Gay Mafia 3: Trumpocalypse Now D8

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

moderated by: Sir Elton Hercules John
reviewed by: Cabd

Suckin' That Tiny Baby Dick (Alive)

(7)

Spoiler:

Kuribo

MathBlade

Pine

Majiffy

Antihero

Wraith

-Grey-

Cephir

bundle of sticks (Cephir/BPC)

hiplop

Ser Arthur Dayne

Kise

Pussy Grabbed (Dead)

(17)

Spoiler:

Formerfish, Billy Bush,

Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

, lynched D1
Firebringer, Cliven Bundy,

Town Paranoid Gun Owner

, killed N1
Bellsprout, Ben Carson,

Town Desperado

, shot himself D2
xyzzy,

Eric Trump, Town Backup Trumpster

, lynched Day 2
Tammy,

Omarosa, Town Cop

, killed Night 2
Albert B. Rampage,

Ziggy Stardust, Mafia Intergalactic Godfather,

lynched Day 3
TheRealGin-And-Tonic

Nachomamma8

,

Joe Arapio, Town Jailkeeper

, killed Night 3
Syryana,

, GarJil Steinson, 3rd Party Vote-Splitter

, lynched and fulfilled their wincon Day 4
Spiffeh,

Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

, killed Night 4
Hocho Knife, Ivanka Trump,

Town Trump-Informed Nose Holder

lynched Day 5
DrippingGoofball,

The Nuge, Town 1-shot-Vig Maker

, committed suicide in a Pray Away The Gay forced counselling camp Night 5
Desperado,

God Emperor Trump, Town Macho Enabled JOAT

, killed Night 5

Vaxkiller [Queen Bey],

Mafia Roleblocker

, was lynched D6

Brian Skies, Rudy Giuliani,

Town Stop-and-Frisker

killed Night 6
Little Red Fedora, Jesus Christ,

Arrogant Mafia Doctor

killed Night 6
Mathblade, Retluoc'Nna,

Town Self-Inflicted Negative JOAT

, lynched Day 7
Kise,

Mike "Motherfuckin'" Pence, Town Conversion Therapist

killed Night 7

Ejected Into The Cosmos, Baby (modkilled)

Nobody, hopefully.

General Rules

1) Starting and Ending States:

All roles that can communicate at Night may do during pregame. The game will end when one faction has fulfilled its win condition, unless otherwise specified.

2) Day Procedures:

Each player may discuss the game and cast a single vote at a time against people they want to lynch. Day ends when either the deadline hits or a strict majority of the votes are on one person.

3) Voting:

Votes should be in

bold

in order for them to count, for instance:

Vote: The Homosexual Agenda

. You may also use the VOTE: tags if you desire. If you wish to vote for a different player, you don't need to unvote. As long as I can tell who you're voting for, I don't care if you abbreviate someone's name when you vote them.

4) No Lynch:

As an alternative to voting for someone, you may

Vote: No Lynch

, but for it to take effect, enough players must vote No Lynch that it would be impossible to form any other majority.

5) Deadlines:

D1 deadline will be 3 weeks. Every day from then on will have a strict deadline of 2 weeks, unless a ridiculous amount of replacements are needed.

6) Mass Inactivity:

In an act of pure villainy, I may shorten the deadline if I deem the activity level is unsatisfactory. You will be warned if I want you fellows to pick up the pace.

7) Deadline Lynches:

If no single player has enough votes for a lynch at the deadline, the result is No Lynch and the game proceeds to Night. Deadlines are there for a reason.

8) Twilight:

After someone receives the majority vote, everyone may still discuss the game, but votes and unvotes will not be considered - the person voted for by the majority will be lynched regardless. Twilight will last until I waltz in and post a death scene (which can be quite short, but never really long)

9) Night Length and Procedures:

The topic will be locked at Night. If your Role PM specifies that you have a Night Action, you may follow the instructions on that PM to use it. Barring extenuating circumstances, Nights will not last longer than 3 RL days.

10) Night Action Resubmission:

If you have to PM a choice to the mod (i.e. the name of someone you want to kill/protect/investigate), you may change your choice at any time during the Night by sending The Mod another PM with the new choice. The most recent choice will be honored.

11) Night Action Priority:

This game will use natural action resolution, unless otherwise stated by the mod.

12) Bolding Stuff:

Bolding something is how you get the mod to notice it. It's that simple.

13) Mod Color:

If The Mods needs to edit your post, it will be done in

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. Don't impersonate me, or I'll cut off your thumbs and feed them to you.

14) Activity, Prods, and Replacements:

You will be prodded if three days have passed since your last post. You will be replaced if you do not post after another 24 hours, or if you need to be prodded three times throughout the game. If you know ahead of time that you will not be able to participate for at least 48 hours, go ahead and announce it in-thread so nobody (such as the mod) thinks you're lurking. I reserve the right to blacklist flakers or people who maliciously replace out.

15) "Last Words" for replacements:

If you request replacement, you may PM me a message that you would like to have passed on to the person who replaces you.

16) "Bah!" Posts:

If your player slot is killed off, it's probably because people don't want you around. Unless your role specifically states you can keep talking/voting/playing parcheesi with me, you are allowed one informationless "bah" post and then scram til endgame. Special mechanics can of course overlap

17) Outside Discussion:

Don't discuss this game outside of this thread with anyone unless your Role PM lets you do otherwise.

18) Post Editing:

Editing or deleting posts is not allowed (and usually not possible). Doublepost with your changes instead.

19a) Mod and PM quoting:

For role PMs, If you quote it, you will be modkilled. You can send me the reformulation (I'm pretty loose with reformulation) and I will tell you if posting it is allowed or if it needs further modifications. If you quote a PM from me, you will be terminated (barring questions about rules or something).

19b) QTs and Private Communication:

If it is a moderator provided method of communication (i.e., neighbor QT, or masons who can daytalk and use AIM)

do not quote it in the thread

. Obviously, do not provide links to the QT in any way shape or form.

20) Modkills:

Breaking any of the above three rules (or flagrantly violating Rule 16) will result in you getting modkilled. Modkills can be retroactive. If a living player breaks any of these rules, the day may or may not end, depending on what would disadvantage that player's faction the most. In addition, getting modkilled results in an instant loss for that player, along with my general hatred. In short, follow the rules, don't be a dick.

21) Small/Invisible text:

You may use smaller text if it amuses you, as long as it's not meant to bypass a rule. As in, no hidden messages or shit like that. I will fuck you up for fucking with my game.

22) Win Mentality:

Play to win.

23) Policy:

Have fun. Or else. And remember, it's a game - keep it classy and don't take things personally; everyone's doing what they have to to win.

24) Setup Design:

You can try to outguess the mod, but it's probably pointless. Flavor is being used as the backbone of the game, but the game is unbreakable by flavor. Certain aspects of the setup were designed around flavor, whereas other aspects had the flavor applied after the fact.

25) Flavor:

Flavor revolves around the apocalypic hellscape created by the ascent to power of Donald Trump.


Sample VT role PM:

PLAYER NAME

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Sir Elton Hercules John

,

Vanilla Townie

!

You suck a lot of dick but you still love you some good old fashioned Trump fuckin'. All hail the supreme leader.

Active Abilities

1. None

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The year: unknown. Time, irrelevant because God is dead and Trump killed him.

Trump sat in his golden throne at his very long and not at all compensatory dining table. Mutant hellbeasts stood guard at either side of him. His castle stood tall in the New Capital Of Planet Earth... Laredo, Texas. From his perch, Trump could stare out at the wall bearing his name outside. He chuckled to himself.

The door behind him swung open.

"

Here is your steak, Mr. Trump,

"

the poor Mexican eight-year-old said, passing the plate to Trump, hands trembling.

Trump snapped his neck towards the child, his jowls following his face a few moments behind.

"

That's GOD EMPEROR TRUMP, to you!

"

He pulled his huge, really truly spectacular manly hand back and slapped the kid across the face. His hands were so meaty and powerful, the kid flew all the way back into the Great Wall behind him. He turned back to his plate and let out an angry screech, startling even the hellbeasts beside him. He sent his plate flying into the very magnificent American-made granite and marble walls of the dining hall.

"

This isn't even well-done! And where the FUCK is my ketchup!

"

Trump growled at his guards, who took the cue and hurried off into the kitchen to execute the new chef. It'd be the third chef this week. Good help is hard to find, especially when you've executed all the gays, Muslims, Mexicans, Jews, Catholics, people who have ever tweeted something positive about SNL, former cast members of SNL, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Australians, bird people...

Ziggy Stardust sat on unicorn, gliding across the rainbow bridge back to the main compound. He had spent the day at the pool, relaxing, because he knew what was coming.

The dusty red Martian landscape had become so endearing to him and his guests. The time bubble that Elton had setup was still in place and gave the sky a distortion field effect that made the stars look like they were swimming.

He had just gotten the call from Elton.

"

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At the end of the rainbow, Ziggy dismounted his faithful steed and rubbed its beautiful shimmering mane.

"

I think I will miss you most of all, Spartacus.

"

Spartacus whinnied in response and flapped its wings, sailing off over the Martian desert towards destinations unknown.

Ziggy turned and paused. It could've been for a moment. It could've been for eternity.

This was it. This was what they had all been waiting for. Elton had called on him.
After this meeting, the War for Earth would begin.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

PLAYER NAME

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

God Emperor Trump

, Macho Town Enabled JOAT

Who's laughing now, bitches? You were the laughingstock of the factory. All the big people looked at your green hair and orange skin and small stature and tiny hands and laughed and laughed and laughed saying oh look at this little guy he's a cute oompa loompa let's go do important big people things. It made you so angry. Then you were united with a sentient wig and everything changed. Especially your penis which was totally fine before but now... well let's just say there's no problem. The wig changed you. You got big. Super big. Especially your penis, which as I said before is totally a good size there's no need to measure it or even really have sex with the lights on we all know how big it is. The wig whispered to you. It told you secrets about how to harness the energy of fear and racism on your way to becoming GOD EMPEROR OF THE WORLD. You won your first election a landslide, possibly the biggest landslide in the history of the universe, which you make sure all your loyal subjects tattoo on their bodies, and each subsequent victory has also been the biggest. Everyone loves you and no one ever says anything about your hands. You will rule over this universe for a thousand years of peace and prosperity, no matter what those weird homosexuals say about how big your penis is. They're totally wrong. It's yuge.

Active Abilities

1.

I promise you, there's no problem

- REDACTED
2.

Pussy grabbing

- REDACTED
3.

Twitter

- REDACTED
4.

The wall

- REDACTED
5.

FAKE NEWS

- REDACTED

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2.

Enabled

. All of your active and passive abilities (not including your vote and macho modifier) are enabled.
3. Any protective abilities that target you will fail.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

This is a public PM confirming:
- God Emperor Trump is in the game
- He is town
- He has multiple active abilities
- Those active abilities are enabled abilities

All of this to say: mafia, you probably wanna find this player. Town, you probably wanna make sure this player stays as safe as possible.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Due to not confirming within 24 hours, SnarkySnowman has been replaced by Firebringer.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

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Elton floated over to his war chest and took a deep breath before unlocking it and lifting the lid. Rainbow light illuminated his spectral face.

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Behind him, Elton's infiltration squad stood in silence. Without turning to him, he muttered.

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With that, Elton slammed his hand down on the button in the chest. A bright light enveloped the room, and in the span of a split second, his team was gone. They were plummeting to Earth in their scrotal pods. The Final Battle had begun.

---

Wolfgang Johnson was thrilled to spend his first night guarding The Wall.

It has been his dream, ever since his father's father's father was a Wall Guard, to take up the mantle as well.

He spent the previous night carving new swastikas into his body in the few places that weren't already covered. He even went down to the Government Loyalty Complex to get the official Government-sponsored Trump spraytan. The way the orange spray pooled and hardened in his fresh swastika wounds made it look like he was bleeding neon orange. His head was freshly shaved, and he had memorized the entire first 100 pages of

Mein Drumpf

to make sure he was in the right headspace.

So far, it was boring as shit though. Seven hours into his shift. 4:00AM. Nothing had gone down. Not even one stupid Mexican had tried to get past the wall so he hadn't even had a chance to kill anyone! What a waste. Granted, some of that might be due to the fact that the Tacocaust resulted in most of the Mexican people dying anyway.

Suddenly, he had to take a leak. Nobody was around. Why not? How many people in the world could honestly say they had a chance to piss off the Wall? He whipped out his totally normal sized and not at all deformed cock and let the Mountain Dew and moonshine flow from his frothy dick down the wall, landing on the radioactive Mexican soil hundreds and hundreds of miles below. Just as he was about to let out a long sigh... he noticed something in the distance.

The lights started out faint enough that he thought it was just another Trumpcopter making the rounds. But as it got closer... it wasn't just one light. It was multiple. And behind them, sparkling rainbows streaked across the night's sky. They got closer, closer, closer... and before he could react, Wolfgang was smashed in the face by a giant rainbow testicle. He didn't have time to think. He didn't have time to react. He simply flew back in the air, tumbling off the side of the wall on the American side, cock still wagging in the wind, piss still erupting. His training had taught him to do one thing in the event of an incident at the wall: hit his panic button. Off behind him, he heard an explosion, and was able to tilt his head enough to see glitter exploding in the air. He hit has panic button.

Wolfgang's body smashed into the ground. His bones shattered. His body folded in on itself like a sofa bed. Bits of him flew off. He died immediately. And then his infected piss stream caught up with him. The last thing Wolfgang did before he died was piss on his own face.

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LIBERALS, FAKE NEWS CONSPIRE TO DESTROY DEMOCRACY, WHITE PEOPLE

Journalists here at Breitbart News have uncovered explosive allegations regarding a conspiracy among Christian-hating, Marx-worshiping liberal terrorists to destroy all the values we Americans hold dear. Said one anonymous source close to the President, "President Trump has the best proof that former President Obama collaborated with communist Chinese agents, the Clinton Foundation, and Muslim terrorists from his home country of Kenya to rig the 2016 elections. Luckily, his plot was thwarted thanks to the efforts of hard-working, God-fearing white Americans, but the danger remains."

To offer a counterpoint, Breitbart reporters interviewed a liberal attending a local university.

"Donald Trump is an illegitimate president," said the liberal, leading an angry mob to burn down a local church before praising Allah at his mosque. "Bernie Sanders was cheated of the nomination."

Former President Barack HUSSEIN Obama declined to comment.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 1.1

Formerfish - 10 (Desperado, Firebringer, Vaxkiller, xyzzy, Brian Skies, -Grey-, SAD, Majiffy, Hocho Knife, Kise)
Brian Skies - 2 (Spiffeh, Little Red Fedora)
Firebringer - 2 (Wraith, Formerfish)
xyzzy - 1 (ABR)
Kise - 1 (Pine)
Majiffy - 1 (Syryana)
bundle of sticks - 1 (kuribo)

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[Sir Elton Hercules John]

PSA: Reck and I have a lot of stuff going on in our lives over the next couple of days. You'll get at least one votecount every day, but if you shit out a bunch of pages this week it's likely that there will be gaps between votecounts. Please don't PM us to complain.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

A lynch has been reached.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 1.1

Formerfish - 13 (Desperado, Firebringer, Vaxkiller, xyzzy, Brian Skies, -Grey-, SAD, Majiffy, Hocho Knife, Kise, ABR, DGB, Bellsprout)

Brian Skies - 2 (Little Red Fedora, Wraith)
Firebringer - 1 (Formerfish)
xyzzy - 1 (ABR)
Kise - 1 (Pine)
Majiffy - 2 (Syryana, Spiffeh)
bundle of sticks - 1 (kuribo)

Formerfish

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Billy Bush

, Town Pussy Grabber Trump-Enabling Neighbor

God Emperor Trump just keeps you around because you're the only one he can engage in for some good old-fashioned locker room talk. Seriously, though, you're not allowed to leave his sight. He really grabbed your life by the pussy

[REDACTED]

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Night begins now. Night actions are due in 72 hours.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

(Flavor will go here)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The Daily Breitbart aka 100% real news fuck the jews

ANONYMOUS SOURCES FINGER SUSPECTS FOR LIBERAL TREASON, TERRORIST SYMPATHIES

Breitbart reporters worked all through the night to uncover proof of traitors fermenting the American Carnage. They found no hard proof, but an anonymous source very close to the President who is definitely not involved with Breitbart in any way named names the intelligence community is looking into.

"This Desperado guy is really suspicious," said our source. "His entire ISO is pushing a RVS wagon on his own brother and trying to get him lynched as early as possible for no real reason."

These accusations are clear proof that Desperado is a secret agent for former President Obama, and he is probably the person of interest who was photographed wiretapping Trump Tower during last year's election.

Spoiler: Photographic Proof of Desperado Wiretapping Trump Tower

"Also, the votes by Brian, SAD, Majiffy, Kise, DGB, ABR, and Bellsprout were all terrible too. That whole wagon was just awful," the anonymous source added. "Right now if I had to guess at who the liberal traitors are, I'd go for Desperado, Brian, DGB, Kise, or Majiffy."

All traitors named by this source declined to comment.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

HOLY SHIT I'M SO GREAT I HEALED SPIFFEH LIKE A MUTHAFUCKIN BOSS TOUCHIN UGLY HOES TURNIN WATER INTO FINE

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Cliven Bundy reclined elegantly in his calf-skin armchair, a pencil balanced gently between his finger, the crossword puzzle of the Failing New York Times draped over his crossed knee. He brought the pencil thoughtfully to his lips as he contemplated the answer to 46 Down: Gilded puppetmasters. Seven letters." After a moment's thought he traced the letters deliberately THEJEWS. It fit! He sighed and picked up his pearlescent teacup off of this saucer and sipped the rosewater and lemongrass tea. The perfect temperature. Divine.

He stood up to check his mail. He cinched his silk kimono around his manly potbelly with the leather belt and holster for the .50 cal revolver that he used as his casualwear carry. He stepped into the totally manly fuzzy slippers that all freedom loving cowboys of the American Frontier like to wear, and shuffled to his front door. He opened the door and blinked at what looked like the business end of a really big gun. Faster than freedom dies in a socialist democracy his revolver had spit hot handloaded lead three times. Despite the fact that he was the ideal cowboy and an American hero, he had been caught off guard and took one to the chest. As he bled out on the pink granite entryway of his palatial ranch house, he thought of a life well-lived and knew his children would watch the cattle and hate The Negro, just as he had. It wasn't so bad to die.

Firebringer

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Cliven Bundy, Town Paranoid Gun Owner

Get this: you lead an armed insurgency against the federal government, didn't get shot to death, went to trial, and were acquitted by a jury.

Being old and white is fucking awesome, right!?!?!?

You thought getting rid of #Obummer would be the start of something great. Granted, come on, Trump isn't some roody poo here to take your guns away. But he's also not exactly

white

, either. More of a "burnt tangerine orangutan" flavor. And while you're certainly better off than you were under President Buttface (that's your own insult and you're proud of it), you've gotta keep your guard up, lest "they" come for your guns in the middle of the night.

Active Abilities

None.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches.
2.

From My Cold Dead Hands

: You're crazy. Like, legitimately crazy. And also, you own guns. You own enough to take over a federal building in an armed insurgency. Thus, you are a paranoid gun owner. Simple, right? If anyone visits you at night, you'll shoot them dead the second they step into your home.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Firebringer, Cliven Bundy

Town Paranoid Gun Owner

, killed Night 1.

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.1

Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Guys, we're sorry that stuff was delayed this week. Everything should run a lot smoother now. Thank you for your patience.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.2

Brian Skies - 4 (LRF, Desperado, SAD, Majiffy)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)
Majiffy - 1 (Spiffeh)
Spiffeh - 1 (Majiffy)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.3

Majiffy - 7 (Spiffeh, DGB, Wraith, ABR, bundle of sticks, Majiffy, kuribo, LRF)
Vaxkiller - 3 (Spiffeh, Bellsprout, Hocho Knife)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)
Tammy - 1 (hiplop)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)
Wraith - 1 ((low energy!)SAD)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.4

Majiffy - 6 (DGB, Wraith, bundle of sticks, Majiffy, kuribo, LRF)
Vaxkiller - 4 (Spiffeh, Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, (low energy) SAD)
Little Red Fedora - 4 (Brian Skies, ABR, Kise, Grey)
Tammy - 1 (hiplop)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)
hiplop - 1 (Syryana)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.5

Vaxkiller - 7 (Spiffeh, Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, (low energy) SAD, Syryana, Majiffy, xyzzy)
Majiffy - 6 (DGB, Wraith, bundle of sticks, Vaxkiller, kuribo, LRF)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Brian Skies, ABR, Kise)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
Nacho - 1 (hiplop)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Guys, if I make a mistake in the votecount, please PM me about it. Don't clutter up the thread any more than it already is.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.6

Vaxkiller - 8 (Spiffeh, Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, SAD, Syryana, Majiffy, xyzzy, kuribo)
Majiffy - 5 (DGB, Wraith, bundle of sticks, Vaxkiller, LRF)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Brian Skies, ABR, Kise)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
Nacho - 1 (hiplop)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Is this low energy some form of delayed day kill on me

Goodbye guys it was good knowing you..........

it's just me having fun

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

ignore me I'm dumb

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.8

Vaxkiller - 4 (Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, Majiffy, xyzzy)
Hocho Knife - 3 (SAD, kuribo, hiplop)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Brian Skies, ABR, Kise)
Majiffy - 2 (DGB, Wraith)
ABR - 2 (LRF, Syryana)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
Wraith - 1 (Vaxkiller)
Kise - 1 (Grey)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.9

Little Red Fedora - 5 (Brian Skies, ABR, Kise, Majiffy, Nacho)
Vaxkiller - 3 (Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, xyzzy)
Hocho Knife - 3 (SAD, kuribo, hiplop)
Majiffy - 3 (DGB, Wraith, bundle of sticks)
ABR - 2 (LRF, Syryana)
Syryana - 1 (Desperado)
Wraith - 2 (Vaxkiller, Grey)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

Again, if you suspect there is a mistake in a votecount, PM the mods about it, don't post it in thread.

A. I'm way more likely to see it if it's a PM
B. No useless clutter in the thread

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.10

Little Red Fedora - 4 (Brian Skies, ABR, Majiffy, Nacho)
Vaxkiller - 3 (Bellsprout, Hocho Knife, xyzzy)
Hocho Knife - 3 (SAD, kuribo, hiplop)
Pine - 3 (Kise, Desperado, bundle of sticks)
ABR - 2 (LRF, Syryana)
Wraith - 2 (Vaxkiller, Grey)
Majiffy - 2 (DGB, Wraith)

With 22 alive, it's 12 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Ben Carson awoke.

He had slumbered for what might have been millennia. He cared not for time any longer.

Ever since God Emperor Trump brought upon the Great Orange Age, he had slumbered. Existing in the pre-Trump world was so tiring, he was constantly having trouble keeping his eyes open.

But now... now, he was awake.

He sensed danger. Once, he had saved lives. Now, Ben Carson had undergone years of training. He was going to be the Good Guy With a Gun to stop the Bad Guys.

"GET DOOOOOWN!"

Ben screeched at the top of his lungs as the rest of the crowd looked on confused. He whipped out his gun, aiming it wildly, trying to find who his Carson Senses had identified as a threat.

Concentrate, Ben, dammit!

Carson closed his eyes. Back in his natural state, he had learned to see the world from behind shut eyelids. He became one with the gun. He followed his instincts.

He found the bad guy.

He pulled the trigger.

The last thing Ben Carson saw was a bullet racing through his eyelids at close range.

Whoops!

He thought as the bullet shredded his brain matter.

Bellsprout, Ben Carson,

Town Desperado

, shot himself D2

Vote count resets. Game continues.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.11

Hocho Knife - 3 (Spiffeh, bundle of sticks, Syryana)
Little Red Fedora - 2 (Brian Skies, Kise)
Majiffy - 1 (Vaxkiller)
ABR - 1 (LRF)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.12

Hocho Knife - 8 (bundle of sticks, Syryana, SAD, Desperado, kuribo, Wraith, Kise, ABR)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Brian Skies, Kise)
ABR - 2 (Spiffeh, Grey)
Majiffy - 1 (Vaxkiller)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)
Grey - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.13

Hocho Knife - 8 (bundle of sticks, Syryana, SAD, Desperado, kuribo, Wraith, Kise, ABR)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Brian Skies, Kise)
ABR - 1 (Spiffeh)
Majiffy - 1 (Vaxkiller)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)
Grey - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.14

Hocho Knife - 9 (bundle of sticks, Syryana, SAD, Desperado, kuribo, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy)
Little Red Fedora - 2 (Brian Skies, Kise)
Majiffy - 2 (Vaxkiller, DGB)
ABR - 1 (Spiffeh)
bundle of sticks - 1 (Majiffy)
xyzzy - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

You will have d3 to say as much as you don't worry at least then you might be more humbled by a Hocho scum flip.

Ya and you'll look like a complete fucktard when we flip town

arms and legs inside the hydra at all times, folks

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.15

Hocho Knife - 10 (bundle of sticks, Syryana, SAD, Desperado, kuribo, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy, Grey)
Little Red Fedora - 2 (Brian Skies, Kise)
Majiffy - 2 (Vaxkiller, DGB)
ABR - 1 (Spiffeh)
xyzzy - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Looks like jiffy is a double voter.

Cool.

fixed the votecount

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

bump

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.16

Hocho Knife - 9 (bundle of sticks, Syryana, SAD, Desperado, kuribo, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)
Majiffy - 2 (Vaxkiller, DGB)
ABR - 1 (Spiffeh)
xyzzy - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Cephir replaces bundle of sticks

VC 2.17

Hocho Knife - 7 (Cephir, Syryana, Desperado, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy)
Majiffy - 2 (Vaxkiller, DGB)
Syryana - 1 (SAD)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)
ABR - 1 (Spiffeh)
xyzzy - 1 (LRF)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.18

Hocho Knife - 9 (Cephir, Syryana, Desperado, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy, DGB, LRF)
xyzzy - 4 (Nacho, Wraith, Grey, Spiffeh)
Majiffy - 1 (Vaxkiller)
Syryana - 1 (SAD)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)
kuribo - 1 (Hocho Knife)
SAD - 1 (kuribo)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

VC 2.19

xyzzy - 11 (Nacho, Wraith, Grey, Spiffeh, SAD, Cephir, Syryana, DGB, LRF, Vaxkiller, kuribo)

Hocho Knife - 6 (Desperado, Wraith, Kise, ABR, Majiffy, Hocho)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Brian Skies)

With 21 alive, it's 11 to lynch. Deadline is 4/1 at 4PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

In an earlier time, Trump strode confidently around the gleaming laboratory. The test tubes,
stainless steel surfaces, and busy scientists were a physical symbol of his wealth and ability to outbuy whoever and own the nicest and biggest and best things. At the center of the lab was the centerpiece of his project. Enormous glass tubes spanned the distance from floor to ceiling. They glowed greenly in contrast to the white and steel sterility around them. Inside, in various stages of development, were clones of Trump himself. They were the key to his immortality.

Today that lab sits empty. The project is long abandoned and its final product shambles around the world with dimmed consciousness. They never did manage to fully transfer Trump's essence. Maybe he is too much to contain in one man. The true cloning project is the nation, as he has transferred his essence to each loyal man, woman, and child. We all have a little Trump in us now. That is the secret to true immortality.

The last vestige of the defunct cloning project lay bloodied on his golf course. Killed by gay terrorists. Eric put up the fight as best he could, but his half-baked state left him with no ability to defend himself like a true heir to God Emperor Trump. He feebly threw up his fists and swung as the terrorists bludgeoned him to death with their spiked dildoes. He was felled by the first hit, and the rest were expressions of frustration and hatred. When the Not-at-All-a-Secret Police found him, he had already begun to dissolve into promordial goo and his fluids were hissing softly "but I have so much moneyyyyyyyyyyy".

xyzzy

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Eric Trump

, Backup Trumpster

You were the misshapen clone created in an effort to maintain 1000 Years of The Donald, an ill-fated attempt in the early 80's to have a constantly rotating troupe of Trump clones to make sure that God Emperor Trump would remain ever youthful to the public. Unfortunately, they never got down the consciousness-transferring part, so you mostly just retweet racist shit and do cocaine. It's a good life. You'll be able to pull off some of the same stuff he does when he dies, but because you never actually had to work for anything, it'll just be a little bit.

Active Abilities

1. None

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. If Donald Trump dies, you will, at random, be given a 1-shot version of an unused ability that Donald Trump had at the time of his death.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

xyzzy,

Eric Trump, Town Backup Trumpster

, lynched Day 2

Night actions are due in 72 hours

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Processing actions. Day 3 will begin soon. Thank you for your patience.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

THE DAILY BREITBART

DASTARDLY LIBERAL CONSPIRACY CONDUCT SMEAR JOB OF TOP WHITE HOUSE AIDE

Rumors swirled in Washington the past week that Stephen Bannon - top Trump Administration strategist and former editor-in-chief of this publication - suffers from secret homosexual mental illness. These rumors are of course completely false, as confirmed by Bannon himself when contacted for comment:

"These rumors are an exceedingly obvious smear campaign orchestrated by homosexual communist degenerates," said Bannon. "I have been married three times, after all. A married man cannot possibly be homosexual. These conspirators simply seek to undermine the Trump Administration as we roll out efforts to keep decent, god-fearing white Americans safe from all threats."

-----------------------

Real talk though, I'm dispensing with the gimmick at this point. This is Wraith speaking.

I was in contact with Kise throughout D2 and N2. He wanted me to get his suspicions out there in case he ended up dead:

Kise believes the scum are likely to be within LRF, Spiffeh, Cephir, hiplop, and Syryana.

Kise also believes in the "scum Loud Doctor gambit to confirm Spiffeh" than I do, which is why I've also been giving that theory more credence.

He hoped Tammy would investigate LRF because he strongly believed LRF was scum. He's also rather dubious about Cephir, I guess for both his play combined with his Miller claim.

Moving on to anything I have to say.

I consider Nacho, Kise, and Vaxkiller confirmed at this point.

Grey is a great target for a Vig shot IMO. I think someone speculated he might be a Bomb that would kill Trump if lynched. I'm still paranoid about LRF and Spiffeh being scumbuddies that ran a confirmation gambit, definitely would prefer to lynch LRF first if we want to make sure.

If kuribo and/or SAD are still alive by morning that's very suspect. I personally am dubious of kuribo's soft Vig claim, but it's very plausible he fakeclaimed to draw a nightkill or roleblock. So I will find it suspect if kuribo at the very least is still alive by dawn.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The gigantic ice sculpture of a black man kneeling before God Emperor Trump was melting gently in the center of the conference room. Omarosa glanced quickly at her watch for the 50908098th time and thought "Surely Lord Trump will be here soon". A contingent of The Blacks were beginning to become restless as Omarosa promised yet again that he was coming soon. She never saw the bladed dildo coming. It sliced a line of red across her neck and she collapsed heavily onto the ground. The Blacks began to loot....

Tammy

You are

Omarosa, Town Cop

Because you occupy the sacred position of The Blacks in God Emperor Trump's Friend Triumverate friend group of along with The Poorly Educated and Literal Actual Nazis, you have been given the most important duty of all, snitching like it's going out of style. You report on the actions and opinions of The Blacks to God Emperor Trump in order to stay in favor and not be cleansed.

Active Abilities

1.

Happens to be black

. You may target another player at night. If successful, you will be told the alignment of that player.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Tammy,

Omarosa, Town Cop

killed Night 2.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

MMM WHAT A DELICIOUS MUSLIM BABY. THE TASTE OF GOAT COMPLIMENTS THE C4 WELL

Layin' hands on Nacho. Curing him of anything because I'm such a muthafukkin BAUS

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. We are in a holding pattern briefly.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.1

hiplop - 1 (ABR)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.2

LRF - 6 (BS, Nacho, SAD, Cephir, Syryana, Grey)
ABR - 3 (kuribo, Spiffeh, LRF)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.3

LRF - 6 (Nacho, Cephir, Syryana, Grey, Hocho Knife, Wraith)
ABR - 4 (kuribo, Spiffeh, LRF, Desperado)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.4

LRF - 6 (Nacho, Cephir, Syryana, Grey, Hocho Knife, Wraith)
ABR - 5 (kuribo, Spiffeh, Desperado, SAD, Brian Skies)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)
Vaxkiller - 1 (LRF)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Let's just resolve this.

@Mod: Are actions that change a player's submitted action considered "bastard?

It would depend on the role. I'm not confirming or denying any setup information, which is clearly what this question was designed to do. I

can

read, you know.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.5

ABR - 8 (kuribo, Spiffeh, Desperado, SAD, Brian Skies, LRF, Cephir, Majiffy)
LRF - 5 (Nacho, Syryana, Grey, Hocho Knife, Wraith)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.6

ABR - 9 (kuribo, Spiffeh, Desperado, SAD, Brian Skies, LRF, Cephir, Majiffy, Vaxkiller)
LRF - 5 (Nacho, Syryana, Grey, Hocho Knife, Antihero)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

Antihero replaces Wraith

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 3.7

ABR - 10 (kuribo, Spiffeh, Desperado, SAD, Brian Skies, LRF, Cephir, Majiffy, Vaxkiller, Grey)

LRF - 4 (Nacho, Syryana, Hocho Knife, Antihero)
hiplop - 2 (ABR, Kise)

With 19 alive it's 10 to lynch. Deadline is 4/14 at 9PM EST

A lynch has been reached!

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The teeming mass descended upon a cloaked figure and beat it mercilessly. The cloak was torn away to be secreted off as a prize and the gang was overwhelmed by a dazzling golden light. David Bowie stood up, naked and bloody, theatrically stretched his arms towards his murderers.

I forgive you my children. Not all can be as sexy as me.

His jaw was taken off as three AR-15s spit lead at him. Several of the mob were killed in the crossfire.

America.

Albert B. Rampage

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Ziggy Stardust

, Intergalactic Magical Mafia Godfather

2016 was a rough year. You saw this shit coming from way far away. God Emperor Trump's rise was inevitable, but you were prescient enough to record a farewell album and peace out before things got bad. What people missed, though, is that Bowie doesn't die. Bowie transcends. In that mystical groovy purgatory between life and death, you finally became Ziggy Stardust. In the millenia since God Emperor Trump rose to power, you've been biding your time in the Great Beyond, pulling together your funkadelic army and waiting for the moment to return.

That time is now. It's time to topple Trump and return the world to a funkadelic rock-n-roll orgy.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. During pre-game and then each night, you must select

LSD

or

Mushrooms

.

LSD

will make you bulletproof.

Mushrooms

will make you investigation immune. If you are ever shot at while bulletproof, you will lose that selection and just become investigation immune permanently.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

Night actions are due in 72 hours.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

TheRealGin-and-Tonic is replacing Nacho. I am giving him a short while to catch up on the game. Actions have been received and processed.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Ain't nothin getting to Nacho through my divine powers

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

breitbart.com

sweet boy takes over as executive chair of breitbart

it's with a heavy heart that we report our former executive chair wraith was forced to resign his post in the face of a relentless liberal smear campaign. in his resignation letter, he cited distress stemming from a toxic gamestate: "I think literally every single one of my posts D3 has been met with some sort of personal attack and I'm not dealing with another suffocatingly toxic environment." we are sad to see him go and thank him for his days of service.

sweet boy, whose qualifications include the ability to shoot darts out his nose, was named as wraith's successor. when asked to comment the st bernard declined, possibly because he's a dog and can't talk.

in twist of irony, suspected agent of the homosexual agenda helps bring down ziggy stardust

in a sudden and unexpected move, grey ended david bowie's reign of terror as mafia godfather with an abrupt hammer. observers at the time noted "ew.........." and "What's up with the random hammer from grey?" indeed, grey made little mention of abr prior to the hammer and his previous vote was on the lrf counterwagon, a fact grey claims he "actually" "forgot."

grey replied to our request for comment with "Yo mama." however, my mother's connection to this story remains unclear and is being investigated further.

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suspicious circumstances surrounding police officer's tragic death: is BLM anti-police rhetoric or the deep state to blame?

investigators are still puzzled over the high profile murder case, mostly with the issue of her absent security detail. doctors titus and alisae of the little red fedora doctors-on-call agency speculated in a statement that even with their medical expertise, there was likely nothing they could have done anyway: "Strongman to balance against me. Tammy dies even when I heal her." further, they placed the blame for tammy's death on supposed governor of arizona, vaxkiller. vaxkiller claims to have been drugged and dumped at the residence of ser arthur dayne without his pants. the fact that he could not describe who could've drugged him in any kind of detail have led some to speculate he's actually a plant of the deep state who allowed the dedicated, god-fearing police woman to be viciously murdered to further his radical left agenda.

we will update you on this story as we learn more.

presidents' claim of rampant voter fraud proven true: former tennis player caught stuffing the ballot box

contrary to what mainstream media will have you believe, voter fraud is very real. recently it was discovered that disgraced professional tennis player syrana, banned from the sport for doping, has the ability to make votes "stick." what's more concerning is his behavior following his voter fraud. foregoing an abr vote he instead chose to pursue lrf, causing many to wonder what his motivation for vote-locking abr was in the first place.

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#DRAINTHESWAMP! the trump team's push to crack down on lurkers

"Replace out or start contributing. It's really not that fucking hard"
"You have been the most useless player IN THIS GAME AND THAT IS FUCKING SAYING SOMETHING"
in a series of scathing rebukes, spiffeh strongly urged the less active to get off their asses by issuing this warning while frothing at the mouth:
"Any of Pine, Hocho Knife, Majiffy, hiplop, DGB, Syryana that are actually town need to step it the fuck up. Town will lose this game if the town of these players continue to do nothing"
undoubtedly, all these lurkers are a drag on the hard-working taxpayer. however, hiplop stands out as being particularly useless in a way i've never seen before. even though the psyduck is not known for being the most prolific poster, he always put thought into what he did post and that's noticeably absent in the last few days. this has prompted top trump aides to call for the fbi to open an investigation into his e-mail activity.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Flavor soon

TheRealGin-And-Tonic

Nachomamma8

,

Joe Arapio, Town Jailkeeper

, killed Night 3

Nachomamma8

You are

Joe Arapio, Town Jailkeeper

You were given a special place in the Court of God-Emperor Trump when you came up with a foolproof plan for getting rid of all of the god damn Mexicans (spoiler alert it was concentration camps). You won a lifetime appointment as Chief Deputy of Killing all the God Damn Mexicans when the last Probably A Rapist I Dunno They Don't Send Their Best People died in your special pepto-colored jail. At this point you more or less have the ability to throw whoever in there, and since your dick hasn't worked since 1975 it's the only joy you get in life.

Active Abilities

1.

I'll ask you one more time you filthy pinko mexirat, was the birth certificate real!?!

Each night, you can throw someone in one of the many privately-owned prisons you've constructed around the country until they admit that O-He Who Must Not Be Named-bama was born in Kenya. You only hold people in there for the night because due to the reeducation programs designed by His Trumpness everyone who doesn't believe this already is dead. So the whole exercise is kind of pointless, but since the 4th Amendment doesn't exist anymore it's just something police officers can do for fun now. While they are in your jail, any actions they take will fail. Actions taken against them will fail because too because by Trump you're getting your confession.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

With 17 alive it's 9 to lynch. Deadline is 4/23 at 6PM EST

Votecount 4.1

Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

First votecount has been added to the day opening post.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 4.2

Syryana - 4 (Desperadio, SAD, Cephir, Antihero)
Little Red Fedora - 3 (Kise, BS, Syryana)
hiplop - 1 (Grey)
Ser Arthur Dayne - 1 (Hocho Knife)
Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)

With 17 alive it's 9 to lynch. Deadline is 4/23 at 6PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

MODS can we get an updated playerlist in the first post please? Thanks

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

bump

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

bump

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 4.3

Syryana - 7 (Desperadio, SAD, Cephir, Antihero, Spiffeh, BS, Kise)
hiplop - 2 (Grey, DGB)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Syryana)
Ser Arthur Dayne - 1 (Hocho Knife)
Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)
Cephir - 1 (LRF)

With 17 alive it's 9 to lynch. Deadline is 4/23 at 6PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 4.3

Syryana - 9 (Desperadio, SAD, Cephir, Antihero, Spiffeh, BS, Kise, Majiffy, Grey)

hiplop - 2 (Grey, DGB)
Little Red Fedora - 1 (Syryana)
Ser Arthur Dayne - 1 (Hocho Knife)
Hocho Knife - 1 (hiplop)
Cephir - 1 (LRF)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

"I have finally done it!" The horrible radiation-fused monstrosity gibbered with glee as it went over the latest vote tallies in the presidential election. 99.9% of the population had voted God Emperor Trump for another consecutive term. However, the .00001% of the vote that went for GarJil SteinSon proved it: 3rd parties CAN make a difference in United States elections. They oozed off into the sunset to beg for more money. Next year we'll get .00002%, maybe in a few cycles we can get on the main debate stage!

Syryana

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

GarJil SteinSon

, 3rd Party Vote-Splitter

In the years immediately following the God Emperor's ascension to the throne, both Gary Johnson and Jill Stein made their absurdly small base of followers flood the streets.

"Now is the time for third parties to rise," they would shout from the street corners, completely blissfully ignorant to the fact that balloting systems in the US and the electoral college system shut out third parties, and that trying to run as a third party would actually be fine if that pesky issue would get fixed. But still, the followers shouted, plugging their ears to reason and shouting "La! La! La! I cannot hear you!"

Eventually, Gary and Jill met. After years of battle, they realized that neither the Greens nor the Libertarians could seize power in this system. They had to unite their pitifully small bases into one mega super ultra small base of fringe voters! They underwent the surgery.

29 hours under the knife, and it was complete. They went into the OR as Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, and exited as... GARJIL STEINSON. Armed with the power of being obstructionist to progress, your one unified goal now is simple. SPLIT. THE. VOTE!

Active Abilities

1.

Early voting

- Targets another player. That player will vote for only one player for the rest of the following day phase. The vote must be picked that night. The player will receive a PM that says "You have been selected for compulsory early voting. You must vote tomorrow and you must choose your vote now". The thread will not be opened until they select their choice.
2.

Split the vote

- At night you must target two players (you will also do this pre-game). You will win and be removed from the game if, thrice during the time you are alive, the two players you picked are voting for different players at the end of a day. It will not count towards your wincon if a player is not voting.

Passive Abilities

1. None.

You win when you have successfully

split the vote

three times. You can, if you choose to, become a 3rd Party Treestump upon winning. Otherwise, you will join the Dead Thread.

Syryana,

GarJil Steinson, 3rd Party Vote-Splitter

, lynched Day 4

Syryana has, however, fulfilled their wincon by successfully SPLITTING THE VOTE three times with this lynch and therefore will be given the choice to become a treestump.

Night actions are due in 72 hours.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Choices received and are being processed. Day will start soon.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

breitbart.com

liberal meltdown: dem lawmaker goes on hammer spree, cuckservatives stand idly by

in a startling episode, democratic legislator grey completely quit even trying to look town and in a refreshing statement just said, "fuck it. why even bother trying to look town? I'M FUCKING SCUM AND PROUD OF IT. NO ONE'S PAYING ATTENTION ANYWAY. Boom. Head shot." before dropping the hammer vote on syryana. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA I COULD STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND SHOOT SOMEBODY AND PEOPLE STILL WOULDN'T SCUMREAD ME."

when asked for examples of what makes grey town, we were told that he is too blatantly obviously scum to be scum. one source also referenced some throwaway garbage talk about hammering pine when no such thing was seriously being discussed.

when asked for direct comment, grey only made a farting noise with his mouth.

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confronting the third party menace: an exclusive interview with ser arthur dayne

as syryana's untimely death has taught us, 3rd parties are among us just waiting to wreak havoc. i visited with ser arthur dayne, an expert committed to the elimination of these 3rd parties.

"i was delighted when you called me and wanted to do this interview. 3rd parties are a true scourge."

he then rolled out a board covered in string, pins, and newspaper clippings. at the center of this collage were pictures of pine, nacho, and kuribo, all of whom he has at some point either accused of being a third party or brought up the possibility of being a third party.

"pine and his whole 'baby-eating' routine doesn't fool me, what he's hiding is a million times worse."

"he's a third party. at least scum are part of a team but these selfish pricks have the audacity to not be aligned with either faction. they're only out for themselves."

at that point, he starting angrily mumbling under his breath about russian president vladimir putin so i asked him if his obsession with third parties might be clouding his judgment.

"OBSESSED? I AM NOT OBSESSED. HOW DARE YOU." he snarled, spraying a fine mist of spit as he spoke.

"i knew you would try to smear me, you two-faced cocksucker. you're probably with THEM. THE THIRD PARTIES. YOU TRAITOR."

sad ran from the room while repeatedly screaming that he was not obsessed. he declined our request for a second interview.

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the hunt for the elusive scum redirector continues in arizona

investigators continue their search for evidence of a scum redirector in the barren deserts of arizona amidst the deaths of police officer tammy and sheriff nachomamma8. the private eye tasked with the responsibility of watching these high profile targets, vaxkiller, has now twice failed to catch the perpetrator of these murders.
"i'm just sitting on my stakeout and all the sudden this thing comes out of nowhere and turns my nipples inside out until i faint. i wake up the next day in front of this doghouse with a ball gag in my mouth..."
physicians who have carefully examined vaxkiller's nipples are divided on whether or not the wounds were self-inflicted.

after interviewing vaxkiller, a police sketch artist has released the following rendering of what the suspect might look like:


officials in arizona are cautioning residents to be on the lookout for this potentially dangerous suspect. however, no one else has reported any sightings of him. some speculate that the "redirector" is actually a hoax to delay the construction of president trump's glorious border wall. breitbart reporters are currently looking into this theory.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Spiffeh, my son, sit by my side and I will never let you die

Spiffeh,

Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

, killed Night 4

Spiffeh

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Trumpkins, Town Trump-Enabling Neighbor

Back before the wig transformed Master Trump into the glorious orange god that he is now, he was a common Oompa Loompa just like you. You and Trump were always the best of friends, and this friendship has carried you all the way from the jungles of Loompaland to the concrete jungles of America. Though the wig warped your friend's mind, he values your fierce loyalty and never lets you stray far from his side. However, the combination of the long years of your lone friend's madness and the alienness of your surroundings has forced you to the shadows, known only as the hooded butler Trumpkins who serves the God Emperor his cup of rage at every meal. Oompa Loompas live for a long time and can adapt well to any environment, and also they hate Jews, so you are doing quite well in Trump's inner circle.

Active Abilities

1. None

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

[SOME INFO REDACTED]

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

With 15 alive it's 8 to lynch. Deadline is 4/29 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 5.1

Hocho Knife - 6 (Desperado, Brian Skies, Majiffy, Kise, hiplop, Antihero)
hiplop - 1 (SAD)
-Grey- - 1 (Cephir)

With 15 alive it's 8 to lynch. Deadline is 4/29 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 5.2

Hocho Knife - 8 (Desperado, Brian Skies, Majiffy, Kise, hiplop, Antihero, SAD, Grey)
-Grey- - 1 (Cephir)

With 15 alive it's 8 to lynch. Deadline is 4/29 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Flavor

Soon. Why must you people only lynch when I'm not home?

Hocho Knife, Ivanka Trump,

Town Trump-Informed Nose Holder

lynched Day 5

Hocho Knife

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Ivanka Trump, Town Trump-Informed Nose Holder

Well...

FUCK

.

You didn't expect your dad to actually get this far. Nobody expected him to last past the first debate. He did. Nobody expected him to win the nomination. He did. Nobody expected him to beat Hillary. He did. Nobody expected him to literally become Hitler. He did. Nobody expected him to open up a portal to the 4th ring of Hell and bring the apocalypse to Earth. He did.

The worst part about all of this is that your relationship with your faggy friends has been completely distorted. Like, you know your dad. You'll never FULLY turn your back on him. But it's hard not to feel a little sympathy. While you're still ultimately committed to blowing your father any time he asks, you really have a heart. It has put you in almost an IMPOSSIBLE position! Such are the woes of incest in a post-Trump world.

Active Abilities

None.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches.
2.

Who's Your Daddy?

: You know that PLAYERNAME is Donald J. Trump. His role PM is revealed in the first post. Do what this information what you will, but understand that giving in to your sympathetic urges could topple your father's entire regime, and the world along with it.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Night actions are due in 72 hours. If everyone sends me a PM asking for an accelerated night, I will open the thread early.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

breitbart

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whoa, we're fucking stupid

in a baffling move, we somehow thought it would be a good idea to put hocho at l-1 while grey's vote was still at play. in an unastonishingly scum-motivated move, grey took the opportunity to quick hammer the hocho knife wagon after SAD put them at l-1 with the apparent intention for kuribo to take the hammer. later that day, vaxkiller was set to testify about the case of the mysterious scum redirector menacing arizona. at the time, kuribo expressed dissatisfaction at the interruption: "I woulda at least waited for vax to claim results Jesus fuck man." ser arthur dayne wistfully mused, "Kuribo if only you vigged grey imagine the possibilities............" unfortunately no one else could be reached for comment.

after the flip, our executive chair was seen walking away while shaking his head, muttering "fucking kise..." he then locked himself in his office after taking a bottle of vodka from one of the editor's desk. we have been unable to coax him out since.

related stories:

twitter users brace themselves for mike huckabee's next cringeworthy tweet

new poll shows readers find the former governor's twitter feed only slightly less awful than rectal prolapse

show where cephrir laughs while drawing hitler mustaches on pictures of random people set to premiere sunday night on fox

will still probably do better than allen gregory did

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

This is a sad day, perhaps the saddest, everyone is saying it's the saddest. Our benevolent lord Trump was so sad that people disliked him that he grabbed a bullet out of a homosexual's gun and put it directly into his own brain. He couldn't get shot, that's fake news. He wanted this. We'll all never know how great our lives could have been if we'd just let him be God Emperor for a few more decades. His funeral will be the biggest funeral of all time, none of the mourners will be paid, and there'll be so much weeping that people will be able to buy $8.00 bottles of water to help them rehydrate and cry for the mandated two-week mourning period.

In other news, The Nuge was found dead outside of a counselling office with a bladed dildo up his ass.
Never knew he was gay.

DrippingGoofball,

The Nuge, Town 1-shot-Vig Maker

, committed suicide in a Pray Away The Gay forced counselling camp Night 5
Desperado,

God Emperor Trump, Town Macho Enabled JOAT

, killed Night 5

DrippingGoofball

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

THE NUGE, Town 1-shot-Vig Maker

When God Emperor Trump rose to power, as was divinely predicted in your sacred art, your music was enshrined in the Holy Trumptist Hymnal for use in the mandatory daily worship services. Because of the lucrative royalties that this entailed, you were able to use this massive financial windfall to purchase all of the guns that you could imagine. However, because you have but two hands and unlike the God Emperor they are not infinitely and magically free to grab all of the pussy, money, weed, and guns that your mind can conceive, you are constantly dropping them as you endeavor to conceal with their omnipresence the profound disappointment that is Hammerdown, as you have taken to calling your schwantz, a fact that you would love to share with a lady if any would ever come near you. Sometimes people pick up your guns and use them to murder people, but that's just the price of freedom.

Active Abilities

1.

Why can't I hold all this freedom

At night, you may target another player. That player will receiving the following role PM

You have been given a gun as a random gift, as is your sacred right as a Free Trumpmerican. You have gained the following active ability: Once during the game, at night, you may target another player. That player will be targeted with a kill.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Desperado

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

God Emperor Trump

, Macho Town Enabled JOAT

Who's laughing now, bitches? You were the laughingstock of the factory. All the big people looked at your green hair and orange skin and small stature and tiny hands and laughed and laughed and laughed saying oh look at this little guy he's a cute oompa loompa let's go do important big people things. It made you so angry. Then you were united with a sentient wig and everything changed. Especially your penis which was totally fine before but now... well let's just say there's no problem. The wig changed you. You got big. Super big. Especially your penis, which as I said before is totally a good size there's no need to measure it or even really have sex with the lights on we all know how big it is. The wig whispered to you. It told you secrets about how to harness the energy of fear and racism on your way to becoming GOD EMPEROR OF THE WORLD. You won your first election a landslide, possibly the biggest landslide in the history of the universe, which you make sure all your loyal subjects tattoo on their bodies, and each subsequent victory has also been the biggest. Everyone loves you and no one ever says anything about your hands. You will rule over this universe for a thousand years of peace and prosperity, no matter what those weird homosexuals say about how big your penis is. They're totally wrong. It's yuge.

Active Abilities

1.

I promise you, there's no problem

- You have a 1-shot vig. You can strangle people with your totally regular-sized hands.
2.

Pussy grabbing

- You have a 1-shot roleblock. You can use your incredible star power to grab someone's pussy and automatically start kissing them. They'll let you because you're famous. They just won't let you do it again for some reason.
3.

Twitter

- You have a 1-shot fruit vendor in the form of a tweet. You can send someone 140 characters.
4.

The wall

- You have a 1-shot bulletproof vest that you can give someone. It will protect them from Mexicans. But only once because it's a shitty half-baked idea.
5.

FAKE NEWS

- You have a 1-shot ability to make someone's next action loud. If targeted, that player's target and the ability which targeted them will be revealed in the opening day post. (For example, you target UT. UT is a RB and targets Reck the next night. The opening day post will say "RECK WAS ROLEBLOCKED")

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2.

Enabled

. All of your active and passive abilities (not including your vote and macho modifier) are enabled.
3. Any protective abilities that target you will fail.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Surrounding Antihero in a healing light. Like a muthafukken bauss.

With 12 alive it's 7 to lynch. Deadline is 5/3 at 12PM EST.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.1

Vax - 4 (Cephir, LRF, kuribo, BS)
hiplop - 1 (SAD)
SAD - 1 (hiplop)
Grey - 1 (Antihero)

With 12 alive it's 7 to lynch. Deadline is 5/3 at 12PM EST.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.1

Vax - 6 (Cephir, LRF, kuribo, BS, Antihero, Kise)
hiplop - 1 (SAD)
SAD - 1 (hiplop)
Grey - 1 (Antihero)

With 12 alive it's 7 to lynch. Deadline is 5/3 at 12PM EST.

Pine is being replaced.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Final Day 6 Votecount

Vax - 7 (Cephir, LRF, kuribo, BS, Antihero, Kise, Vaxkiller)

hiplop - 1 (SAD)
SAD - 1 (hiplop)
Grey - 1 (Antihero)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

"...okay ladies..."

She took a big shiny boot to the face. Blood shot out of her mouth, maybe a tooth.

Beyonce knew what she had signed up to do. She knew the risks. She knew the consequences.

She knew that partying with Bowie on Mars would come with its price. And this was the price she was willing to pay.

Beyonce rose up and belted out the highest note she knew how to hit. It blew back the border patrol army before her.

She rose up. One of her combat boots hit the ground. A shockwave went off.

"...now let's get in formation."

A choir of cosmic angels swarmed around her, forming a protective shield.

Beyonce began to glow with gay radiance. She was powering up her kamehameha.

That's when the nuke hit.

Vaxkiller [Queen Bey],

Mafia Roleblocker

, was lynched D6

Vaxkiller

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Queen Bey

, Mafia Roleblocker

The question isn't how did Beyonce die and pass on to the great beyond, or even when did Beyonce die and pass on to the great beyond. The question is... did she die? The answer is no, because she was fucking queen and therefore immortal.

When God Emperor Trump rose to power, you were the first ones he targeted. His Gestapo tried to bust down the doors to your home. You got the kids out, Jay died in true badass fashion mowing down rows of Nazis, and you had to find a way out.

Bowie appeared and obviously offered you a seat on his council. He swore that one day, you'd return and have the chance to claim your crown again. And off you went to Mars, where apparently things have been existing in a rock 'n roll powered time bubble or something.

That's not important. What's important is that Bowie has said now is the time to return to Earth and take back the planet, and you've got your game face on.

It's time to get in formation.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. At night, you may target another player. Any actions that player takes that night will fail.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

Night actions are due in 72 hours

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

He is risen!

The thread will open later today.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The Daily Breitbart

just not feeling it. p sure it was less funny and more obnoxious anyway.

scumreads are grey, pine, and sad. sub in majiffy if any of those are wrong.

quickhammering every recent wagon EXCEPT the one on the scum roleblocker is still scum-motivated. and the the kise push is so bad, bad, bad.

pine's claim (or how his claimed flavor matches up with his role) seems bullshitty. i also didn't like his reaction to spiffeh telling him to replace out

sad's flail-y attempt at salvaging towncred from the vax lynch is cute, but pretty transparent. soft defending vax until it was too late then jumping on and throwing mud... /yawn

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The sun rises in the morning, tides come in, Antihero won't die tonight. Three things you can COUNT ON motherfucker

"Heil!"

The stormtroopers saluted Obergruppenführer Giuliani and turned to march out of the castle. Giluliani paced over to his gothic cathedral window. He picked up his glass of pinot noir and sipped it gingerly from the fossilized liberal skull he kept sitting on his liquor table.

"SIR!"

A soldierpolice burst into the room, breathlessly.

"How dare you interrupt me-time..."

"I wouldn't usually... but sir... this is important..."

Rudy rubbed his temples and growled.

"It better be--"

Before he could finish, soldiers flooded in to the chamber, dragging someone with a bag over their head. They dropped the prisoner to their knees in front of Rudy. He eyeballed the soldiers in the room.

"Well? Let's see who we've got here..."

Rudy whipped the bag away from the prisoner's face, revealing the glowing countenance of Jesus Christ.

"Wha... WHA... JESUS!?"

Jesus rolled his eyes.

"Ugh! Yeah, okay fucknuts, act like you love me and shit now. I swear to God."

Rudy blinked wildly and shook his head back and forth.

"What're you all doing with JESUS CHRIST in handcuffs!?"

The soldier stammered out a response.

"We... we caught him graffiting the Wall, sir. He was writing out F-U-C-K T-R-U-M----"

Rudy cut him off.

"Don't you dare finish that." He turned to Jesus. "So is that true? Was the Son of God writing blasphemy on the walls?"

Jesus sighed.

"Look, I'm literally God incarnate, they couldn't hurt me or capture me without me allowing it, because Free Will is a complete illusion."

Rudy stopped.

"That wasn't a denial of the crime."

Jesus spat at him.

"Fuck Trump."

Rudy's eyebrows dropped into a despondent frown. "What a sad way to see one of your heroes go. Guards, execute him."

The line of soldiers cocked their rifles and leveled them at Jesus.

"ALLAHU ACKBAR!" Jesus began to glow white, hot white, then there was a flash. An explosion. And everyone was gone.

Brian Skies, Rudy Giuliani,

Town Stop-and-Frisker

killed Night 6
Little Red Fedora, Jesus Christ,

Arrogant Mafia Doctor

killed Night 6

Brian Skies

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Rudy Guiliani

, Town Stop-and-Frisker

Hey look, it's everybody's favorite mayor, RUDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GUILIANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Sometimes people say that you have a really unhinged grip on what is an appropriate response to crime, but you like to remind them of a little event called NINE ELEVEN. Can't argue with that logic. Anyway, you snuggled up with God Emperor Trump's court due to your love of overreaching police action and a virulent hatred of Muslims. Due to your leadership, that's why the police now stop and frisk for gay dildos. It's a good future.

Active Abilities

1. At night, you may target another player. If that player has a gun, you will steal it.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Little Red Fedora

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Jesus Christ

, Arrogant Mafia Doctor

These. Mother. FUCKERS.

So, look, okay. You know, you're omniscient and all that so you saw this God Emperor Trump bullshit coming from literally an infinite amount of time away. But even then, who the fuck couldn't see it coming?

First, they lynched you during Elton's funeral. "Lynched" is actually a word which here means "had your ass beaten beyond recognition and then stabbed to death". And you were just like, okay, it's cool guys. Whatever. I get it. That's the price you pay for being mortal so you could do some good blow at the funeral of the millennium.

But then... then, at Bowie & Elton's masquerade ball, the fucking assholes LITERALLY CRUCIFIED YOU A SECOND TIME. Like, what on fucking Earth!? Hello... you're the

goddamn savior of humanity

and they lynched you?

At this point Bowie was like, "Hey yo, stop fucking around on Earth and come chill with me in my psychadelic party mansion on Mars for a few eons or something." So you did, and you picked up some sick DJ skills in the process. But now, Bowie says it's time to go to Earth to defeat Trump or something. Whatever, as long as you get to leap down and land on the ground in a really cool kneeling pose, you're on board to fuck up some Nazis. You just want to make sure these fucking idiots know how goddamn cool you are this time. You swore you'd never go mortal again so YOU SWEAR TO GOD if they kill you again, you're done.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. At night, you may target another player. That player will be immune to all abilities that could kill them.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.
3. Any action that you take will be reported in the opening-day post (without announcing who took the action). Example: "Holy shit you guys, I totally healed Reck today. I'm so fucking great."

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.1

hiplop - 2 (SAD, Majiffy)
Grey - 1 (kuribo)
SAD - 1 (Antihero)
kuribo - 1 (Kise)
Majiffy - 1 (hiplop)

With 9 alive it's 5 to lynch. Deadline is 5/8 at 9PM EST

Still looking for a replacement for Pine. Please tell your friends.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

MathBlade, who is a goddamn superhero, is replacing Pine.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Hello all,

I made an error on Night 5 and did not send out a PM that I should have. This does not affect any flips, deaths, or any other major gamestate changes. I have corrected the error.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Mods just PM'd me and said that they took me locking my vote in on Hocho knife (from the antihero thing) as me sending a whistle to them and they ignored the one I sent to Ceph

Mistakes were made. Hold please.

And for transparency, it's not "mods" in this case. This was me (UT) who made a mistake, not Reck.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Hey guys,

First of all, I'm really sorry that the game is interrupted like this. You all have been really good sports about the modding hiccups, and I appreciate it. The game is

not

ruined or anything like that, but I am assessing how to properly solve two moderating errors that I've made, one major and one somewhat minor. No one flipped who wasn't supposed to and no alignments have been compromised. I am taking the time to come up with the best possible solution so as to be be most fair to the players and not give anyone an unfair advantage or disadvantage.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Okay gang, here's what we're doing:

First of all, this is UT talking. None of this is Reck's fault.

I've made two moderating errors. I have decided that, in order to best solve this I will need to fully reveal to you the errors. I want to minimize speculation and correct any misinformation I have caused. No alignments will be revealed, although this will require me to fully reveal one player's role.

I'd like to apologize to all of you for this. You have all put a tremendous amount of effort into this game, and I am very sorry that I made a couple of careless errors that change the way the game is going. I completely understand if you're mad or don't want to play in any of my future games. If you want to talk to me about this more fully, feel free to PM me.

Okay, without any further ado.

_____________________________

hiplop's role is a fruit vendor. I sent his fruit vend to the wrong target one night. I have decided that we will do a full reveal here of his actions so as to minimize any speculation or further confusion, and possibly to mitigate any lingering misinformation based on my errors. Here are hiplop's correct actions:

N1: Spiffeh
N2: Wraith
N3: Cephir
N4: kuribo
N5: SAD
N6: No action

______________________________

ABR was targeted with a killing action on Night 2. I mistakenly processed the night's actions with him being bulletproof instead of investigation immune. He should have been flipped on the start of Day 3. Obviously that changes the complexion of the game, and there's nothing I can do about that, but I want to make sure that you are all informed about that, as it has been discussed in thread.

______________________________

Okay. Again, I'm really sorry about all this, and I hope that we can finish out the game with this not giving anyone an unfair advantage or disadvantage. Again, please do not hesitate to PM me if you have any other questions.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.2

SAD - 3 (Kise, Antihero, Grey)
Grey - 2 (Majiffy, SAD)
Mathblade - 2 (kuribo, hiplop)
Cephir - 1 (MathBlade)

With 9 alive it's 5 to lynch. Deadline is 5/8 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

bump

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

bump

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.3

Grey - 4 (Majiffy, Antihero, SAD, kuribo)
SAD - 3 (Kise, Grey, Cephir)
Cephir - 1 (MathBlade)

With 9 alive it's 5 to lynch. Deadline is 5/8 at 9PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 6.4

Mathblade - 5 (Cephir, hiplop, kuribo, Mathblade, SAD)

Grey - 2 (Majiffy, Antihero)
SAD - 2 (Kise, Grey)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The renegade priest burst into the neon-shadowed sex club unprepared for the horror awaiting him. Seventeen Mexican day laborers, still wearing tattered remnants of their various construction and farming uniforms,
were attempting to escape a puddle of negative space in the center of the pillow-laden room. Some were crawling away, their innards splayed out behind them, while others were being pulled groin first inexorably towards the hungry void. All, however, were sobbing.

The priest suppressed an involuntary gasp and pulled out the super soaker full of holy water. He stepped towards the void and began to pump the gun with vigor.

"YOUR TIME IS AT AN END, DEMON"

He sprayed with reckless abandon into the center of the void. The stream hissed and bent towards an unseen point within. The void released the closest day laborer with a sickening slurp as a horrible noise oozed from within.

"My assssssssssssssss"

The void shrunk and foul smoked poured forth. As the void shrunk, the figure of a leather woman appeared within it.

"Begone! The power of Christ compels you!"

From everywhere and nowhere a voice took form within the the priest's mind

"I'll suck your cock in Hell"

He pumped furiously and emptied the Super Soaker into the void. The darkness faded completely from existence and winked out of existence as it contracted to a point within the leather woman's leather asshole. Ann Coulter lay splayed out on the floor. She was covered in the various fluids of countless Mexican day laborers who the demon within her asshole had consumed. She wore a necklace of their teeth and a pair of greasy rubber kitchen gloves. She was dead.

Mathblade, Retluoc'Nna,

Town Self-Inflicted Negative JOAT

, lynched Day 6

Pine

You are

Retluoc'Nna, Town Self-Inflicted Negative JOAT

At Rick Santorum's Christmas party, your human aspect destroyed itself by shoving objects in her ass until it developed malicious sentience. The wormhole ripped your aspects apart, unchaining your true form from imprisonment in the Hell dimension and allowing you to wander the earth to feed. You must eat babies to sustain yourself, and they must be delectable babies of different religious nationalities. There's nothing more delicious than a ripe Jew baby. Unfortunately, each type of baby causes you to have a different kind of infirmity, so plan your meals accordingly!

Active Abilities

1.

Mmm, that's good Jew baby flesh

. Each night, you

must

choose a different type of baby to eat. You may not pick the same type of baby twice in a row. If you do not send in a baby type, one will be chosen at random. Your choices are listed below.

Certified kosher baby!

Until the end of the next night it takes one less vote to lynch you (this option is not available in MYLO or LYLO)

This Catholic baby came pre-molested!

Your votes will only count if they are hammer votes.

Oh no! This Muslim baby has a child-sized suicide vest!

Until the end of the next night, you are a supersaint and PGO.

Why is this Atheist baby wearing a fedora?

Until the end of the next night, any actions you take will be posted in a mod post
ex: "I just can't stop eating Jew babies!"

Umm...weird Asian religion baby?

You can only post twice per page when the game is 15 players or above, three times per page when between 8-14, four times when 7 or less.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Night actions are due in 72 hours.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The Daily Breitbart

i have no jokes. and no motivation to think of any.

i have descended into the mental funk and i will not be back for a while.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Kise,

Mike "Motherfuckin'" Pence, Town Conversion Therapist

killed Night 6

Kise

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Mike "Motherfuckin'" Pence, Town Conversion Therapist

Indiana was your testing ground. "Religious freedom" laws that did nothing but hurt minorities. Forced fetus funerals. Anti-LGBT legislation. It was all in preparation of your ultimate goal: ridding the world of fags. Luckily, you hitched your wagon to the right fascist, and Trump's meteoric rise to power allowed you to rid of the world of The Faggot Menace once and for all.

Except now, your legacy is threatened by these secret infiltrator gays. You can't let everything you've worked for go to waste, so it's time to break out that circa-1990's tool you used to great effect once before: conversion therapy. Your electro-shock paddles are ready. Plus, you have an infinite supply of rubber gloves to carry out the deed. After all... with so many less queers in the world, who else was going to use them?

Active Abilities

1.

It's Alive!!! I think...

: Each night, you may choose to submit someone to conversion therapy. You will gain a Private Topic with your target, which has day talk enabled. In this topic, you may question them and determine their true sexuality. At the end of the next night, you have to decide... should you continue to subject them to conversion therapy? Anyone you choose to keep in therapy will ultimately kill themselves, because that's what happened. But if you think you've got it wrong, you can also choose to let them go free back into the apocalyptic hellscape you and Donald have created.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

With 7 alive it's 4 to lynch. Deadline is 5/7 at 5PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 8.1

SAD - 3 (Cephir, hiplop, Grey)
Grey - 2 (Antihero, SAD)

With 7 alive it's 4 to lynch. Deadline is 5/7 at 5PM EST

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

David Duke, noted white supremecist and Republican lawmaker, was found dead at his desk last night. The cause of death was suffocation by enormous black dildo. His dick was out. Lotion was found on the scene.

Final Day 8 Votecount

Grey - 4 (Antihero, SAD, kuribo, Majiffy)

SAD - 3 (Cephir, hiplop, Grey)

With 7 alive it's 4 to lynch. Deadline is 5/7 at 5PM EST

-Grey-, David Duke, Trump-Enabling Neighbor, Lynched Day 8

-Grey-

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

David Duke, Trump-Enabling Neighbor

“These Jews who run things, who are producing this mental illness - teenage suicide... all these Jewish sicknesses. That's nothing new. The Talmud's full of things like sex with boys and girls. Our clear goal must be the advancement of the white race and separation of the white and black races. This goal must include freeing of the American media and government from subservient Jewish interests. The Jews are trying to destroy all other cultures - as a survival mechanism - the only Nazi country in the world is Israel. The civil rights of European Americans are being violated by affirmative action, forced integration and anti-European immigration policies. We face cultural discrimination in the media and education. An example is the media hate crime hysteria that highlights and publicizes any white crime against minorities.”

Make America White Again.

Active Abilities

None.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches.
2.

Trump Enabler

: You were responsible for Donald's rise to power, and as such, you are an enabler. You know that Donald Trump is the town's most powerful ally, and that your life allows him to execute some of his abilities.

[PARTIALLY REDACTED]

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Night actions are due in 72 hours. If everyone sends me a PM asking for the night to end early we will do that.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

A hush fell over a thousand American cities. The king of acceptable print media had passed from this world to a better one. Steve Bannon, purveyor of Truth and Dismantler of The System had died the way he lived,
eight drinks deep, covered in Cheeto dust, with a giant rubber dick in his ass. Only this time, he also had a giant rubber dick crammed down his throat. Oddly enough, coroners found that the cause of death was not suffocation, but a massive stroke caused by an unexpectedly powerful orgasm.

Steve was survived by an ex-wife, a herd of feral cats, and a host of sentient award robots who were the only things who couldn't refuse to be friends with him.

Wraith

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Steve Bannon

, Town Cryer

Well, this is embarrassing. You just wanted to surf the wave of anti-establishment nationalism to leverage for more ad money for Breitbart. You've been the only one really running the show here for years now, and it's starting to get old. You just wanted to be able to afford a gilded palatial bedroom to rival even Rush Limbaugh's and instead ended up having to live at the fucking White House. Oh well, at least you have all of these slaves now oops we're calling them unpaid interns. At the very least you've become fabulously wealthy due to the fact that Breitbart is now the official state media, and you can force everyone to have to read your headlines. That's the only consolation you have for the fact that your heart exploded years ago and you're being kept alive by spite and racism.

Active Abilities

1.

Breitbart

- At night, you may give the mod a message to post in the day-opening post. The mod has veto powers over content of the message.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

Antihero, Steve Bannon, Town Cryer killed N8. With 5 alive it's 3 to lynch. Deadline is 5/12 at 5PM EST.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Votecount 9.1

hiplop - 3 (SAD, kuribo, Cephir)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

RUMBLING INTENSIFIES

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

It was the last days of the Trump Republic. The last holdouts were looting the local Wal-Marts of all the guns and bibles so they could clutch them madly at the end of the world. Willie Robertson blew his duck whistles until his throat was sore as he madly dug graves for himself and his family. He never even saw the shooter.

He fell into his own grave, his blood mixing with the rich swamp as the gays bulldozed his home to put in a luxury brunch spot.

hiplop,

Willie Robertson, Town Fruit Vendor

, lynched Day 9

hiplop

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Willie Robertson, Fruit Vendor

The world knew that you were actually a fairly rich, affluent dude from a wealthy family who decided to adopt this redneck image as a way to make a quick buck. The world didn't care. America ate up your bullshit anyway and funneled millions of dollars into your empire. Your show was scripted. Nobody cared. And you played to your audience. You endorsed Donald Trump, and personally, it was a wise business move. After all, the Trump regime made it so your line of Duck Dynasty™ products spiked in popularity.

Even in this apocalyptic world where hell itself has erupted, you're still just a capitalist, self-servicing dickweed who wants to get his. Hawk your wares and make a quick buck, because who the fuck knows how long this paradise will last?

Active Abilities

1.

Whistle While You Work

: Each night, you may give a Duck Dynasty™ branded Duck Whistle to anyone you want. They'll receive the whistle, but like all of the things you brand and sell, it's worthless and does nothing valuable.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches.

You win the game when all threats to town are dead

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

The

Mafia

team has won. Congratulations to Albert B. Rampage, Little Red Fedora, Vaxkiller, Cephir, and kuribo

Final flavor, PTs, and remaining role PMs incoming

Albert B. Rampage

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Ziggy Stardust

, Intergalactic Magical Mafia Godfather

2016 was a rough year. You saw this shit coming from way far away. God Emperor Trump's rise was inevitable, but you were prescient enough to record a farewell album and peace out before things got bad. What people missed, though, is that Bowie doesn't die. Bowie transcends. In that mystical groovy purgatory between life and death, you finally became Ziggy Stardust. In the millenia since God Emperor Trump rose to power, you've been biding your time in the Great Beyond, pulling together your funkadelic army and waiting for the moment to return.

That time is now. It's time to topple Trump and return the world to a funkadelic rock-n-roll orgy.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. During pre-game and then each night, you must select

LSD

or

Mushrooms

.

LSD

will make you bulletproof.

Mushrooms

will make you investigation immune. If you are ever shot at while bulletproof, you will lose that selection and just become investigation immune permanently.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

Little Red Fedora

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Jesus Christ

, Arrogant Mafia Doctor

These. Mother. FUCKERS.

So, look, okay. You know, you're omniscient and all that so you saw this God Emperor Trump bullshit coming from literally an infinite amount of time away. But even then, who the fuck couldn't see it coming?

First, they lynched you during Elton's funeral. "Lynched" is actually a word which here means "had your ass beaten beyond recognition and then stabbed to death". And you were just like, okay, it's cool guys. Whatever. I get it. That's the price you pay for being mortal so you could do some good blow at the funeral of the millennium.

But then... then, at Bowie & Elton's masquerade ball, the fucking assholes LITERALLY CRUCIFIED YOU A SECOND TIME. Like, what on fucking Earth!? Hello... you're the

goddamn savior of humanity

and they lynched you?

At this point Bowie was like, "Hey yo, stop fucking around on Earth and come chill with me in my psychadelic party mansion on Mars for a few eons or something." So you did, and you picked up some sick DJ skills in the process. But now, Bowie says it's time to go to Earth to defeat Trump or something. Whatever, as long as you get to leap down and land on the ground in a really cool kneeling pose, you're on board to fuck up some Nazis. You just want to make sure these fucking idiots know how goddamn cool you are this time. You swore you'd never go mortal again so YOU SWEAR TO GOD if they kill you again, you're done.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. At night, you may target another player. That player will be immune to all abilities that could kill them.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.
3. Any action that you take will be reported in the opening-day post (without announcing who took the action). Example: "Holy shit you guys, I totally healed Reck today. I'm so fucking great."

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

Vaxkiller

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Queen Bey

, Mafia Roleblocker

The question isn't how did Beyonce die and pass on to the great beyond, or even when did Beyonce die and pass on to the great beyond. The question is... did she die? The answer is no, because she was fucking queen and therefore immortal.

When God Emperor Trump rose to power, you were the first ones he targeted. His Gestapo tried to bust down the doors to your home. You got the kids out, Jay died in true badass fashion mowing down rows of Nazis, and you had to find a way out.

Bowie appeared and obviously offered you a seat on his council. He swore that one day, you'd return and have the chance to claim your crown again. And off you went to Mars, where apparently things have been existing in a rock 'n roll powered time bubble or something.

That's not important. What's important is that Bowie has said now is the time to return to Earth and take back the planet, and you've got your game face on.

It's time to get in formation.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. At night, you may target another player. Any actions that player takes that night will fail.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

kuribo

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

Laverne Cox

, Mafia Framer

Gender is a social construct, and you're here to prove it.

You are a woman, born in a man's body, who played a man cross-dressing as a woman on television. And that's fuckin' rad.

Obviously, you knew you had to get the fuck out once Trump rose to power. The historic bill signing that placed genitalia sensors in every public restroom was the last straw. Why are white men always so obsessed with what queer people do with their junk?

In any case, you reached out to one of the early godfathers of bringing queerness to the public eye -- David Bowie himself. He reached down from the great beyond and scooped you up to his Intergalactic Castle on Mars, where you all sadly watched from a time bubble as Earth was mutilated and destroyed. Now, mutants roam the land, people are herded into camps like sheep, and Trump is living by absorbing the life force of other people.

Bowie says it's time. Put on your finest ruby lipstick, some pumps, and why not bring along an AK-47 or two for good measure? It's time to fuck up some Nazis and beat them at their own game.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2. At night, you may target another player. That player will appear guilty to any investigation that could show them as guilty of that night's mafia kill.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

bundle of sticks

Welcome to Gay Mafia III: Trumpocalypse Now

You are

GabeN

, Mafia Trump-Enabling Neighbor

You never asked to get lumped in with those fucking batshit insane basement dwelling turdhuffers that gave Trump his rise to power, but well, they fucking worshipped you as a god or something. Your memeness preceded Trump's memeness, which heralded the apocalypse, so in a way, you feel like this is all your fault.

You were the last piece of Bowie's puzzle as he was assembling his Martian Suicide Squad to attempt a raid on God Emperor Trump's planet. He needed a smart mind that could whip up technical gadgets. But perhaps most importantly, he needed a spy on the inside. He needed someone who could speak the language of these filthy fedora tipping neckbeards and get inside information.

The time is now. You're ready to atone for your accidental role in the rise of this fucking abomination by going where no sane person should ever go: /r/the_donald.

Active Abilities

1. As a member of the Mafia team, you have the ability to perform your faction's nightkill. You may not perform the kill and any other active abilities unless you are the last mafia member alive.
2.

Reddit admins -

At any time, you may SHUT DOWN /r/the_donald.

Passive Abilities

1. You may vote for lynches
2. Your faction may talk in this Private Topic at any time.
3.

Trump Enabler

: You were responsible for Donald's rise to power, and as such, you are an enabler. You know that Donald Trump is the town's most powerful ally, and that your life allows him to execute some of his abilities.
4.

/r/the_donald

: (this is how this would be worded if you were town) You trade dank memes and stinging rebukes of LIEbruls in /r/the_donald. Be vigilant. None of you are alignment-confirmed to one another, and there COULD be infiltrators in your midst. I mean, there could also not be infiltrators! It's key that you don't reveal your identity as an enabler, as that may make Donald weaker to the nefarious forces that seek to destroy him.

You win the game when your faction has a simple majority or nothing can prevent that from happening

The Homosexuals and Homosexual Sympathizers know that Reince Preibus, Sean "Nazi Spice" Spicer, Kelly-Anne Conway, Jan Brewer, and Kelly Ayote are not roles in the game.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

A ball of lightning flickered madly in the desert air. With a final flicker and a crack, the prone figure of a man appeared in its center. Sir Elton Hercules John stood, resplendent in his nudity, and strode in the direction of the mad moon. His asscheeks flapped in the desert wind, clapping together and creating the thunder. It boomed across generations. He found a highway and saw an oncoming car. He pivoted and swung his tree trunk-like dick across the highway, creating a barrier. The car skid to a halt. Terrified, the man jumped out of the car and tore ass the opposite direction. Elton gently chuckled and hopped into the driver's seat.

Elton took out his GPS and punched in the coordinates to his secret bunker. Petal to the metal. Off he goes into the night.

The last bastion of Trump supporters gathered just inside the precipice of Fort Trump. The Great Wall had been broken. Now, a funnel of gays and Muslims and immigrants and women were flooding through, surrounding the castle.

Newt Gingrich looked around at the solemn faces before him. His doppelganger, Steve Bannon, was bleary-eyed. Even moreso than usual. Willie Robertson had been devoured outside by the flesh-hungry crowd of heathens at the doors. Newt found himself silent for the first time ever.

David Duke hobbled over from the corner to the last remaining officer in Trump's army.

"Bereichsleiter Pepe... we're the last chance for the Fourth Reich."

Pepe was silent.

"What... what do we do, sir?"

Pepe slowly turned around.

"Only one thing to do..."

Spoiler:

BLAM! The shotgun shell ripped through Pepe's face and sprayed frog guts all over David Duke.

"UNCLEAN!! UNCLEAN!! ONLY PURE WHITENESS MAY TOUCH THIS BODY!!"

David Duke began to spasm. He dove for the supply closet and opened every single jug of bleach, pouring it all over his body.

"AHHHHHH! YES!!! WHITE... POWER!!!"

The flesh bubbled and peeled back from his body.

Elton John was prepared. With his purple star-shaped sunglasses on, he looked old school cool flying across the desert towards Fort Trump in his helicopter. With Trump's army in shambles, it made assaulting the base a breeze.

Though Donald was dead, Elton was all too familiar with the real source of power. As he hovered over the highest point of the castle, Elton grabbed his bag and leapt from the helicopter, landing neatly on the roof. The helicopter itself lost control and spun wildly until it collided with another tower. Then there was a VERY cool explosion.

Elton rolled through a nearby window into the Grand Chamber. There, on a desk, lit only by candlelight was the ball of orange fibers and figments. The last remnant of Donald Trump. The former parasite that piloted Nicolas Cage. Or, as Elton knew him...

"Hello... Thor."

The sentient toupee cackled maniacally, but halfway through, he sputtered and coughed like an old smoker.

"Elton. Ha! Trying to finish me off once again?"

Elton smirked.

"I was willing to give you a pass when you subjected the world to Nicolas Cage's acting career. You left. You should've stayed gone, Thor."

The wig scoffed.

"I'll never stay gone, Elton. Never. I crave power. And though you may have won for now, one of these days, I will return. And I'll find another talentless buffoon to ride around on. And I'll grab even MORE power! First it was Hollywood, then America... next, it'll be the WORLD! No, the Solar System! No... the Galaxy!" No... the--"

Elton cut him off by tossing a molotov cocktail on the table. Thor's screams were fierce but subsided quickly as the very last fiber burned alive.

It was finished.

The front doors to the castle finally cracked. Laverne Cox, resplendent in her Mad Max-style wasteland garb, was first through the door. Steve Bannon barely had enough time to look up at her before she brought down her club made of bone and cracked his skull open. In his final brief moment, he farted. Laverne peeled the club back and his limp frame slumped to the ground.

Newt Gingrich turned and bumbled up the staircase, attempting to find refuge. Laverne chuckled. She knew he wouldn't get far.

Newt found himself safe in a corridor off the main entryway. He collapsed against a wall, winded. That's when he heard the

whirr

. Newt whimpered and turned to peer out the window. Hovering in front of him was a giant mech, with none other than Gabe Newell piloting it. The two men stared each other down for a second before Gabe hauled off and brought his giant mechanical fist down on the corridor. Nobody was sure if Newt died then, or while tumbling down ten stories to the ground below. But it's important to know that he also farted.

Months passed.

The gays and women and minorities of the world had to rebuild. America was a desolate wasteland of radioactive ash, sure... but that didn't mean it couldn't be fabulous.

The New Republic had appointed Elton John as its Fabulous Leader. Graciously, he accepted.

The rebuilding process was slow. But luckily for humanity, since Elton John was immortal, he had all the time in the world.

Thor was dead. Trump and his cronies had been eviscerated.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

A new day had dawned.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Dead Thread
Mafia PT
the_donald

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Congratulations all! Let us know if you want to be on the list for Gay Mafia 4, whenever that happens.