X-Men: Age of Apocalypse (Game Over)

[Marquis]

Beast can you quote that and this again? Sorry

M

[Rogue]

I'm seriously up for it right now if you are

[Marquis]

Let's go

[Rogue]

fuck gimme 40 I'm playing a troll league game

[Prof Fridays]

You should try adc Sona/support Galio sometime. Me and my friend did it against a Draven/Leona bot lane, and they got rekt so hard. Basically, we played super passive and they got pissed and kept diving us (sometimes with the jungler) under tower while we had our ults up lol. 3.5 seconds of AoE hard-CC too stronk. Good times.

[Feu et Vol]

I find it kind of amusing that Titus misread that too and thinks NS snapped because she wasn't supposed to read it, not because she ignored NS and assumed it was Mala saying that yet again.

NS I'm sorry, we should play PO Mafia sometime soon if you want to do that. If you don't ok but idk it could be a mutual stress reliever because I need it too.

M

Beast can you quote that and this again? Sorry

M

Let's go

[Nero Cain]

Getting the hood on a wagon and predicting a night kill.

I'm actually kinda thinking that makes it a one kill per night thing.

You have agenda.

This is mafia

everyone has an agenda

you know wtf I mean, an agenda beyond the scope of THIS GAME...

ok...

I admit that I have an agenda.

Spoiler:

Its just not the one you think I have. I bet you were so happy and giddy when you saw that I admitted to an agenda. My agenda is to purge Titus out of the game 'cause she either scum or really really really bad town. Neither of which I have an interest in keeping around.

I really hate both UFL and you saying "oh Titus is a good player, so lets not lynch her." I'm also really confused how you have read enough of the game to have a meta town read on Titus but are null on all of SOD, ULF, c9, toog, mac.

Do you think I'm scum? And if so, why?

[Speaker for the Dead]

My name appears a lot but the only real comclusion they draw is that I play like scum. That gives them the freedom to vote or unvote at will.

Actually the tl;dr version of what I was saying is that I see your actions as scum-motivated, I see your read progressions on different people as scum-motivated, and if you were any other player, I would be jamming your lynch down town's throat right about now, but I'm more cautious and I know you have a reputation for playing an illogical game (though I've never seen you play this illogically before) so I've been giving you leeway.

Mollie, on the other hand, has been calling you scum for most of the game, and I'm at the point where I cannot follow your reads and I think they're bad enough that I'm willing to let her have her way here. At worst, we lose someone who's playing an extremely anti-town game (spamming the thread unnecessarily to inflate the page count, reads that lack any logic or progression, lack of adequate responses to points raised against you, the business with not being willing to follow through with the eek hammer which I believe is because you feared he actually was a supersaint). But I'm coming around to the idea that the lack of sensible thoughts in your ISO is because you're scum and you're trying to play to some idea of your meta you have and hoping people will write you off as town because of it.

The statements muffina makes are a real obvious bus towards Feu.

And I know I really shouldn't expect a real response here, but I'm going to ask anyway. Which statements made you think this and why?

[Speaker for the Dead]

His "talking about it" boils down to "I don't think writing it off as not tvt is smart. i don't think either player is scum"

Actually I talked about the Titus/Eek thing on two different occasions. The first was shortly after the game had started when I hadn't read the thread in depth. I mentioned they both looked town from what I'd skimmed, you mentioned the argument was polarising and couldn't be TvT, I asked you to elaborate without using a word like polarising to brush over the details, you explained it by saying people were staying out of it and not wanting to step in, SnowStorm wanted you to follow up on it, you said not today.

It was dropped at this point because, well, what is there to discuss when you're unwilling to elaborate?

We didn't talk about reads again for a couple days because I was struggling to keep up with the game. Yesterday, while I was getting caught up on stuff I missed I engaged you in a conversation about it that developed after I asked you who you'd vote that isn't SnowStorm. You said you had issues remembering the playerlist and asked me to give you specific names, I said MetalMastin, Feu, Majiffy, Lurkers and mentioned mollie said Mac/Cheese and Titus. You gave your thoughts on the others and mentioned you were tabling Titus/Eek for later wanting an investigative report. I mentioned Eek was super duper town and that Titus always plays like scum and I see some things Titus was doing as looking more likely to come from town. You said you still can't see the Eek/Titus thing that happened early in the game as TvT. I asked what TvT looks like. You said annoying and mostly ignored. I asked you specifically about the thing you wrote earlier in the PT in regards to no one stepping in mentioning reasons I don't think it actually means anything, you asked me which possibility it was in this game, I said it depends who's scum but writing off TvT prior to flips isn't smart and mentioned I don't think either player was scum via play, you said you disagree and still strongly thought Eek-scum, I said wait what the fuck and explained why I thought Eek was really obviously town, you said no it doesn't look town and never elaborated. I said if one of them is scum it's Titus but that until I saw reason to think one of them was scum I was going to assume both town and the conversation ended at that point.

So what about my "talking about [Eek/Titus]" boils down to what you just said? I couldn't make it any fucking clearer that I think not only your reasoning for assuming it wasn't TvT, but your take on who is scum in that pair, was a load of shit. You never talked about why I was wrong about Eek beyond essentially saying, "nuh-uh". You never adequately explained why people not stepping in made it unlikely TvT.

Further, if you really thought it was not TvT and you strongly saw Eek as scum, why would you be tabling that for later? Why wouldn't you want to sort it ASAP?

My argument with Snowstorm at the bottom of page 87 for the next 5 pages has everything to do with underlying motivations and not superficial bullshit - but this is also the same argument I asked mollie to read twice and she ran away twice and I got snothead Muffin instead just calling it shit without actually pointing anything specific out.

I actually think SnowStorm has done a pretty good job of ripping your argument apart himself, but sure, I'll give you my take on it.

As I mentioned in #2550, starting with 2167 and 2177, you're using buzzwords and generalisations to push a case rather than actually illustrating why you think SnowStorm is scum or analysing his posts in any sensible way. #2167 is nothing but buzzwords. In #2177 when you were asked to provide multiple examples of SnowStorm fence-sitting, you pulled up two weak examples (the second of which I'm actually unsure why you think it should be classified as fence-sitting and the first of which is about the same as calling anyone who has weak town reads a fence sitter), then called something "badposting" (but didn't talk about why it was badposting or why that made him scum), then said he had a "poor" reaction to being wagoned (but didn't talk about why it was a poor reaction and why it made him scum) and then made generalisations with more buzzwords.

This sort of stuff is what I mean when I refer to your points as weak, surface-scratching stuff. There's no meat in this argument. None of these reasons are good reasons to think someone is scum. None of these reasons even make sense as reasons to scum read someone. There's no actual analysis. There's no trying to figure out his motivations. SnowStorm was right to call you out for it in 2182.

In 2194, you try to brush him off as parroting mollie's suspicion of you. There's no defense to this. I mean, you're not even really showing why you think that, you're just saying, "look at the timing, must be parroting".

In 2205, you try to brush off his reaction to you as "discrediting and flaccid OMGUS", which, quite frankly, is the biggest load of shit I've ever read. There's nothing to actually discredit because your case is so weak it's barely better than, "I think he's scum because he writes words!" And seriously, OMGUS? What the fuck is this? The Newbie Queue? "OMGUS" hasn't been a valid tell in a bajillion fucking years.

The next relevant post is 2291, where you call him out and there's nothing to even really say about it. You call some stuff lies, you call something a scum slip, talk about reactions, and then try to pull up a point about how he asked how he was lynchbait and then retracted it... Which, even if true, so what? (Also this reminds me of Event Card mafia where TiP got in a bit of trouble for calling himself lynchbait and then attacking someone else he called lynchbait; he was town, the argument was awful and a distraction)

Then 2319 where you make more generic statements about him not progressing the game state and having safe reads with plenty of outs. Something about discrediting the wagon and hoping it will go away, OMGUS, etc. And stuff about deflection and lying. Apart from the fact that you're again generalising to make the case seem more grandiose than it actually is, there's again a severe lack of actual analysis in your arugments here. You're again just using buzz words to make it look like you have more than you actually do, and you're again just making vague statements without actual supporting evidence.

Am I missing something here or is this everything?

I can't find a single decent point in your argument, you're not analysing his posts in a sensible way, you're using a whole lot of buzz words and making claims that you can't actually support

This is why I called your case shit. This is still why I think your case is shit.

Maybe show me why I'm wrong by pulling up stuff you think is scummy and explaining why.

Also the way he's approaching his read on Metal/Mastin (in that he apparently can't read either head very well but is waiting for mastin to post because...)

...I certainly dont think I can read metal so my best bet is to wait for mastin to show up and work it out between me bork ns and ven

Which, you know, failed to get mentioned. Because...

Are you fucking serious?

Everyone should pay close attention to how disingenuous this response from Majiffy is

In the neighbourhood QT, I specifically asked him whether he knew how to read mastin well or whether he thought he could read mastin well.

He responded by saying neither, followed by the thing he's suggesting I failed to mention

The issue I have with the way Majiffy is approaching the Metal/Mastin read is exactly what I said - he admitted he cannot read the mastin head well but is still waiting for mastin anyway. And he's trying to act as though I ommitted something when I made this statement.

He's full of fucking shit.

>Keeps claiming transparency
>Keeps doing the exact opposite of being transparent

This (and the other arguments) you're making about how we're not being transparent because I'm imitating mollie are really, really bad.

First, if we were scum and my goal was to imitate mollie to score some sort of town credit, I would not then openly admit to doing it. That would subvert the whole fucking point of it and make it utterly useless.

Second, apart from two posts, two whole posts which I admitted to, the only imitations of mollie I've done so far are troll posts that were virtually meaningless apart from being a bit of fun we're having (apologies, I'm aware mafia is srsbsns and fun and games aren't allowed)

You've been told explicitly by bork that I do this as town, so you know this isn't actually something that's scum-motivated

But you're continuing to push the apparent lack of town motivation here as a reason to scum read us. Which is just so bullshit it's not even funny. A lot of things that happen in a mafia game lack town motivation. For example, spamming the thread with fucking youtube links (a la page 94 / page 95 in this game had no actual town motivation and was anti-town by contributing to the inflated page count that's already too high as is). Rogue spamming letters of the alphabet wasn't town-motivated. There are plenty of fucking examples of shit that happens in a mafia game that lack town motivation, and none of these necessarily make a person scum.

I know your retort here is going to be how we're trying to obfuscate matters and make people unsure which head is posting what, but that's just beyond stupid. If you think I am able to fake a mollie wall, or that I'd even fucking bother (because if I was caught doing it, it'd look really bad if we were scum, so I wouldn't even risk it) OR if you really think any of the impersonations have been designed to hide something from town, you're fucking deluded. It's a bit of fun. Almost anyone with half a fucking brain can tell us apart 99.9% of the time and we correct the people mistaking us when they mistake us.

I can't understand why Mollie thinks I'm scum if all she does is run away every time I ask her to interact with me.

You're acting like mollie's intentionally avoiding you by not being at her PC 24/7.

You keep mentioning this like it means anything.

You're trying to make it seem like her not immediately responding to everything you write is significant in some way.

I think you'd be smarter than this if you were actually town.

[Speaker for the Dead]

muffin can you just say one last time clearly why you feel it is so necessary to impersonate mollie

It's not necessary. It's a bit of harmless fun.

Trudging through 100 pages of "ur scum" "no u r" "no u r" is not exactly my ideal way to spend a day. I do things for myself to lighten up my mood. Some of those things involve acts which others would see as trolling. There's no deeper meaning to this other than me wanting to muck around a bit in a game that's not all that enjoyable to begin with.

Ask Nati what he thinks if you want. Or just read 2213 if it isn't already obvious there's no malicious intent in doing it.

I suppose it's arguable that we'd do at as scum, too, but it wouldn't give us any sort of advantage.

I am pretty fucking sure mollie is unable to imitate the tone, language, demeanour, etc of any serious post I make and likewise, even if I thought I *could* possibly imitate any of the serious posts mollie could make on a language level, I am not completely sure of the way she interacts with others, so anything that we could possibly even fake would be minor and everything on a major level (like, say, every wall post mollie has written this game) should be pretty obviously not me.

[Speaker for the Dead]

Muffin telling me this whole hydra is bad pissed me the fuck off.

Look, I'm sorry. It was out of line and I'm not going to do it again.

I went to sleep at about 3am that morning, woke up at 7am to see 20 new pages in this thread and mollie complaining to me on skype from about 5am til when I woke up abut how the gmae had gone to shit, she was melting down and the game was beyond repair, etc etc. I had to do something in the morning, told her to take a break, do something else and not think about the game for a while. I got home, not in the best of moods, and lashed out at people. You and notscience were there, you were pushing reads way different from mine and you somehow thought mollie's posting was coming from a scum mindset (I still don't understand why you think or thought this but whatever)

This game has not been fun for me. I took a lot of the frustration that's been building up over the course of this game out on you, which was unfair. I post impulsively based on my mood sometimes and I'm not the most empathetic person.

I don't mind if you don't want to work with me. I am not the sort of person that generally seeks to work with people anyway, that's more mollie's thing. But I'll at least try not to make the game unfun for you from now on.

@Muffin:

Why would you possibly think taking random quotes from
Mollies scum games is a town fucking thing to do.

I didn't say it was a town thing to do (unless you're referring to the post where I broke up who was doing what posts, in which case that was dripping with sarcasm I thought was obvious).

I responded to this in a snarky manner the first time because I just don't know how to answer this.

I don't look at everything I write from the perspective of "hmm, is this a town thing to do?" unless I'm scum, and even then I write impulsively a lot of the time without thinking like that.

I saw Metal Sonic posting and thought, "hey, you know what would be kinda funny here? Quoting something mollie wrote in her last scum game with MS!" and did it. No deeper thought here. That's it.

*shrug*

[mastin2]

So I told Sonic to tell you all that I'm extending my V/LA until Monday (my birthday may have been on Wednesday, but the party for it is on Friday, and I work weekends), but I figured that because I have something else to say I might as well inform you of it directly:

Bluntly, I'm not reading 115 pages. I don't think it's possible for me to read 115 pages...plus the number of pages that will crop up during my V/LA. Oh, it's physically easy enough. Any person with enough time could pull it off, and come Monday I have plenty of time. I simply don't have the mental endurance to not only read, but also PROCESS that many pages, plus whatever content exists in the PT. (I haven't checked it except on the first day very briefly. Having access to it only on the hydra account certainly doesn't help.)

Not exactly sure how I'll manage to get my head into the game, but I'll figure something out come Monday.

[Nero Cain]

Why not read our 7 page pt?

[Nero Cain]

The deadline is also Monday so you've officially lurked though d1. good job

[Majiffy]

Im some t pages back and all I see is walls. Tomorrow it is!

[Ultimate Life Form]

Jiffy I've seen so many posts this game that register as town mollie and I don't endorse your push.

Muffin in regards to his excessive posting as Mollie:
Muffin: "I am just fucking with Mala because its fun and I want to see how far I can get away with it"
Maj: "Do you have any idea how annoying you are?"
Muffin: "Does that mean we make a good team?"
Maj: "If annoying everyone is your plan then sure"
Muffin: "That was part of my plan yes I thought that was obvious"

They are literally making themselves harder to read on purpose. 'for the lulz'.

AND THEN PROCEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW TRANSPARENT THEY ARE.

itt Idgaf what you say about my reads Chief scumfuck!

yeah i'm not actually interested in talking to someone who is so fucking awful at mafia that you can't read mollie, who is one of the most transparently obvious players on this site

This does not scan and you cannot willfully sit there and say this is town play.

this majiffy post is pretty golden and i agree with it 100%

So I told Sonic to tell you all that I'm extending my V/LA until Monday

okay mastina didnt actually tell me about this but WELL

looks like you have to deal with me for quite a while more!

i AM providing cliffnotes to mastina via our hydra qt

they may not be as perfect as mastina reading the whole game authentically but who on earth is mentally sane to read 115 pages lol BEATS ME


the strong meta team of myself-titus-majiffy is mutually getting scumtells on molliemuffin slot and this appears to be no coincidence

however bork disagrees and bork is also a member of the team



let me just mention that muffina's is making an unusually strong walls from what I have ever seen of his play and this means that they got an exciting role which may or may not be scum: REMEMBER MOST CUNNING MANIPULATOR AND REMEMBER MUFFINA IS DOING ALL OF THE WORK

>also remember that most cunning manipulator is an individual scummie so i always tread carefully with this master

in the pregame i was hoping that mastin+ me could play with s4td but because of the Vla its kind of 2 vs 1 and i am not ready for that

[Sharpest-knife-on-tree]

I really hate both UFL and you saying "oh Titus is a good player, so lets not lynch her." I'm also really confused how you have read enough of the game to have a meta town read on Titus but are null on all of SOD, ULF, c9, toog, mac.

then you confuse easy. I have had titus show up in multiple games and have developed a sense of how she is and got a sense of her town tone and alterations from it. The 5 you just listed, 4 are hydra's which take a bit more to sort and one is a player with no prior experience of. When I get a sense of someone I make it clear. It is how I play. I find folks who at this stage in the game think they have a read on every player to be disingenuous.

[Nero Cain]

I think that 115 pages are sufficient to atleast have an inkling of a players alignment. I'd argue that not having a read at this stage of the game is disingenuous.

[Speaker for the Dead]

@MS

i'm going to pretend you're town for a minute

why do you keep talking about the scummy like it actually means something? because it looks a lot like you're just trying to sow seeds of paranoia and i don't recall you making this big a deal of it in any of the other games we've played together recently

also i think mollie has not only made more walls than me this game, but has a majority of the posts, so i'm hardly doing all the work, let alone most of it

plus i don't see how you can actually agree with that majiffy post

i mean, apart from the fact i just broke down everything wrong with everything majiffy is pushing, even if i hadn't, it's still an illogical overreaction to something that isn't actually a big deal to anyone who thinks about it logically. like he is literally using the fact that i admitted to something to say i'm trying to hide it.

[pirate mollie]

in response to notty. doesn't have to be read cos it contains a lot of ogg stuff:

Spoiler:

Below isn't really game related, spoilered so you don't have to read it.

Spoiler: To mollie

I was seriously about to vote Majiffy after you called that, because I've been doubting myself on the reads for a while now. But I really have no intention of working with your slot now (it's not your fault). I love to work with you when I'm not being insanely paranoid. Same way I loved to work with nacho, but now every time we're in the same game together I take every single word he says to be scummy.

My paranoia was making me ignore the reachouts. I don't know why I didn't at least try. Do I regret it? Kinda, because maybe then muffin wouldn't have pissed off Mala.

IRL, I'm the kid who everyone in early school years thought was going places. Top of the class, the kid everyone went to with questions. When I got to High School, I started missing chunks of school. First few years were due to me not liking school. (I'm in an elite program and I am forever grateful they did not boot me). Everyone except my friends treated me like I didn't belong there. It fucking sucked. After a while, I gave up. I can take anything directed at me because frankly I can see everything said to me and see it from the "this is true" side and now I've built up some tolerance. You know the worst part of being in a group of people that hated you? I still wanted to make them laugh. I care more about others than I do myself, even if they treat me like shit. If they treat me like a friend, it hurts me even more when they're upset.

I play this game to play with friends. But, when my friends are upset, I get upset. You remember the first thing I did after Wicked? I pm'd you to apologize for stonewalling you against mala. I could care less what most of the rest thought. But I let my friends down, and that killed me.

I don't want to interact now. Muffin calling me shit I can take. Him saying to ignore me because my reads are shit I can take. But I can't take people upsetting my friends like that.

I did the alphabet the past few pages so I wouldn't say something stupid and get evicted from the game.

I've sat here and retyped this post several times. It kills me to type it but you need to see what I'm thinking right now if you're going to understand.

You know what the absolute worst part of all this is? I've reread this and I realized if I actually thought you were scum I wouldn't have bothered. And it kills me because I'm burning this bridge and I don't want to but I don't know what to do. I have absolutely zero fucking idea what to do right now. Right now it's taking all I have not to just break down crying.

notty I love you. even if we don't wind up working together just know that and know that I see you and value you as a human being and as a player. I think you are amazing.

I have been crying everyday for nearly 3 weeks so tears are about the only thing that I can relate to nowadays. IRL i had my heart completely and totally broken I mean I have not hurt this bad since my husband died. ironically I think it has made me nicer in all of my games cos I don't have the energy to rage anymore. and there is no1 I can talk to about it cos of the nature of what it is. some people know about it like desp, knows, majiffy knows cos I reached out to him and told him i really needed some fun in my life and reck obvsly knows but I don't want it to swallow anybody else like it has swallowed me. I told muffina that I was just feeling fragile but i didn't tell him what it was about. right I just can't talk about it. it just hurts too bad. the 1 person who I have always gone to and talked about the really deep things in my life is 1 of the people invloved.

lemme tell you something about muffina.

I know how abrasive he can be, he has been that way to me. he is at a point in his mafia evolution where he is just overall frustrated with bad playin gmaes so far and i can understand cos so am I. it is what it is making him lashout altho he wants to try to get back to more analytical approach. so when I asked to hydra it was cos I wanted to learn specific things from him. I asked him to choose a name cos I am not good at that sort of thing and when he chose speaker for the dead cos of the ender's game quote I used to have in my sig I was really blown away. cos while the storyline of those books are good, they only appeal to a certain kind of person, since the underlying message in those books is a humanitarian 1, about forgiveness, compassion and truly understanding another being to the fullest capability as possible. when muffina chose that name it spoke volumes about him in a way that he probably doesn't realise. I think he senses that I need this game, I need this distraction cos he is very much present in our chatlog which consist mostly entirely of this game. he is caring about the game cos I care and that is why he is walling and trying to send out a very clear town signal and help me work out this game. he has pretty much been a rock.

what I am trying to tell you is that beneath that abrasive veneer is a genuine human being who most likely contains some of the better qualities of humanity than what he lets on. majiffy and kuribo are the same way. majiffy is just a giant IRL teddy bear and while I don't know kuribo that well, he has let down his guard a couple of times to let me see the real him.

I think mala, given enough time will hopefully get to the same mature place as borky and move beyond it. in the meantime if you don't wanna work with me i understand cos i certainly don't want to put you in the awkward position of feeling disloyal to your hydra partner. but thank you for reaching out and telling me where you are at, that will help things tremendously.

@ mod - will be v/la on weekends

I will still try to post when I can but I won't be around that much so it will be mostly muffina.

[Speaker for the Dead]

in response to notty. doesn't have to be read cos it contains a lot of ogg stuff:

Spoiler:

Below isn't really game related, spoilered so you don't have to read it.

Spoiler: To mollie

I was seriously about to vote Majiffy after you called that, because I've been doubting myself on the reads for a while now. But I really have no intention of working with your slot now (it's not your fault). I love to work with you when I'm not being insanely paranoid. Same way I loved to work with nacho, but now every time we're in the same game together I take every single word he says to be scummy.

My paranoia was making me ignore the reachouts. I don't know why I didn't at least try. Do I regret it? Kinda, because maybe then muffin wouldn't have pissed off Mala.

IRL, I'm the kid who everyone in early school years thought was going places. Top of the class, the kid everyone went to with questions. When I got to High School, I started missing chunks of school. First few years were due to me not liking school. (I'm in an elite program and I am forever grateful they did not boot me). Everyone except my friends treated me like I didn't belong there. It fucking sucked. After a while, I gave up. I can take anything directed at me because frankly I can see everything said to me and see it from the "this is true" side and now I've built up some tolerance. You know the worst part of being in a group of people that hated you? I still wanted to make them laugh. I care more about others than I do myself, even if they treat me like shit. If they treat me like a friend, it hurts me even more when they're upset.

I play this game to play with friends. But, when my friends are upset, I get upset. You remember the first thing I did after Wicked? I pm'd you to apologize for stonewalling you against mala. I could care less what most of the rest thought. But I let my friends down, and that killed me.

I don't want to interact now. Muffin calling me shit I can take. Him saying to ignore me because my reads are shit I can take. But I can't take people upsetting my friends like that.

I did the alphabet the past few pages so I wouldn't say something stupid and get evicted from the game.

I've sat here and retyped this post several times. It kills me to type it but you need to see what I'm thinking right now if you're going to understand.

You know what the absolute worst part of all this is? I've reread this and I realized if I actually thought you were scum I wouldn't have bothered. And it kills me because I'm burning this bridge and I don't want to but I don't know what to do. I have absolutely zero fucking idea what to do right now. Right now it's taking all I have not to just break down crying.

notty I love you. even if we don't wind up working together just know that and know that I see you and value you as a human being and as a player. I think you are amazing.

I have been crying everyday for nearly 3 weeks so tears are about the only thing that I can relate to nowadays. IRL i had my heart completely and totally broken I mean I have not hurt this bad since my husband died. ironically I think it has made me nicer in all of my games cos I don't have the energy to rage anymore. and there is no1 I can talk to about it cos of the nature of what it is. some people know about it like desp, knows, majiffy knows cos I reached out to him and told him i really needed some fun in my life and reck obvsly knows but I don't want it to swallow anybody else like it has swallowed me. I told muffina that I was just feeling fragile but i didn't tell him what it was about. right I just can't talk about it. it just hurts too bad. the 1 person who I have always gone to and talked about the really deep things in my life is 1 of the people invloved.

lemme tell you something about muffina.

I know how abrasive he can be, he has been that way to me. he is at a point in his mafia evolution where he is just overall frustrated with bad playin gmaes so far and i can understand cos so am I. it is what it is making him lashout altho he wants to try to get back to more analytical approach. so when I asked to hydra it was cos I wanted to learn specific things from him. I asked him to choose a name cos I am not good at that sort of thing and when he chose speaker for the dead cos of the ender's game quote I used to have in my sig I was really blown away. cos while the storyline of those books are good, they only appeal to a certain kind of person, since the underlying message in those books is a humanitarian 1, about forgiveness, compassion and truly understanding another being to the fullest capability as possible. when muffina chose that name it spoke volumes about him in a way that he probably doesn't realise. I think he senses that I need this game, I need this distraction cos he is very much present in our chatlog which consist mostly entirely of this game. he is caring about the game cos I care and that is why he is walling and trying to send out a very clear town signal and help me work out this game. he has pretty much been a rock.

what I am trying to tell you is that beneath that abrasive veneer is a genuine human being who most likely contains some of the better qualities of humanity than what he lets on. majiffy and kuribo are the same way. majiffy is just a giant IRL teddy bear and while I don't know kuribo that well, he has let down his guard a couple of times to let me see the real him.

I think mala, given enough time will hopefully get to the same mature place as borky and move beyond it. in the meantime if you don't wanna work with me i understand cos i certainly don't want to put you in the awkward position of feeling disloyal to your hydra partner. but thank you for reaching out and telling me where you are at, that will help things tremendously.

@ mod - will be v/la on weekends

I will still try to post when I can but I won't be around that much so it will be mostly muffina.

sorry

[Ultimate Life Form]

in response to notty. doesn't have to be read cos it contains a lot of ogg stuff:

Spoiler:

Below isn't really game related, spoilered so you don't have to read it.

Spoiler: To mollie

I was seriously about to vote Majiffy after you called that, because I've been doubting myself on the reads for a while now. But I really have no intention of working with your slot now (it's not your fault). I love to work with you when I'm not being insanely paranoid. Same way I loved to work with nacho, but now every time we're in the same game together I take every single word he says to be scummy.

My paranoia was making me ignore the reachouts. I don't know why I didn't at least try. Do I regret it? Kinda, because maybe then muffin wouldn't have pissed off Mala.

IRL, I'm the kid who everyone in early school years thought was going places. Top of the class, the kid everyone went to with questions. When I got to High School, I started missing chunks of school. First few years were due to me not liking school. (I'm in an elite program and I am forever grateful they did not boot me). Everyone except my friends treated me like I didn't belong there. It fucking sucked. After a while, I gave up. I can take anything directed at me because frankly I can see everything said to me and see it from the "this is true" side and now I've built up some tolerance. You know the worst part of being in a group of people that hated you? I still wanted to make them laugh. I care more about others than I do myself, even if they treat me like shit. If they treat me like a friend, it hurts me even more when they're upset.

I play this game to play with friends. But, when my friends are upset, I get upset. You remember the first thing I did after Wicked? I pm'd you to apologize for stonewalling you against mala. I could care less what most of the rest thought. But I let my friends down, and that killed me.

I don't want to interact now. Muffin calling me shit I can take. Him saying to ignore me because my reads are shit I can take. But I can't take people upsetting my friends like that.

I did the alphabet the past few pages so I wouldn't say something stupid and get evicted from the game.

I've sat here and retyped this post several times. It kills me to type it but you need to see what I'm thinking right now if you're going to understand.

You know what the absolute worst part of all this is? I've reread this and I realized if I actually thought you were scum I wouldn't have bothered. And it kills me because I'm burning this bridge and I don't want to but I don't know what to do. I have absolutely zero fucking idea what to do right now. Right now it's taking all I have not to just break down crying.

notty I love you. even if we don't wind up working together just know that and know that I see you and value you as a human being and as a player. I think you are amazing.

I have been crying everyday for nearly 3 weeks so tears are about the only thing that I can relate to nowadays. IRL i had my heart completely and totally broken I mean I have not hurt this bad since my husband died. ironically I think it has made me nicer in all of my games cos I don't have the energy to rage anymore. and there is no1 I can talk to about it cos of the nature of what it is. some people know about it like desp, knows, majiffy knows cos I reached out to him and told him i really needed some fun in my life and reck obvsly knows but I don't want it to swallow anybody else like it has swallowed me. I told muffina that I was just feeling fragile but i didn't tell him what it was about. right I just can't talk about it. it just hurts too bad. the 1 person who I have always gone to and talked about the really deep things in my life is 1 of the people invloved.

lemme tell you something about muffina.

I know how abrasive he can be, he has been that way to me. he is at a point in his mafia evolution where he is just overall frustrated with bad playin gmaes so far and i can understand cos so am I. it is what it is making him lashout altho he wants to try to get back to more analytical approach. so when I asked to hydra it was cos I wanted to learn specific things from him. I asked him to choose a name cos I am not good at that sort of thing and when he chose speaker for the dead cos of the ender's game quote I used to have in my sig I was really blown away. cos while the storyline of those books are good, they only appeal to a certain kind of person, since the underlying message in those books is a humanitarian 1, about forgiveness, compassion and truly understanding another being to the fullest capability as possible. when muffina chose that name it spoke volumes about him in a way that he probably doesn't realise. I think he senses that I need this game, I need this distraction cos he is very much present in our chatlog which consist mostly entirely of this game. he is caring about the game cos I care and that is why he is walling and trying to send out a very clear town signal and help me work out this game. he has pretty much been a rock.

what I am trying to tell you is that beneath that abrasive veneer is a genuine human being who most likely contains some of the better qualities of humanity than what he lets on. majiffy and kuribo are the same way. majiffy is just a giant IRL teddy bear and while I don't know kuribo that well, he has let down his guard a couple of times to let me see the real him.

I think mala, given enough time will hopefully get to the same mature place as borky and move beyond it. in the meantime if you don't wanna work with me i understand cos i certainly don't want to put you in the awkward position of feeling disloyal to your hydra partner. but thank you for reaching out and telling me where you are at, that will help things tremendously.

@ mod - will be v/la on weekends

I will still try to post when I can but I won't be around that much so it will be mostly muffina.

ookay, no way this is coming from scum, if your slot is scum mollie i will smite you with the power of 1000 suns. i think notty will too.





YOUR SLOT GETS A FREE PASS BECAUSE ATTEMPTING TO READ YOU IS HEAD ACHE

[Ultimate Life Form]

@MS

i'm going to pretend you're town for a minute

why do you keep talking about the scummy like it actually means something? because it looks a lot like you're just trying to sow seeds of paranoia and i don't recall you making this big a deal of it in any of the other games we've played together recently

also i think mollie has not only made more walls than me this game, but has a majority of the posts, so i'm hardly doing all the work, let alone most of it

plus i don't see how you can actually agree with that majiffy post

i mean, apart from the fact i just broke down everything wrong with everything majiffy is pushing, even if i hadn't, it's still an illogical overreaction to something that isn't actually a big deal to anyone who thinks about it logically. like he is literally using the fact that i admitted to something to say i'm trying to hide it.

in the other games we played recently, you get obvtown really easily and its very easy for me. in that one other game that i seen you play, i was dead, and i saw you tear town to pieces in the dead thread i forgot if you were scum/3rd party. i pretty much guessed you easily (didnt get spoilers) even though i didn't know how to explain/articulate but "omg town look at his cunning manipulator over his head how can you buy everything that he says 100%???"

prior to that mollie emotional post @ notty, your slot was a VERY GRAY area. I know the both of you, so that is very very alarming and if you're gray you're probably scum considering both your skill levels. thats prior to mollie's post, now im just having your slot as conftown with very disastrous out-of-game consequences if you guys flip scum, lol




due to you and mollie mutually messing up the heads and how we read your slot, im not going to attempt to differentiate your heads for the rest of the game, and as i said im gonna assume its all by you, unless mollie hydraslips conveniently for authenticity.



yea ok fine i was confbiasing okay im sorry

[Speaker for the Dead]

UNVOTE: titus

I am going to talk to muffina tonight when I get off work.

for the most part I have had snow as unsure but muffina has had him as town but snow did something that I have only seen come from scum and I wanna talk about it.

[Sharpest-knife-on-tree]

I think that 115 pages are sufficient to atleast have an inkling of a players alignment. I'd argue that not having a read at this stage of the game is disingenuous.

I would answer that if I thought you really cared but since I don't think you care and are seeking to lynch someone because you do not like how they play it demonstrates that you really don't care what anyone else thinks.