterday". I don't expect any townpoints if no one actually follows it since it then has no effect.

[Wisdom]

You didn't really seem to care when we didn't do it yesterday

[Mathdino]

There wasn't really much to do about it after 3 people picked by themselves. I was on my phone for almost all of that phase, didn't have the energy (mentally and electronically) to rage at people and get the people below them to follow it.

Unfortunately we can't really get too many reads off it since I never told someone to pick box 9.

[Wisdom]

Why the Shinobi vote?

[Mathdino]

VOTE: bert

Second the notion. Shot was both senseless and bad.

Nothing made me think Shinobi was scum before this.

Leaning scum on him, this is sheeping Wisdom on low hanging fruit.

It was either him or Marquis but I think Marquis is slightly more town due to the white elephant phase.

I have the suspicion there's scum in {Flames, CP1116} as well but that's mostly gut, got nothing solid on that.

[Wisdom]

You're not very convincing. You made much better arguments in the other game.

Like "it's either him or marquis". Why? Why can't they both be town?

[FuDuzn]

I was 'this' close to stealing that box as well. Self hi5 for making the correct choice.

Also, shinobis first post toDay ping my scumdar coupled with 363 makes meVOTE: shinobi.

Decided on stealing from Marquis because I think I was scum reading him as well, I have to read back over the last day again(I was a bit MIA).

Pre edit: Wisdom brings up a good point, why word that as one or the other math?

[Wisdom]

Also, shinobis first post toDay ping my scumdar

You mean "wow, lol"? Why?

[FuDuzn]

I don't like the first post of the Day being something that offers no content but does comment on the death. Flavor notwithstanding. On its own it probably isn't much but after re reading 363 I don't like him.

[Wisdom]

What's wrong with 363?

[FuDuzn]

The way he sheeped your vote almost immediately, feels like he knew a mislynch could happen easily and wanted to get it done before we could think about things.

[Wisdom]

Or he could be town who thought Bert looked scummy

VOTE: fuduzn

[Mathdino]

You're not very convincing. You made much better arguments in the other game.

Like "it's either him or marquis". Why? Why can't they both be town?

1. I'm less sure here because the players are stronger.
2. In the other game literally everyone I pushed except you ended up being town, soooooooo
3. They could be, but they're my top 2 scumreads and all that's changed between today and yesterday is TSO flipping town, Konowa (who was already a townread) flipping, and Bert/Marquis gaining townpoints. By "it was either him or Marquis" I meant that my vote was between them for today. I don't have many suspicions outside of them.

Edit: Not really sure why FuD, please explain? He's one of my stronger townreads.

[Wisdom]

Why is he town? Also remind me why marquis got townier for you today?

[Flames682]

363 and that first post shouldn't be enough to think Shinobi is scum.