Identity

[D3f3nd3r]

I'm going to use my Double Dip on EpicMafia to guess RadiantCowbells and Regfan. I don't believe Postie's answer and I don't think Pabs is a mafia player, but I have no clue which of those two it would be.

[KittyMo]

RegFan has the most EpicMafia trophies.

Strangers	Identities
pablito	Has read The Hobbit over 100 times
Postie	Tried and failed to master telekinesis in their early teens
RadiantCowbells	Went to the ER this year after surviving being shot in the face

Strangers	Identities
Aristophanes	Has marathoned the LOTR Extended Editions on Christmas break the past 4 years
Errantparabola	Invented a chess variant with friends that partly involved fencing with pool sticks among other antics
Equinox	Once participated in, in front of over a hundred people, an embarrassing amalgam of Shakespeare and the modern day, containing such lines as "those wings are totally rad" and "that's only geeky little Ariel, she sux"
Realeo	Their playlist consists mostly of Rising Star, Hillsong, and Eurovision Song Contest' songs
StrangerCoug	Wanted to be a doctor as a kid but the closest they've come to that is processing medical claims
Vijarada	Won third place in a regional engineering competition in grade ten

Correct Matches	Amount Won
8	$75,000
7	$50,000
6	$20,000
5	$10,000
4	$5,000
3	$2,000
2	$1,000
1	$500

Assistance: 2 Questions | Tri-Identity

[McMenno]

I want to guess

[D3f3nd3r]

Postie and RC, how did you get shot in the face?

[RadiantCowbells]

I was at the gym with my friend Jesse and there was two dbags who kept doing single reps then walking away from the bench press for ten minutes at a time but leaving their weights/stuff there so no one could use them.

This continued for like an hour then eventually Jesse got pissed off and took their weights off. They came back when we were doing our workout and said nothing then walked away.

When we left the gym they basically ambushed us and tried to pick a fight, we told them to fuck off and one pulled a gun and shot me then ran.

I was in the hospital from the 7th to the 15th of february and ended up having to delay the majority of my midterms and drop one of my classes because of it. We both have to testify in court in may

[D3f3nd3r]

And you played a Mafia game through being shot.

Lol. Nope.

[Postie]

Postie and RC, how did you get shot in the face?

One of brother's friend's parents hosted a New Year's party thing at their house and I got dragged along. Their living room and kitchen got flooded with people being very loud and lots of alcohol so I ended up hiding upstairs and hanging out with my brother and his friend in his friend's room (Shakespearean Insult Generator has decided we're calling this guy Pox-marked Maltworm from now on) and watching them play video games for what must have been like two or three hours. Most of the time they were playing Call of Duty, Black Ops I think, and another shooter I don't remember the name of and they start talking about some of the guns featured in the unspecified game and then Pox-marked Maltworm pauses the game and slides this box out from underneath his bed. There are magazines inside the box and he lifts them up from one side to show my brother what's underneath without showing me, and then they both sort-of grin and I'm like "what?" and keep pestering my brother about it until he whispers that Pox-marked Maltworm has a gun in that box. I know that Pox-marked Maltworm is 100% the kind of person who could theoretically acquire a gun but for some reason I decide to laugh and say words to the effect of "there's no way you have a real gun".

They go back to playing video games and after a bit I feel a tap on the shoulder and turn around and Pox-marked Maltworm

shoots me in the fucking face with the gun

.
I didn't really register what was happening at first but I could feel blood pouring out of my face and mouth and so I just start crying hysterically and some guests come in to see what happened (Maltworm had a silencer on the gun but as it turns out guns with silencers are still

really fucking loud

) and then get Maltworm's parents and my parents and then after far-too-many minutes the ambulance turned up. The whole time I was convinced I was going to die but since the shot only went through my cheek and part part of my jaw things turned out okay-ish? I had to have two surgeries and I still can't move my mouth without my face hurting like hell but jesus christ it could have been

a lot

worse.

Pox-marked Maltworm had meant to fire a blank, btw. Which doesn't make him any less of a sociopathic asshole especially considering the shit he's pulled before but this kinda proved it to everyone else so silver linings I guess?

[Realeo]

RISE! RISE FROM THE GRAVE!

[Vijarada]

yeah d3f be active

[D3f3nd3r]

I'm still waiting on RC to tell me how he got shot in the face.

[Vijarada]

I was at the gym with my friend Jesse and there was two dbags who kept doing single reps then walking away from the bench press for ten minutes at a time but leaving their weights/stuff there so no one could use them.

This continued for like an hour then eventually Jesse got pissed off and took their weights off. They came back when we were doing our workout and said nothing then walked away.

When we left the gym they basically ambushed us and tried to pick a fight, we told them to fuck off and one pulled a gun and shot me then ran.

I was in the hospital from the 7th to the 15th of february and ended up having to delay the majority of my midterms and drop one of my classes because of it. We both have to testify in court in may

Come on.

[D3f3nd3r]

Wow I'm incompetent

Postie got shot. Not RC and I think if Pabs did it we would have known about it.

[KittyMo]

Postie has not survived being shot in the face.

Strangers	Identities
pablito	Has read The Hobbit over 100 times
Postie	Tried and failed to master telekinesis in their early teens
RadiantCowbells	Went to the ER this year after surviving being shot in the face

Strangers	Identities
Aristophanes	Has marathoned the LOTR Extended Editions on Christmas break the past 4 years
Errantparabola	Invented a chess variant with friends that partly involved fencing with pool sticks among other antics
Equinox	Once participated in, in front of over a hundred people, an embarrassing amalgam of Shakespeare and the modern day, containing such lines as "those wings are totally rad" and "that's only geeky little Ariel, she sux"
Realeo	Their playlist consists mostly of Rising Star, Hillsong, and Eurovision Song Contest' songs
StrangerCoug	Wanted to be a doctor as a kid but the closest they've come to that is processing medical claims
Vijarada	Won third place in a regional engineering competition in grade ten

Correct Matches	Amount Won
7	$50,000
6	$20,000
5	$10,000
4	$5,000
3	$2,000
2	$1,000
1	$500

Assistance: 1 Question | Tri-Identity

[D3f3nd3r]

Then I think it was Pabs, but I'll have him explain it just in case.

Pabs what was your getting shot in the face story?

[Aristophanes]

Postie has not survived being shot in the face.

RIP Postie!

[pablito]

So I was coming home at night from downtown after going to the European Union Film Festival (which is poorly timed, since it needs to be late April-early May for Eurovision Song Contest, but I am not the curator, so I cannot comment) and I didn't drive there, because parking inside the loop always costs at least 25 dollars, even if it's only for two hours. So I was on the bus with my cousin as we were coming home and she got off the bus at her own stop, and I stayed on the bus until my own stop. Usually the bus goes to the end of the line, which is nearby my house, but it was the last route of the night for that bus, so the bus stopped and the bus driver opened up the door and I looked all around and absolutely no one was around. I looked confused until the bus driver yelled at me to get off the bus a few times.

As I got off the bus, I realized I was still not too far away from my house, so I crossed the street and started walking home, when I noticed that there were heavy and quick footsteps behind me. I stepped a little to the side, so I could try to see the shadow a bit of whoever was there without making too much attention, but then the footsteps still got quicker. Unfortunately, I also stepped away from the street-side of the sidewalk, so I kinda trapped myself in a little bit just in case trouble was coming by. So by the time they were close to me, I looked around and saw a guy with a bag who was walking real fast. I just slowed down and let him pass, and I'm glad he just kept going. It was a bit freaky, because I walk so fast, so for someone to actually walk faster than me, I was a bit worried that someone was pursuing me. So I let out a bit of a sigh of relief and kept walking home.

On the bus earlier, I was talking with my cousin about celebrating someone's birthday at Medieval Times that weekend because we've never been there, and I thought it would be fun for us to get a group of eight adults and just drink beer and cheer on the jousting knights and continue to drink beer, and to end the night, drink even more beer. So as I turned the corner to the street going to my house, I decided it was safer and called up Medieval Times to make the reservation. I, "my lord", was put on hold because the reservation line apparently has a wait time, when I started to look behind me. There were two guys who were behind me and one of them told me "You know what this is." and I thought to myself "an epic battle between the knights templar and the knights of the round table? For shame, that we should feud without a proper lady of the castle to fight over!" no really, though, instead I just saw a guy with a gun aimed at me (not a mace or battle axe). So I thought to myself, "Hrm, this has to be a joke right? That's not a real gun is it? He's holding that too high for that to be real..." so instead of realizing that this was a robbery, I looked down at my phone for a second and thought "Aw, hell no, this isn't worth it." I just ran, because honorable knights know when to flank and parry. I knew I could outrun them too, because I'm a challenge beast, am I not? So as I ran away, I looked back and saw that they were still pursuing and I realized it wasn't a joke and they really were after my money (of which I had only 16 dollars in my wallet and no expensive electronics except my phone). So as I continued sprinting, I crossed the street in between the parked cars so that they would have obstacles and I would have cover, since I had no shield and no weapon. I heard gun shots behind me and was thankful to not feel any blood anywhere. So when I heard the gun shots, I yelled for help and the queen of the castle in the second floor apartment tower heard me and flung open her window. I looked back and noticed that the men were fleeing back toward their Southern kingdom, realizing that reinforcements were on their way soon.

"Are you alright?" She called out to me, obviously her knight in shining armor, even though I felt it was more like the opposite. "I'm alright! Thanks for your help!" "Do you need me to call 911?" she asked? At that moment, I realized I was still on hold with Medieval Times and hung up, clearly ashamed they had witnessed the battle on the phone and I will never be able to audition as a knight with them. "I'm calling them right now." I called out to her. "You're bleeding on your face!" she yelled down to me "Do you want to come in?" Embarrassed at my lack of show of bravery, and clouded by my foolish actions, I declined and touched my cheek. I was bleeding really, and was careful to not do anything to disrupt the potential crime scene evidence still in my face.

When the police came, I gave the report and the paramedics told me that there was some type of shrapnel in my face and that I should go to the ER immediately to get it removed and give it to the detective for evidence, so I went to the ER immediately. The police came and visited me there to take additional information about the men and the weapon. They told me I was lucky that I was alive. I agreed. When the doctor finally came by at the end of the night to remove the metal shrapnel, it turned out it was a round metal BB that was lodged in my cheek. So the detectives and police left, relieved it wasn't a felony robbery with an armed handgun, and the doctor stitched up my face. And then when I visited Medieval Times, I had my beer and my knight lost in the finals

[StrangerCoug]

Postie has not survived being shot in the face.

RIP Postie!

*plays the Funeral March*

[D3f3nd3r]

Okay, I think Pabs was shot in the face. That'll be my guess.

[KittyMo]

Correct

Strangers	Identities
Postie	Has read The Hobbit over 100 times
RadiantCowbells	Tried and failed to master telekinesis in their early teens

Strangers	Identities
Aristophanes	Has marathoned the LOTR Extended Editions on Christmas break the past 4 years
Errantparabola	Invented a chess variant with friends that partly involved fencing with pool sticks among other antics
Equinox	Once participated in, in front of over a hundred people, an embarrassing amalgam of Shakespeare and the modern day, containing such lines as "those wings are totally rad" and "that's only geeky little Ariel, she sux"
Realeo	Their playlist consists mostly of Rising Star, Hillsong, and Eurovision Song Contest' songs
StrangerCoug	Wanted to be a doctor as a kid but the closest they've come to that is processing medical claims
Vijarada	Won third place in a regional engineering competition in grade ten

Correct Matches	Amount Won
7	$50,000
6	$20,000
5	$10,000
4	$5,000
3	$2,000
2	$1,000
1	$500

Assistance: 1 Question | Tri-Identity

[D3f3nd3r]

RC, why read The Hobbit so many times?

[RadiantCowbells]

When I was in elementary school I was a pretty big nerd and pretty much was never learning anything when it was taught in class. Instead of paying attention in class I would usually read stuff. During like early Grade 7 I read The Hobbit the first time and it really struck me and I was basically just reading and re-reading the book for the majority of my lessons and then sometimes reading it more at home. I still read it every once in a while and it's still my favourite book

[D3f3nd3r]

I'm gonna guess that RC read The Hobbit.

If I'm right this should confirm the telekinesis thing as well, and I'll want to use my Tri-Dentity on the playlist/Eurovision thing.

[RadiantCowbells]

fifteen birds in five fir trees their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze

[D3f3nd3r]

Considering I've read The Hobbit twice and don't recall that line, I'm going to guess I was right

[RadiantCowbells]

oh just a few