Scummer D&D

[FakeGod]

Campaign 5 - Cutscene 2

[FakeGod]

We will be playing this Sunday, usual time.

Let me know your availabilities.

[ConManMick]

I will probably be there though I shouldn't

[FakeGod]

Campaign 5 - Cutscene 2.5

-Just outside the Whitlane Mansion

[FakeGod]

Lady Maria Whitlane is paying you same amount as last time.

Millie is offering 1000g (to the party, not per person) for the job. If you guys agree to do it, she will provide you with a scroll of

gentle repose

and a scroll of

shrink item

.

Please let me know if you guys agree to Millie's job.

[ConManMick]

she's def got questionable motives, or her buddy does

[lilith2013]

Should be here the whole time this week.

[Brian Skies]

We're donating the body to science. What could possibly go wrong?

[fujiyamaninja]

This is why you enact operation Venom Claw, which works as follows:
Kill the mutant kobold.
Cast the gentle repose scroll on it.
Reanimate the corpse as a zombie with create undead since we have ample supply of black onyx from all those derro we killed.
Stick it in a box.
Make a pit stop at Praxleni's cave.
Since we're on friendly terms with her, pay her to dose the claws with spider venom. Also pay her to have her gatekeeper (the red and blue spider) dose the corpse with the sleep contact poison that it has.
Give zombie orders to attack the first person to remove it from the box.
Bring box back. Open top panel to show corpse to Millie. Collect payment. Close box up and allow her to deliver it.
Upon opening the box her "scholarly acquaintance get's these surprises all in round 1:
Fort save vs sleep poison, two claw attacks, and 2 fort saves vs 1d6 str damage poison each. If he's a wizard he's probably dead. If he's a cleric he might survive, but the kobold will be destroyed.
...
Profit?

[Who]

Alternatively, write a message on its forhead, her "scholarly acquaintance" will probably be curious as to what it says. They will find out that it says:
Explosive Runes
Explosive Runes
More Explosive Runes
Even More Explosive Runes
One more explosive runes just because.

For 30d6 damage, no save. Probably dead. I'm confused as to why we're trying to kill her friend though. (Also, it might be her not her friend for all we know)

[Who]

I vote we take the job and do it as normal. Worst case scenario is it goes rogue and we need to kill it for XP. Sorry, I misspoke. Worst case scenario is that everything works fine and we don't get more xp.

[fujiyamaninja]

The advantage of the convoluted plan I wrote is it's virtually undetectable until the second it's supposed to go off. Having stuff written on the corpse would be suspicious, and probably get triggered when we turn the corpse over for money, since Millie would want to at the very least give it a cursory inspection. It's a moot point though because it would require a neutral cleric, since a good one can't cast animate dead.

And believe me it won't work out fine. If you find a corpse or make a corpse and don't want it coming back to bother you again, you have to destroy it.

I once found a flesh golem manual from random loot during one session. We sold it for the cash. Guess what we ended up fighting next session.

[Brian Skies]

Worst case scenario is that everything works fine and we don't get more xp.

But we still get paid.

[Brian Skies]

Worst case scenario is we don't take the job and thus, miss out on 1000 gold and maybe extra experience.

[Brian Skies]

I'm also okay with Operation Venom Claw should we decide its necessary.

[Hanasawa]

And also ruin the relation we have with Maria. The will happen with the worst case scenario too.

What happens if the person that wants the dead kobold is a necromancer? Wouldn't no matter what we do to the corpse not matter anyway and bite us back?

[ConManMick]

. It's a moot point though because it would require a neutral cleric, since a good one can't cast animate dead.

Fall of Holz II: Cleric Edition

[GuyInFreezer]

Can we just steal Millicent's soul gems?

[Who]

And also ruin the relation we have with Maria. The will happen with the worst case scenario too.

What happens if the person that wants the dead kobold is a necromancer? Wouldn't no matter what we do to the corpse not matter anyway and bite us back?

Why would it ruin our relations with Maria? How were we supposed to know that her sister would be irresponsible with it and now it's torn her house apart? We were just giving it to her sister for her to study, we weren't expecting for her to revive it and cause everyone to end up dead.

The advantage of the convoluted plan I wrote is it's virtually undetectable until the second it's supposed to go off. Having stuff written on the corpse would be suspicious, and probably get triggered when we turn the corpse over for money, since Millie would want to at the very least give it a cursory inspection. It's a moot point though because it would require a neutral cleric, since a good one can't cast animate dead.

And believe me it won't work out fine. If you find a corpse or make a corpse and don't want it coming back to bother you again, you have to destroy it.

I once found a flesh golem manual from random loot during one session. We sold it for the cash. Guess what we ended up fighting next session.

I'm confused as to our problem with having it come back to bother us again. Depending on how strong it is. If it's so strong that we just barely avoid a TPK, okay operation venom claw might be a good idea. If it isn't, we'll probably be fine just doing it normally.

[fujiyamaninja]

It's not so much about the power of the individual, but the relative change in difficulty of some future encounter. Even if the mutant isn't so dangerous as to threaten TPK, it can be the straw that breaks the camel's back so to speak.

Let me give you an example. In one campaign, at the very start we encountered a tiefling running from an orc riding a shadow wolf. We saved her, and kept the shadow wolf's body because it looked like and interesting crafting material.
We took the tiefling under our care for the night. Our rogue ran across a mercenary on the roof across from the inn we were at (he always hid himself in a good vantage point overlooking our camps). the mercenary had been hired to kill the tiefling and bring her head back. He offered to split the fee with us.
Instead we hacked the head off the wolf corpse, cast some illusions and transmutations on it to sufficiently disguise it as the girl's head, and paid the mercenary 1000 gp to give that to his boss, which he readily agreed to because it doubled his fee.

On the morning of the next day the wolf corpse had disappeared. We had no idea what happened to it and continued on as normal.

We get to the final boss fight. It's a cleric that we had seen earlier at some point. The mercenary is also there clearly dominated. There is an apparently inactive golem at the back of the room. And guess who, the shadow wolf. We killed them all easily, and destroyed the golem. Later we asked FG what the hell happened and why the final boss was so easy.
Turns out the cleric's plan was to have that golem operable by the time we arrive, but he needed the tiefling girl's soul to fuel it. His plan was to have the mercenary kill her, bring back the head, raise dead her, and then kill her again and collect her soul for the golem. Unfortunately for him, he woke up, prepared his spells, cast his raise dead on the head, and ended up with a shadow wolf. He said "The fuck is this?!" and dominated the mercenary and forced him to explain what happened. Then we showed up on his doorstep while he was down 2 fifth level spell slots, and with a shadow wolf instead of his ultimate weapon. The golem had a bunch of nasty abilities including a free action negative energy pulse for 12d6 as a free action every 1d4+1 rounds. Needless to say we were glad to not have to fight it at the same time as everyone else.

Moral of the story is troll the dm as much as possible. That dude has some sort of plan with that corpse, which can be sabotaged before he even gets a chance to start on it.

I agree that even if we turn the body over as Millie plans it probably wouldn't end in TPK, because the party comp is pretty good. But if we turn it over and sabotage it in some way, it will at least make a future encounter easier. And probably leave us with a hilarious story as well.

[SXTLHGaiden]

Tree catapult, skip 1/2 the campaign.

[Who]

We risk murdering Millie though. Which would probably be bad. If we want to just sabotage things, why not just tell her sister?

[ConManMick]

so we've got 7 kobolds to kill per party member

[Who]

They shall be divided as follows:
Saag: 19
Thognak: 19
Stewart: 9
Anias: 1
Bo: 1
Moriko: 1
Verdante: None (But like actually all of them)
Lukas: None (But like is why we lived)

[FakeGod]

hahhahahha

expect more like 100 kobolds