Rejoice, citizens!
We, your Emperor, are managing to keep abreast of developments within the Senate much better in this session than in the first. We care not whether this is due to the absence of certain obnoxious and vociferous Senators, a decrease in general prattle, or simply greater interest on Our part, but Glorious Rome has a dedicated ruler once more.
We of course have much to say, but We first dedicate this missive to disabusing stirrings of disloyalty to Our Person.
We hold thee in utter contempt, and dismiss your concerns with disdain.
We are not your servant, and it is not fit for you to criticize Our habits. We shall endeavor to address the Senate with greater frequency, but if you anticipate Us to make more a hundred speeches before this body within twenty-four hours, as do many Senators, you shall be disappointed. Live with it or be gone.
Finally, we address those whose patience or intellect is apparently not equal to the task of deciphering the quality of Our Speech - tough. We have chosen to address the Senate in this manner
because it amuses Us
. There is no ulterior motive nor attempt to deceive, it pleases us to employ a more sophisticated vocabulary, and that is all. If you lack the mental fortitude to perceive Our meaning, that is your failing, not Ours.
Nos sunt grata sit, non loqui
!
However, in our magnanimity, We hear the plight of Our People, and have decided to retain the services of a translator, a slave recently taken in the barbarian provinces of the Far North, whose speech is sufficiently akin to the grunts and brayings that our detractors employ that We hope their diminished wits may understand.
Expect a more topical speech from your Glorious Caesar forthwith.
Augustus Caesar
