I'm not really worried. More like the game has not really moved at all in the past few days, we're basically oscillating around the [drealerz/Spy/1SVT] focus. I'm not criticizing lack of activity more like going hey this is stagnating.
I'm also pretty mad/frustrated/miffed at Not-This-Game Things *ahem* so I am angry.
Remember, I had planned on a reread of D1. That has not happened, and, at least right now, I'm not interested in sitting down for a long read again.
Its been days, I can't recall why I focused on drealmerz besides for being wowed by the fire you showed when you sparred with him end of day yesterday.
I was a bit irked at your lack of clear and present scumreads but I'm learning who you are which is a win in my book and learning how I'm still an ass is also a win in the long-term.
Tammy wrote:When you decided to preemptive my suspicion with a wall about how I'm not playing well enough, which now that I think about it reads like you just discrediting me and trying to get me off track,
No it was one of those moments where a bit of the curtain was pulled back and I was able to see myself as I am. A small grace for me, and that's all that needs be said with a mask.
You basically said I'm your big question mark, which bothered me.
I was one of the more transparent players in my year - my towngame was obvious and my scumgame was as obvious as it was horrible. I was fairly easy to sort out.
I was incubating suspicion of you for awhile and said nothing in-Neighborhood because I played the silent game.
And hey, some people aren't ok with being open with me. Or me being open with them. Which is cool.
Uh, I digress.
I suspected you yet said nothing.
You said I was a question mark.
I realized I was holding back on you and thought sharing what weighed on my heart would help your read on me, for better or worse, as I wasn't quite transparent with you.
Tammy wrote:Did you realize that when you said your heart dropped because I made a post that said that I didn't have a strong scum read as of that point, that that post was made less than a week into the game.?
I can't recall if time was an issue. Obviously with Mikujin it was so late in D1/D2 that it was incredible suspect but here it was more perplexion as I had false expectations.
Which is my bad.
Tammy wrote:Am I really just not playing good enough if I don't have a strong scum read early in the game? And why am I not playing good enough if I'm working out my reads on people?
Look. We have playstyle differences. I'm sorry for expecting things of you that go against your trend. I won't talk about me.
I get you moving at a slower pace. I'm sorry if I rushed you or made you feel uncomfortable in your work.
I'm sorry for the part I played in the N2 Titus thing.
I'm not here to critique your play or your working through reads.
I appreciate decisiveness and perhaps expected you to be as decisive as I falsely remembered you being.
Tammy wrote:I'd like you to talk about these things and maybe since I'm asking here, you'll actually answer me.
I didn't mean this to be personal.
I want to know you better, especially when I clearly have misconceptions about you.
And hey, if people don't want to be chummy I'll eventually figure it out.
...thats all I'll say with the mask on.
I look forward to chatting overnight with you.
And Spiffeh. IIRC he said he needs to reconnect to the game and I could use a D1 reread so maybe we can work through this together.
I'll bow out for a bit now.