Gay Mafia 3: Trumpocalypse Now D8

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 4.3

Syryana - 7 (Desperadio, SAD, Cephir, Antihero, Spiffeh, BS, Kise)
hiplop - 2 (Grey, DGB)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Syryana)
Ser Arthur Dayne - 1 (Hocho Knife)
Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)
Cephir - 1 (LRF)

With 17 alive it's 9 to lynch. Deadline is 4/23 at 6PM EST

[Cephrir]

I think im about to be school'd on waht one is.

Enjoy a jellybean.

Mastin wrote that? Yup, thats where I heard that from.

On that note I'm headed to bed.


Grey you want to join my bloc?

Yes. That's what they are.

It's also a pretty dumb concept 9 times out of 10.

[Kise]

Fuck a bloc. Where the hood at?

[Majiffy]

VOTE: Syryana

L-1

[-Grey-]

VOTE: Syryana

Boom. Head shot.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 4.3

Syryana - 9 (Desperadio, SAD, Cephir, Antihero, Spiffeh, BS, Kise, Majiffy, Grey)

hiplop - 2 (Grey, DGB)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Syryana)
Ser Arthur Dayne - 1 (Hocho Knife)
Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)
Cephir - 1 (LRF)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

"I have finally done it!" The horrible radiation-fused monstrosity gibbered with glee as it went over the latest vote tallies in the presidential election. 99.9% of the population had voted God Emperor Trump for another consecutive term. However, the .00001% of the vote that went for GarJil SteinSon proved it: 3rd parties CAN make a difference in United States elections. They oozed off into the sunset to beg for more money. Next year we'll get .00002%, maybe in a few cycles we can get on the main debate stage!

Syryana

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

GarJil SteinSon

, 3rd Party Vote-Splitter

In the years immediately following the God Emperor's ascension to the throne, both Gary Johnson and Jill Stein made their absurdly small base of followers flood the streets.

"Now is the time for third parties to rise," they would shout from the street corners, completely blissfully ignorant to the fact that balloting systems in the US and the electoral college system shut out third parties, and that trying to run as a third party would actually be fine if that pesky issue would get fixed. But still, the followers shouted, plugging their ears to reason and shouting "La! La! La! I cannot hear you!"

Eventually, Gary and Jill met. After years of battle, they realized that neither the Greens nor the Libertarians could seize power in this system. They had to unite their pitifully small bases into one mega super ultra small base of fringe voters! They underwent the surgery.

29 hours under the knife, and it was complete. They went into the OR as Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, and exited as... GARJIL STEINSON. Armed with the power of being obstructionist to progress, your one unified goal now is simple. SPLIT. THE. VOTE!

Active Abilities

1.

Early voting

- Targets another player. That player will vote for only one player for the rest of the following day phase. The vote must be picked that night. The player will receive a PM that says "You have been selected for compulsory early voting. You must vote tomorrow and you must choose your vote now". The thread will not be opened until they select their choice.
2.

Split the vote

- At night you must target two players (you will also do this pre-game). You will win and be removed from the game if, thrice during the time you are alive, the two players you picked are voting for different players at the end of a day. It will not count towards your wincon if a player is not voting.

Passive Abilities

1. None.

You win when you have successfully

split the vote

three times. You can, if you choose to, become a 3rd Party Treestump upon winning. Otherwise, you will join the Dead Thread.

Syryana,

GarJil Steinson, 3rd Party Vote-Splitter

, lynched Day 4

Syryana has, however, fulfilled their wincon by successfully SPLITTING THE VOTE three times with this lynch and therefore will be given the choice to become a treestump.

Night actions are due in 72 hours.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Choices received and are being processed. Day will start soon.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

breitbart.com

liberal meltdown: dem lawmaker goes on hammer spree, cuckservatives stand idly by

in a startling episode, democratic legislator grey completely quit even trying to look town and in a refreshing statement just said, "fuck it. why even bother trying to look town? I'M FUCKING SCUM AND PROUD OF IT. NO ONE'S PAYING ATTENTION ANYWAY. Boom. Head shot." before dropping the hammer vote on syryana. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEBODY AND PEOPLE STILL WOULDN'T SCUMREAD ME."

when asked for examples of what makes grey town, we were told that he is too blatantly obviously scum to be scum. one source also referenced some throwaway garbage talk about hammering pine when no such thing was seriously being discussed.

when asked for direct comment, grey only made a farting noise with his mouth.

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confronting the third party menace: an exclusive interview with ser arthur dayne

as syryana's untimely death has taught us, 3rd parties are among us just waiting to wreak havoc. i visited with ser arthur dayne, an expert committed to the elimination of these 3rd parties.

"i was delighted when you called me and wanted to do this interview. 3rd parties are a true scourge."

he then rolled out a board covered in string, pins, and newspaper clippings. at the center of this collage were pictures of pine, nacho, and kuribo, all of whom he has at some point either accused of being a third party or brought up the possibility of being a third party.

"pine and his whole 'baby-eating' routine doesn't fool me, what he's hiding is a million times worse."

"he's a third party. at least scum are part of a team but these selfish pricks have the audacity to not be aligned with either faction. they're only out for themselves."

at that point, he starting angrily mumbling under his breath about russian president vladimir putin so i asked him if his obsession with third parties might be clouding his judgment.

"OBSESSED? I AM NOT OBSESSED. HOW DARE YOU." he snarled, spraying a fine mist of spit as he spoke.

"i knew you would try to smear me, you two-faced cocksucker. you're probably with THEM. THE THIRD PARTIES. YOU TRAITOR."

sad ran from the room while repeatedly screaming that he was not obsessed. he declined our request for a second interview.

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the hunt for the elusive scum redirector continues in arizona

investigators continue their search for evidence of a scum redirector in the barren deserts of arizona amidst the deaths of police officer tammy and sheriff nachomamma8. the private eye tasked with the responsibility of watching these high profile targets, vaxkiller, has now twice failed to catch the perpetrator of these murders.
"i'm just sitting on my stakeout and all the sudden this thing comes out of nowhere and turns my nipples inside out until i faint. i wake up the next day in front of this doghouse with a ball gag in my mouth..."
physicians who have carefully examined vaxkiller's nipples are divided on whether or not the wounds were self-inflicted.

after interviewing vaxkiller, a police sketch artist has released the following rendering of what the suspect might look like:


officials in arizona are cautioning residents to be on the lookout for this potentially dangerous suspect. however, no one else has reported any sightings of him. some speculate that the "redirector" is actually a hoax to delay the construction of president trump's glorious border wall. breitbart reporters are currently looking into this theory.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Spiffeh, my son, sit by my side and I will never let you die

Spiffeh,

Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

, killed Night 4

Spiffeh

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Trumpkins, Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

Back before the wig transformed Master Trump into the glorious orange god that he is now, he was a common Oompa Loompa just like you. You and Trump were always the best of friends, and this friendship has carried you all the way from the jungles of Loompaland to the concrete jungles of America. Though the wig warped your friend's mind, he values your fierce loyalty and never lets you stray far from his side. However, the combination of the long years of your lone friend's madness and the alienness of your surroundings has forced you to the shadows, known only as the hooded butler Trumpkins who serves the God Emperor his cup of rage at every meal. Oompa Loompas live for a long time and can adapt well to any environment, and also they hate Jews, so you are doing quite well in Trump's inner circle.

Active Abilities

1. None

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

[SOME INFO REDACTED]

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

With 15 alive it's 8 to lynch. Deadline is 4/29 at 9PM EST

[Little Red Fedora]

I feel fucking useless.
VOTE: Cephir
-Ali

[Desperado]

vote: hocho knife

[Ser Arthur Dayne]

Niceeee I'm on fire.

Vote: Hiplop

Hiplop and Hocho Knife both on amazing lynches.

[Little Red Fedora]

Spiffy hard townread Hiplop and tbh I feel like he would be super SAD if we mislynched him.
As for Hocho, I just feel like Lurksuki is town. Like that super easy mislynch scum should be going for. Ya know?
-Ali

[Little Red Fedora]

Whatever.
I'm worthless.
And I feel super demotivated.
-Ali

[Ser Arthur Dayne]

Wait where's your doc protection alisae? :O

[Little Red Fedora]

Spiffeh, my son, sit by my side and I will never let you die


Spiffeh, Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor, killed Night 4

[Little Red Fedora]

Same post as Spiffy's kill.
-Ali

[Ser Arthur Dayne]

Also I very much enjoyed your post antihero it was very entertaining once again

Pedit: Oh lol.

[Little Red Fedora]

Also I very much enjoyed your post antihero it was very entertaining once again

Pedit: Oh lol.

Yeah get why I feel demotivated now atleast?
-Ali

[Cephrir]

Niceeee I'm on fire.

Vote: Hiplop

Hiplop and Hocho Knife both on amazing lynches.

Are you? I wouldn't call yesterday's lynch a success

[Cephrir]

there's no way to express enjoyment of excellent jokes without sounding sycophantic but have you considered a career in comedy writing?

[Cephrir]

I could get excited about lynching any of the following people today:

pine
majiffy
hocho
grey
vax

Which ones are actually scum? Can we lynch scum?

[kuribo]

I really want grey to be scum at this point in his bullshit gameplay

[Ser Arthur Dayne]

Niceeee I'm on fire.

Vote: Hiplop

Hiplop and Hocho Knife both on amazing lynches.

Are you? I wouldn't call yesterday's lynch a success

Uhh I mean I'm on fire in catching the people who aren't acting town because, well... they aren't town

I mean if Serena had actually played in a townie way and just tried to fulfill his wincon and then leave the game midway as victory-survivor, then it would have been a different case. But he was acting anti-town, so he needed to go.